You might as well just stop crying
It doesn't mean much to me anymore
A little too late to start trying
I'm taking this love off of life support.

Two Weeks Later

I regretting everything; everything hurt, my heart, my stomach, my head. It felt like there was a weight on my chest preventing me from breathing. I hadn't gotten out of bed since that day. I hadn't eaten but I wasn't hungry either. I sighed and wiped my burning eyes, no more tears were coming and I wished they just would. There was a soft knock on the door but I didn't want to open it. I didn't want to get out of bed, hell, I didn't think I could at all. I was certain that my legs wouldn't be able to carry my thin frame the twenty steps it would be to the door.

"Jack, open up, please," a male voice said.

"Why," my voice croaked.

"It's your RA, open the door or I'm going to open it myself."

I laid my head back on the pillow and curled into the wall. I heard the door open and shut and I just rolled over, my eyes still closed. I felt my bed dip as my RA sat at the foot of my bed. I heard him sigh and I opened my eyes making eye contact with him and he just shook his head.

"You're a mess Jacky," he sighed.

"I fucked up okay, there's so many things I would change if I could but I can't. What's done is done and there's nothing that can be done to undo it," I vented.

"Jacky, we all make mistakes. If he really was the one he's going to come back, if he wasn't then he's gone forever. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to forgive yourself. Look, I'll take you out tonight, just please shower, you smell really bad. Just, you need to go to classes and shit too, you're here for a reason so please try to do school."

"I fucked up, I don't want to do anything."

"I understand Jay, I've had some bad break ups, you just have to push through them. He's moved on already and I need him."

"No, you need food and water. You need to live for yourself instead of neglecting yourself. You don't deserve death, you deserve to forgive yourself but you don't want to forgive yourself because you can't move on from your mistakes when that's what you need to do the most. Before you love someone else you need to learn to love yourself. I miss the bright smiley guy that moved in earlier this year but lately if you even leave your room you're moping around all the time and that's not how I thought this was going to turn out. Just try to smile, even for a day."

"Thanks Josh, I appreciate it. If the offer is open for tonight still then I'll take it. I think I need to get out of this room," I whispered.

"Sure, we're leaving at eight."

I watched as Josh got up and left the room. I got out of the bed and pulled some clothes out of the drawers and went into the bathroom to shower for the first time in a while. I was going to go outside and actually socialize. I needed to go out and do something instead of sitting in my sadness. I didn't necessarily agree with what Josh was saying but maybe if I stopped moping I would feel better in general. I just needed to focus on me again.

Notes

I'm feeling Jack right now, like hardcore. So, I screwed up today and I just really feel how Jack is (not to that extent but still, I screwed up). Anyway, I wasn't supposed to have time to write this today but I couldn't keep my mouth shut so I've had plenty of time. I hope y'all enjoy this.

Title and opening lyrics credit: Every Lie - My Darkest Days