What Can I Say

It was noon, now all I had to do was sneak out. I went the way that Alex and I had always snuck out when we were tired of the halls and the classes. I don't know what I was expecting because I was somehow surprised when I saw Alex standing there, looking like he was waiting for someone. I tried to go without him noticing but he coughed, grabbing my attention.

"Hey Shayshay," he said.

"Hey Lex," I whispered, turning to him.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Uh, yeah, who are you waiting on?"

"Rian and Jack. We were gonna go jam. Do you want to come?"

"Am I welcome?"

"Yeah Shay. I was just upset when I said that once we broke up. Will we see you at Rian's?"

"Sure, I can drive you if you want."

"Uh, I guess, I'd still like to wait for them."

"That's fine."

I sat next to him in the window sill, pulling my knees up to my chest. I know Rian said I should talk to him but did this count? I had no idea on what to say to my former (?) best friend. I looked up as I heard footsteps. A laughing Jack and smiling Rian soon came into view. Rian shot me a glance between me and Alex. Jack's attitude changed drastically.

"What's she doing here," Jack asked.

"I asked if she wanted to come to band practice and she said sure. If she's gonna be lighting she needs to be there right," Alex said, standing up and walking away.

"Glad you talked to him," Rian whispered to me.

"He's riding with me. I didn't mention Trent either," I whispered back.

We walked out to the cars without any conversation between the four of us. Things were awkward now, it just felt awkward. I knew that I had screwed everything up because I decided to date Alex. It was all my fault that everything felt wrong, I was so stupid. I climbed into my car and opened Alex's door from the inside. He climbed in, his bag already in the backseat. The engine roared to life, something eliminating the silence. I cranked the Disturbed CD that was in my car.

"Shayley," Alex began, he only used my full name if something was serious, "I want things to be how they were. I don't want anything to be awkward. I want you in my life no matter what."

"I want that too Lex, that doesn't mean nothing will be awkward ever again though," I muttered.

"But there's a chance."

"Yeah, it's the same chance that it'll snow in Hell Alex. Things are always going to be awkward."

He groaned and leaned back against the seat until we got to Rian's, throwing himself a pity party the entire time. I had never wanted to hurt him but sometimes things you don't want happen anyway. I couldn't just ignore the awkwardness that was still going to be there because, well, there's nothing that could eliminate it.

Once we arrived he bolted out of the car into Rian's house. I walked with Rian and Jack who I knew were going to try to work with us to make things simpler but that was all they could attempt to do. I walked down to the basement where I heard a guitar already playing but I knew it was Zack and not Alex playing. I know that Zack likes to play guitar but enjoys bass just as much and he was equally as good at both.

I listened to the group warm up for a bit but was quickly pulled out by the sound of my phone going off. I excused myself to a closet that was secluded and you couldn't hear the music from the other side. I saw that it was Trent calling me which was so unusual.

"Hey is everything alright," I asked into the phone.

"Yeah, I need to ask you something and I don't know how you're going to react," he asked.

"Well, that doesn't comfort me. What is it?"

"Will you be mine again?"

Notes

Ohhhhhh, Trent is back!! What do you think Shay is going to say?

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Title credit: Too Many Words - Sick Puppies