We don't belong here

Jacks POV

It was Christmas day.
I wasn't feeling Christmasy at all.
I was still asleep but I could feel Alex messing with my hair.
I moved closer to him and sighed and went back into a deep sleep.

When I woke up I was alone in bed and in the room.
I sat up and looked round and slowly made my way out to the common room.
Alex was sat in the window.
I walked over and looked out.
There was a woman getting out the car.
"Who's that?" Alex asked quietly and looked at me.
"My mother." I said sadly and turned round and walked back into the room and shut the door behind me and sat on my bed with my back to the door.
"Jack your mother here to see you." A nurse said as she opened the door.
"I don't want to see her." I said quietly feeling hurt that it's taking her this long to visit me.
"Come on Jack, its Christmas she driven all this way to see you." She said.
"I don't care if its fucking Christmas, I don't care how far she has driven I don't want to see her!" I shouted.
"Okay." The nurse said quietly.

She left and Alex came in.
"Jack." He said quietly and climbed onto the bed with me.
"Hey." I said quietly.
"Don't shout at me okay, but I think you should see you mum." He said.
"But why now?" I asked.
"Which is why you should see her. She can answer your questions." He said.
"But I don't want to see her through."I said quietly.
" I know it hurts, but you go and see her and maybe she can explain why its taken her this long to see you. Maybe then it won't hurt so much." He said.
I looked at him.
"Hate it when your right." I said.
Alex looked at me confused.
"I'm never right." He muttered.
"Well you are now." I said and pulled him into a hug.

I got up and went out to the common room and she was stood there talking to the nurses.
"Jacky!" She said when she saw me and came over and pulled me into a hug which I didn't return.
"Alex why don't you come with us and you can play the guitar and give Jack and his mum some space." A nurse said and went over to Alex.
He smiled and nodded and walked towards the therapy room.
"Give us a shout if you want anything." She smiled and went off with Alex following.

We sat on the sofa in silence for ages.
"Why?" I asked and looked at her.
"Why what?" She asked confused.
"Why has it taken you nearly 4 months to come and see me?" I asked and got up and went and sat in the window.
"Jack we've been busy, we've moved away from everything to get a fresh start from everything." She said.
I looked at her.
"What you even talking about?" I asked confused.
"Jacky, we needed to get away. The stuff they where saying about you. We needed to move. So you can come back with me." She said.
I got out the window.
"What?" I said really quiet.
"Jack you coming home with me. You better..." She said but I stopped.
"I'm not going back with you." I said and moved away from her.
"Jack you are coming back with me today and your not going to argue about it." She said loudly.
"Have they even told you what's wrong with me and what I did the other day?" I asked.
"What happened the other day?" She asked softly.
"I cut myself." I spat.
"And a news fucking flash, I'm not better. I'm ill mum. You can't see that." I said.
"No your not Jack you fine and your coming home with me." She said and grabbed my arm but I snatched it away from her.
"Yes I am mother! I might not look like I'm ill but I am! I'm fucked in the head and you can't do fucking nothing about it! As for going back with you I'm not going. I have friends here, friends who actually understand me and not stab me in the back like those bastards back home. I'm staying here, walk the fuck out that fucking door and don't bother coming back!" I shouted.
A nurse came out.
"Is everything okay?" She asked.
"Yes sweetie I'm..." She said but I stopped her again.
"Get her out." I said quietly.
"Jacky don't do this.." Mum said softly but was stopped again by me.
"How fucking thick are you! Get the fuck out of here and don't come fucking back! I don't want to see you! You never bothered to fucking come and see me or even fucking call! You shut me out. Well now I'm going to shut you out." I shouted.

She looked like she was crying but I didn't care I was so angry I didn't care who I hurt in the progress.
"Mrs Barakat I think you should go." A nurse said.
"I'm not going without Jack." She said her voice breaking a little.
"Then I'm guess you gonna be hanging with the crazy people then. We're all fucking mad here." I said and started to laugh.
"You've drugged him up." She said looking at the nurses.
"Wrong mother, I'm ill and you can't expect that." I said and went to the chair and started to spin on it.
"Mrs Barakat, Jack has BPD." A nurse said.
"What's that?" She asked
"Borderline Personality Disorder." The nurse said softly.
"Told you I'm ill mother but you didn't listen. No one fucking listens." I said and threw the chair across the room.
"Mrs Barakat we'll talk about this in more detail in the office since this is stressing Jack out alot." The nurse said quietly.
She nodded and walked off.
"She's finally going." I said loudly and laughed again.

She went somewhere which wasn't out the exit.
Alex walked into the room with the guitar.
"Jack." He said as he walked to the common room.
"Leave me alone." I said quietly as I sat on the floor.
"Do you want to play the guitar?" He asked and sat next to me.
I nodded and he gave it too me.
"Don't break it though." He smiled.
"I won't." I whispered and quietly played it.
I heard a door open.
"It's better if you don't go to him, he's properly just started to calm down." A nurse said.
"I can't just leave him here." Mother sobbed.
"You can, as soon as you dumped me in that taxi you left me here." I said so she heard me.
"Mrs Barakat please. This isn't fair on him, you and the other patient here." The nurse said and dragged her away.
They where talking about something but I couldn't hear them.
Then the door shut.
I got up and stood by the window and watched her leave.

I looked down and handed Alex the guitar.
"I'm going to bed." I said quietly and slowly made my way to the room and shut the door.
I went over to my bed and lead down and looked out into space.
I heard the door open and shut and someone climbing onto my bed.
"You know the first step of getting out of here is accepting your ill." Alex said quietly and cuddled up behind me.
I rolled over and looked at him.
"I don't accept it though Alex. She needed to get it into her thick head that I'm ill." I said and felt myself slowly begining to cry.
"Don't cry okay." He said and wiped the tears away and pulled me closer to him.
"It's okay now. I'm here." He said softly.
"People think I'm crazy." I sniffed and ran my finger along his scar on his neck.
"The outside world do think we're crazy but we all accept that we're crazy here. It what makes us all get along. We're a family here, we all have our problems but we're here for each other and that includes you Jack." He said and kissed my forehead.
"I'll tell you something which I've done once before I was diagnosed with what I have wrong with me." He said and sat up.
I sat up as well.
"Don't laugh at me okay." He said with a smile.
"You know that with what I have wrong with me I behave like a Schizophrenic, well I was hallucinating and that and I thought that the only way I could get rid of this voice was to strip naked and run round my town naked until the cops arrested me and everything." He said with a smile.
I was trying not to laugh.
"Go on laugh it all out." He said and I just laughed.
"You see to them I was crazy but in here its just a funny story which can cheer someone up a little." He said softly.
I smiled.

"Come on go to sleep you looked bushed." He said and lead down and I followed his actions.
He moved the hair put of my eyes and looked at me.
I felt my eyes getting heavy.
"I'll be here when you wake up." Alex said and kissed my cheek and got comfy himself.
"Night Alex." I said quietly.
"Night Jack." He muttered and I was sound asleep not long after.

Notes