I had been getting along fairly well with the band mates. They were treating me like family, and I couldn't have been happier. I was feeling so much better and free since leaving Cory, and at night, I was sleeping so much better. I slept in Alex's bunk most of the time, for I was never one who enjoyed sleeping alone. Speaking of Alex, he hadn't really left my sight since I got here. He was like a lost puppy following around a stranger. He would always have an arm around me, talk to me on a constant basis, and sometimes, he'd sing me to sleep. Alex had been doing so much for me, and I could sense he was feeling for something for me. I mean, come on -- who does all that for someone and doesn't have some type of feelings for them?

I understand that he's been hurting since Lisa left. He told me the stories sometimes, and I felt bad for him. I kinda could sense that, with me around, I was his sense of comfort. I was his security blanket. I didn't mind it, but sometimes it made me uncomfortable. Cory ruined my enjoyment of closeness; whenever he was close, I'd usually end up with bruises and cuts in the end. As a result, my hesitation to be close to Alex was high. I mean, yeah, he was Alex Gaskarth, but I didn’t know what he would do if I got too close to him while he’s still going through the break up. Again, another thing Cory ruined for me – my trust for anyone.

I had just gotten out of the shower when all the guys were gathered up in the lounge. I had really needed one due to all the stress I was feeling. I know that it had been a week since leaving, but that terror of what Cory might do if he, God forbid, found me was still lingering throughout me. When I got out of the bathroom, I heard Alex explain to the guys, Zack specifically, that I was in the shower and that I should be out soon. I smirked, perking in, “She just finished her shower and is now out here.” I saw Alex light up the minute he saw, and I couldn’t help but feel somersaults in my tummy. “Welcome back, boys. Have fun at the mall?” Instead of standing, I waltzed over and sat beside Alex on the couch. Jack was on the other side of the couch.

Jack proceeded to show us all a teddy bear he purchased at the mall, and he named the poor thing Dickhead. Thank God the bear wasn’t a real person because it would be in for a living hell with a name like that. I chuckled at the name, commenting, “Only you would name a teddy bear that, Jacky.” Yeah, I called him Jacky. Only a week being there earned me the privilege to Jacky – I was and still am honored. Sue me. At the corner of my eye, I could notice Alex staring me down. Correction: admiring me. I wouldn’t admit that I saw him, though; I’ll let him figure that out.

“So,” Rian began to speak for the first time of the night, “after tonight’s gig, we were planning on going to club to celebrate a little bit. You know, have a few drinks and party it out a little. Would you want to come along, Krys?” The mentioning of my name drew me to attention. Why would they want me to come along to their personal relaxation time? I didn’t want to intrude.

“M-Me?” I stammered, “But, I don’t want to bother you guys. This is you guys’ time to relax and have fun! I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t intrude at all!” Alex butted in. Jack, beside him, nodded quickly.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t intrude, Krys. I, and all of us, would definitely want you to come along. It’d be a lot of fun for you to join us.” Rian continued. I looked around the room to see everyone’s expressions towards Rian’s offer. Everyone was looking at me in hopes that I would be accept the offer – especially Alex, of course. I couldn’t say no to any of their faces; they just looked to excited to have me going with them. Sighing, I replied,

“Yes… of course, I will go with you guys.” Alex gasped and clapped his hands.

“Oh my gosh, yay! I am so glad you’re joining us, Krys!” Of course he was. He took his arms and wrapped them around mine tightly. I leaned into his loving embrace, and while in his arms, I scanned the room once again at the boys’ expressions. They all looked at us with these cheesy grins. I knew what that expression all too well thanks to Hailey when I was in high school. Whenever I would have a crush, and I would talk to them, she would have that same grin. I am assuming that they expected we had feelings for each other.

I would lying if I didn’t have a tiny amount of feelings for him. He was adorable, caring, and charming – the whole package, to be honest. Whenever I was around him, I would just feel so excited, and my anxiety would flare, but in a good way. My hands would rub together, and I would grasp my thighs in a suffocating grasp. When I did those things, you would know I was way too excited and giddy inside for a particular reason. However, although I have these tiny feelings for him, I would probably never act on them. I wouldn’t want to add fire to Cory’s rage, and I just didn’t feel comfortable being in a relationship with Alex. He was Alex Gaskarth – why would he want someone like me to call his?

