We've seen it all before but this ones different, it's deliberate

"Easy does it, there's no rush" My Mum told me as she held out her arm. I clutched to it reluctantly as I gently swung my legs around and began lifting myself out of the car. After a week in hospital, I was finally home. I would have been overjoyed, I had been going crazy laying in that hospital bed… but I hadn't seen or heard from Alex in 4 days, the only contact I'd had with the outside world was through my Mother and Amy. The first thing I wanted was to see him, only him. But I had to stay away. It was going to be excruciating, but I needed to know what the hell was happening with Amy and Stanley and this was the only way. I had no idea what Alex had been up to, Amy was reluctant to talk about school and it wasn’t like I could ask her about him. If I was completely honest with myself, I still didn’t know who I could trust; but I knew how I felt about Alex. I replayed the last night we were together over and over in my head. When Amy visited me the morning after, I told her she had been right and Alex was no good for me, just like me and Alex had said. She tried to hide her smugness, but not hard enough. But I was just glad she had bought it. Mum slowly walked me to the front door, my legs were still pretty sore. She pushed the door open and led me inside, letting me collapse on the first couch I found. I pressed my shoulders into the soft leather with a sigh. My mother followed me through, leaning on the door frame with a smile. I looked back at her with a light frown, returning the smile weakly.

"What are you grinning at?" I asked quietly. She shrugged, leaning away from the doorframe and walking round the back of the couch. I felt her fingers run through my hair. "It's just good to have you home" She answered as she disappeared into the kitchen. I wished I could be happy to be home, but all that occupied my head was the thought of school the next day. It was bad enough dealing with the comments and the looks, but now people like Stanley had even more ammunition. I was sure the whole contents of my diary would be around school by now. And what was worse, Alex would be one of those people. On top of that I had to try and gain as much information about the 'accident' as possible without making Amy, or anyone else, suspicious. This was it.

The car turned the corner of the all too familiar street, my stomach twisted and churned. I tried to tell myself I was going to be okay, but I had never felt so vulnerable. As pathetic as it sounded, all the time I had spent laying in that hospital bed I had imagined coming back to school being easier. I imagined having Alex by my side. It was obvious he did not belong in Stanley's company. There was a side to him that I doubted many people had seen, maybe I was the only one. I wanted to get to know that side better. But I knew I would not see that side of him for a very long time, I feared I would never see it again. I took a deep breath in to steady myself as mum pulled up onto the curb outside the gates. Of course Amy was there waiting with a smile. It was hard to believe that someone with such a kind nature was capable of anything bad. But I couldn’t convince myself Alex was either.

"Okay, ready?" She turned round in her seat to look at me. She knew I didn’t want to be doing this. I had never told her how hellish school was for me, I didn’t want her to worry. But she knew I dreaded it. Maybe she thought it was just me being a teenager.

"As I'll ever be"

Walking through the school corridors was surreal. Clinging onto Amy's arm as my legs were still sore, people who had not even bothered to make eye contact with me before were shooting me smiles and looking at me with sympathy in their eyes. I tried to smile back, but my expression was just so awkward. I couldn’t get used to it. This was the last thing I had expected. As distracted as I was by this, I couldn’t help but sub consciously look for the face i wanted to see the most.

"We have English first, we'd better get you there early before the halls get too busy" Amy stated, snapping me out of my own thoughts. I nodded at her with a bewildered smile, she was probably right. English. The only lesson I had with Amy, Alex and Stanley. The thought of it set my heart hammering. I would have to sit next to Alex and pretend the past week had not happened, I fully expected him and Stanley to pick on me. I could take it from Stanley, but from Alex? Hell no, even if he didn’t mean it. The English room was empty as expected. Amy helped me to my table at the back and held onto me as I slowly lowered myself down into the chair. I thanked her with a smile, trying my best to hide the nervousness I felt. She dropped her bag down onto the table and sat down next to me in Alex's seat.

"What about Alex?" I asked her as cooly as possible.

"He's not been in for days. Anyway, I know you'd rather sit next to me" She smiled at me cheekily.

"Of course, I just meant for the project" I answered with a faked smile. Where had he been? He hadn't been to see me, hadn't been at school… where was he? I jumped out of my skin as the bell rang. Would he turn up? The classroom began to fill, the same sympathetic looks and smiles came my way. A familiar figure approached the back of the room and stopped in front of my table standing in front of me, I tensed up defensively.

"Alright Jack" I couldn’t believe it. It was hard to recognise his voice when it wasn’t laced with sarcasm.

"Stanley" I answered quietly, just waiting for an insult to be spat at me.

"What Alex did, it wasn’t cool. It's, uh… cool your not dead" I blinked at him, unable to move anything else of my shocked features. I just bobbed my head up and down weakly, shooting a bewildered glance at Amy sat at my side. He nodded, turning back towards his seat and sitting down. What the hell was going on?! The girls that had been sat in front of me the entire year turned in their seats and talked to me and Amy for the first time in the years I had known them.

"We're glad you're okay" One said, I believed her name was Kate. The rest of them eagerly nodded in agreement.

"No one can believe what happened!" Another, Livie, added.

"Yeah, I never thought Alex was capable of that. I mean it's not like anyone really knows him that well, but pushing you into the road… he could have killed you!" The world seemed to slow down for a split second. What did she just say? I clenched my jaw to stop it dropping wide open. I swept my eyes across the faces looking back at me, apparently this was not new to them. Amy's eyes dropped to the floor. How could this happen? Obviously if anyone had been there they would know the truth. But it seemed this was accepted as fact by everyone. I froze and tried to think of what to do, I couldn't sabotage the plan. What was left of it anyway, things had gotten even crazier. I just nodded weakly. Luckily everyone turned to face the front of the classroom as the teacher entered and I was able to relax the forced neutral expression on my face. The thought that Amy could have done this popped into my head, but that would be too obvious. She knew the truth and had told me she did, although I still did not know how she knew. I didn’t dare ask her. I was going to find out how myself, and uncover the truth about the rest too. She looked to the front of the class, I knew she was avoiding eye contact.

"Amy" I half hissed at her, my eyes were on the teacher, making sure I had not caught his attention. She reluctantly turned to face me with a conflicted expression, both innocent and guilty.

"Why does everyone think Alex pushed me?" Her face dropped subtly and she blew out a short sharp sigh.

"I don't know where it came from, but as soon as people found out Alex was there… I guess they put two and two together"

"But they are wrong, you know that-" She interrupted me.

"I know, I know. I promise you I didn’t encourage it"

"But you didn’t stop it either" I was sure she was absolutely loving every moment of Alex looking like a monster.

"No. But look, everyone is being nice to you and treating you the way you should be treated. And Alex… well what goes around comes around. You said it yourself, he's just no good"

"And what's with Stanley… why is he not being an asshole to me?"

"You know he's not such a bad guy, I'm starting to think Alex had to a lot to do with the way he treated you" I supressed a bewildered laugh. She couldn’t be serious… could she?

"And the fact he thought you were gay, but I set him straight. He knows your normal now" The last part of her sentence stung like acid in a wound. Apparently being gay was abnormal. She knew I was gay, I didn’t understand what she was talking about. I turned my body to face her in my seat.

"But Amy ...I am gay" I said slowly, watching every move on her face, trying to work out what the hell was going on in her head. She just shrugged her shoulders, almost completely disregarding what I had just said with a smile and turned back to the front of the class.

I should have just stayed at home.

Notes

First chapter ive posted in ages, hope you like it (: Let me know what you think of the story so far and what you think will happen next! Comment/rate/subscribe! Thankyouuuuuuu