I huffed, pushing the covers from my face. It was safe to say I wouldn’t be sleeping, there was just too much going on in my head, more than I ever thought humanly possible. Nothing was clear and I couldn’t do anything about it whilst I was stuck in here. My life had never been simple… but this? This was insane. My mother visited me just after Alex left. I think she could tell I was distracted by something, she kept asking me if I was okay. She eventually gave up and left. There was no way I was going to worry her with all of this. I wish I could. I wish I could talk to someone that wasn’t involved in all of this. There was nothing that either Amy or Alex had told me that I could completely trust, and to be honest I didn’t trust my own judgement of things anyway. I cared for them both and I knew that my feelings were blurring my perception of the situation. My heart told me that neither Alex or Amy would fuck with my head like this… but one of them was. I just had to work out who. There was just 10 minutes left of visiting time when a figure appeared at the door, looking awkward as always. "Alex" I couldn’t hide the surprise from my voice, I wasn’t expecting to see him so soon. "I, uh, thought you'd be asleep" His voice was husky and raw. He leant against the doorway, waiting for me to let him in. His stance was guarded, but his eyes were hopeful. "I guess not" I shrugged lightly. "Do you mind if I stay?" He shifted his weight between his feet, holding onto the doorframe with his hand. My answer in impulse would have been yes...always yes for Alex. But there was too much at risk here. "Only if you promise to be honest with me from now on. There's too much going on right now without you bullshitting me too… I still don’t know if I can trust you. Show me I can" I looked him squarely in the eye, telling him I meant it. "I swear" I nodded slowly, gesturing for him to come in. I watched as he crossed the room and lowered himself into the chair at my bedside. He sat there, just playing with his hands for a while. The soft lines between his full eyebrows made me think he was pondering something. "Have you never questioned how full on Amy is with you? Considering you two met less than a week ago, it's weird…" I immediately understood why he had to think about that. He knew I wouldn’t like it much. "We just get on. It's not like I've got any other friends to spend my time with is it" I answered plainly, dropping my eyes. I didn’t want him to think the last part was aimed at him, though it kinda was. "She's stuck up for me and been there for me more than anyone has in my life in the days I have known her" I was speaking the complete truth, no one has ever stuck by me once they realised what it meant for them, how undesirable as I friend I was. "You mean she's centred herself in everything that has happened recently" "I could say exactly the same thing about you" "I never planned to get involved" "So you never planned to corner Stanley in the gym changing rooms? You never planned to steal my things?" Alex's jaw dropped. "...You think that was me?! Jack even if I wanted to do that to Stanley...what makes you think I could intimidate him enough to have that effect on him? You really think I'm capable of that?" His eyes were burning mine again, but not in the same way as before. It was as if he was the one that didn’t understand me for once. "I don’t know. It seems like too much of a coincidence that you leave your Math class just before the end of lesson, before I found him like that" I shrugged, trying to ease the intensity. "What the hell are you talking about Jack?" "Amy sai-" Alex rolled his eyes and huffed, interrupting me. "Oh I should have guessed.." He was clearly annoyed, which in turn was annoying me. I thought we were going to be calm and honest with each other now. "What your saying she was lying about that too?" "Amy wasn’t even in that Maths lesson! How the hell would she know if I left! Which I didn’t." I cussed under my breath, running my hand across my forehead. Something else to add to the list of things from which I had to decipher the truth. This was getting to much. "If it wasn’t you...who was it?" "I don’t know" "What are we going to do about this?" I sighed, looking at Alex with tired and desperate eyes, I just wanted it to be over. Alex looked at me for a moment, his eyes narrowing subtly. "Do you trust me?" No sentence that started with 'do you trust me' has ever ended well. I nodded slowly. "We are going to play her at her own game" He spoke confidently. This was obviously something he had thought through. I waited for him to explain. "When Amy comes to see you tomorrow, you tell her that you don’t want to see me anymore, nothing too intense or she'll ask questions" I nodded, waiting for him to carry on. "You go back to being Amy's friend and I'll go back to being Stanley's. It’s the best way to find out what's really going on" If I agreed to do what Alex said, I would be choosing to believe him over Amy… it was a decision I couldn’t back out of. I stared back at him, searching his eyes. