We don't belong here

Alex's POV

I couldn't cope with this whatsoever.
Esme was the reason why I wanted to get better now she's gone I didn't want to get better, I just wanted to die.
I knew Jack had a blade hiding under his bed since the nurses didn't check his stuff but always checked mine when in reality Jack was just as unstable as what I was but he was just better at hiding it.

I went over to his bed and lifted the mattress up and found a couple of blades stuck to the bed frame.
"Thought I was the sly one when it came to this." I said quietly to myself and got a blade and put his mattress back down and walked over to my bed and sat on it and mess with the blade between my fingers.
"Do I or don't I?" I asked myself and looked at my fingers and dragged the blade along my finger tips.
I looked at it and then looked at the wall.
I got off the bed and started writing anything which came to my head on the wall in my blood.
The blood soon dried up on my fingers so I cut the fingertips on my other hand and carried on what I was doing.
Soon I had no blood coming out my fingers.
"Well that's shit then." I said quietly to myself and looked at what was written on the wall.
I shook my head and sat on my bed and had my back to the wall.
I looked at my arms and legs since I was wearing a t-shirts and shorts for some reason.
"Too add or not to add." I said weighing my options out.
"Got nothing to live for, no one cares, even my own family don't visit anymore. Everyone fucking hates me don't see the fucking point living anymore." I said and started to cut my arms deeply and once I finished with my arms I moved to my legs and once I finished with my legs I moved to my stomach and chest.

I heard the door open.
"Get out!" I screamed.
"Alex?" Jack questioned.
"Leave me alone, can't I just die in peace." I said and started to cry.
"Don't leave me." Jack whispered.
"Why shouldn't I? All I do is bring trouble everyone says it. Everyone I care about leaves me anyway so ill be doing you a favor." I said quietly.
"But I'm not like everyone Alex." He said and moved closer.
"Don't come any closer otherwise I'll cut my throat and I'll make sure its deep enough to kill me this time round." I growled.
"Don't do that Alex." Jack said quietly.
"Why? Because no one will miss me. No one will cry because I am gone. I have no one anymore. I have no point of living anymore." I said quietly.
"You're wrong. I'll miss you, I'll cry if your gone. If you have no one why am I here? " He said and I could tell he was crying.
"Out of sympathy, that's why your here." I whispered.
"No its not. I am here because I care about you. You're my friend and the only person who I have ever called a friend. I'm here because I don't want to lose someone else who is in my life, I can't cope with the thought of you killing yourself and leaving me here on my own. Alex I need you." He said.
I didn't say anything.
"Alex please." Jack said desperately.
I turned round and looked at him.
"Alex what have you done?" He whispered.
"I want to be dead." I said quietly.
Jack rushed over to me and pulled me into a really big hug.
"Don't say that too me. Because if you go I'm dead as well." He said and I could feel his tears falling on top of my head.
"I don't want to be here Jack. It's selfish for me to stay alive when all I do is wish for death." I said.
"What about me? Who's going to be my friend? Who's going to be here for me? Who's going to wake me up climbing into bed?" He asked and looked at me.
"You'll make friends, your a likeable person. You'll find someone." I whispered and looked down .
He shook his head violently.
"No I won't." He said loudly and got off the bed and started to pace around the room.
"I need you Alex! You can't leave me! People have said to me that they wouldn't leave but they do Alex! They always leave me! I'm a horrible person." He said loudly.
I want to get up and hug him but I couldn't move.
"Come here Jack." I said quietly and looked at him.
He walked over and sat in front of me and look down.

I placed a finger under his chin and made him look at me.
"You're not horrible." I said quietly.
"Then why do you want to leave me?" He sniffed.
"I don't want t to leave you. I want to leave my life, leave everything which has happened to me behind." I said.
"But if you want to do that then you do want to leave me." He said quietly.
I moved and kissed him hard.
"I don't want to leave you." I whispered and looked him in the eye.
"But.." He started but I stopped him by kissing him again.
"Stop, I'm not going anywhere." I said and I started to feel really light headed.
"Get a nurse Jack." I said quietly as I fought the urge to sleep.
"Alex?" He said and I felt him push me back and look at me.
"Fuck, don't go to sleep." He said and rushed out the room.
Then the room went black.

Notes