Anyways, after a few seconds of hugging, I pulled away from the embrace. I stood up and brushed myself off, as if the hug got dust all over me. “Well,” I breathed out, “I’m going to go get ready, then. I’ll just meet you guys at the club when your show is over, alright?”

“Alright,” Jack agreed, “I’ll make sure to have Alex text you. We all know he likes texting you.” Once his last statement escaped his lips, Jack bounced his eyebrows. Alex gasped, turning around to slap Jack across the shoulder playfully.

“Jack!” he scolded. His scolding caused the others to irrupt in heavy laughter, and me, I just let out a soft chuckle. Alex turned around to face me again, and this time, his cheeks were a rosy red.

“I promise to text you after, okay? You know where the club is?”

“I do. I’ll see you guys later.” That’s all I said before going to the bathroom and shutting the door. I stood in front of the mirror and sighed. I rubbed my face and heaved,

“Krys, you’re a fucking mess.”

---

Alex: We’re at the club now, darling. I can’t wait to see you here xx

That was my cue. I put my phone in my hoodie pocket and waltzed to the bathroom to examine myself one more time before leaving. I looked in the mirror with a small smile. I put on my Green Day hoodie along with some blue skinny jeans. My hair was, now, in a French braid that ran down the center of my back. I didn’t put on any make-up because usually clubs are dark, so why waste my time? After I completed my glimpse, I shut the bathroom door and headed out the bus doors. I made sure they were locked before proceeding down the street to the club.

It was cold tonight, so my body trembled under my hoodie. My nose ached, and my lips got so chapped that the dry skin acted like a glue. Thankfully, the club was only about 10 minutes down the street, so I wouldn’t have to freeze outside long. I knew I had arrived at the club when a bright sign flashed the name, Rio Grande Zone. There was no line or anyone waiting outside the door, so I just
walked right in.

Upon walking in, I was hit in the face with the sound of yelling, laughing, music, and the stomping of feet. The aroma of smoke and alcohol beat the shit out of my nostrils. I had to push passed a crowd of rowdy dancers to be able to reach the bar. When I got to bar, I saw Alex just sitting at a bar stool. He had a margarita in hand, and he looked down. I walked over to him and put a hand on my shoulder. I scared him, for he jumped against my palm. He looked up at me and instantly grinned. “Krys, hey! You made it!”

“I did.” I said as I sat down. The bar tender noticed my attendance, and he asked me what I wanted to drink. “Jack and Coke, please.” He nodded and went to go prep my drink. I took the time alone, with Alex, to ask, “Alex, why aren’t you with the guys dancing and having fun?” My words caused Alex to frown and take a large swig of his drink.

“Just thinking, again. Lisa has been on my mind since the breakup, and it just keeps me from doing anything fun. I… I miss her too much.”

“Alex,” I put a hand back on his shoulder, “you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You have to keep your head held up high, and you have to be positive. Lisa doesn’t deserve you, alright? She gave up such a great guy; any girl would be so lucky to have you. I know leaving Cory was hard, but I’m not letting it get me down, Alex.” He looked up at me with a pathetic eyes. Before I could say anymore, the bar tender slid me my desired beverage. I nodded my head to thank him and allow him to continue his work. “Anyways, you got to let her go. You can’t keep having her bring you down. Have fun; express yourself as much as you can!” The last part was a bit dramatic, but it was the truth. He needed to stop this. Everyone hated seeing him so down – especially me. Alex smiled at me and nodded.

“You’re right. I need to express myself and let myself be happy.”

“That’s the spirit, Alex!” I cheered happily, patting his back.

“I know just how to start, too.” His voice, now, was softer, and he leaned closer to me. I looked at him strangely, pinching my brows together.

“Ho -- ?” Before I could get my question out, I felt Alex’s lips press against mine. My eyes widened, and I froze. The kiss was passionate, on his end anyway, and I could feel the tip of his tongue poke my lips to be granted access. I didn’t allow it; instead, I pulled back and stared him with the widest of eyes. He could see my terror, and he began to sputter out hundreds of apologize, but I didn’t listen. “I- I have to go, Alex. I just feel too tired to be here.” Without another word, I gathered myself and ran out of the club. I got as far as the end of the building and halted. I pressed myself against the brick wall and began to cry. Everything was hitting at once, and I was feeling like I was pulling hit by multiple trains at once.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

Notes

OH MY GOD KRYS UPDATED?!?!

my football game performance was cancelled due to rain, so i decided to update finally.

hope you enjoy <3

xoxo krys