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for exactly...a sign, anything that would make this decision easier. The green flecks caught in the melted brown that were his eyes stood out more than ever. His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked delicately, I’d never noticed how long they were before… I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that someone with such innocence would do something so harmful. I nodded slowly. "I'll do it" The words weighed heavily in the air, sealing my future. I didn’t know how, but I knew they would determine what was going to happen to me. He nodded slowly back at me, exhaling almost in relief. "This means I cant see you like I have been" Alex's eyes scanned over my features, waiting for my reaction. Just as I was about to answer, footsteps echoed through the hall outside. "Looks like the nurse has come to kick you out" "Too bad, I'm not ready to go" Alex shot up out of his seat and got onto his hands and knees. "What are you doing!" I spat in a hushed voice as I watched him crawl under the bed, my head shot up as the door opened and the nurse entered. I smiled at her in the most natural way possible, apparently it worked. She checked the machinery and wished me goodnight, closing the door behind her. I sighed heavily with relief. "You are, something else" I said breathily, running a hand through my hair. Alex pulled himself from under the bed, his head popping up by the side of me. The devilish smirk that spread across his face made my heart stop. I wasn’t used to him showing me emotion, he was always so...guarded. Alex stared back at me with warm eyes, eyes that make it impossible to believe he would hurt anyone. He rose onto his feet and sat back down onto his chair. I stared at him and waited for him to explain himself. It took him a while to pick up on it, he looked a little embarrassed that he hadn't realised sooner. He hid his hands in his lap and shrugged lightly. His eyes dropped my gaze, leaving them feeling cold. "I guessed you might want some company tonight" He spoke quietly and quickly, only looking up to check my expression once. Again, I stared at him, unsure on what to say. Even after everything, I still didn’t know where the boundaries in our friendship were. He never failed to surprise me, do the opposite to what I expected. Alex had continued seeing me for far longer than I ever thought he would, it had past the point of him visiting me because he had to….he wanted to. He didn’t have to involve himself in this mess...but he had. Alex looked more and more uncomfortable as the seconds of silence drew on. He dug his fingers into the cushion of the chair, his eyes still flicking between me and the floor. "It was only an idea… you know what it seems like a dumb idea now I think about it, I'll just g--" I interrupted him, half screaming and making his shoulders jump lightly. "No!...no. Stay. I don’t like it in here...its lonely" I was surprised at my own honesty. The walls were definitely on their way down. "I know what you mean," He broke his eyes from mine and swept them across the dismal room we were in. The only noises to be heard were the buzzing of machines and our own voices. ", I've never liked hospitals much either. But I guess you don’t have to be alone now" He turned back to look at me, the same warm eyes burning into mine. The corners of my mouth lifted in a shy smile of thanks, it was all I could manage. I felt like my brains were being melted from his stare. His cheeks lifted in return, revealing the cutest pair of dimples I had ever seen. "How are you going to get out of here, you'll never leave without being spotted" "I'll leave in the morning, when visiting hours are open again" "...Your staying all night?" "If that's okay" "Well, you will never sleep on that" I shuffled across the bed, making as much room as possible. I patted the blanket, telling him to come on up. "And you will never sleep if I lie there" "I'll be fi-" "Jack no. What if I bump your legs in the night or something? I'm fine down here, honestly" "Okay" I felt Alex lay his head onto the bed, I resisted the urge to run my hand through his hair… it was like resisting the impulse to breath, he was so close to me and I couldn’t take it. The sun beat down on my back as I stood on a familiar pavement, unsure of why I was there. My legs felt heavy as I slowly wondered forward. I could see the heat rising from the concrete. A figure appeared in the distance, curled up in the road. As I got closer, something began to hum in my ears. I knew it was familiar to me...but I just couldn’t place the noise. It got louder and louder as I walked further down the path. The figure became more defined, clear enough for me to see who it was. Alex. I instinctively began to walk faster, I needed to get to him. By this time the buzzing noise was unbearably loud, it wasn’t in my ears anymore. It was in my head, vibrating through my chest. I picked up the pace, breaking into a slow run. But as I sped up, he got further away. As I sped up, the buzzing closed in on me. Then I spot something in the corner of my eye. A car… heading straight for Alex. I'm screaming, telling him to move. I break into a sprint but the end of the pavement moves further and further away. I can hear him saying my name. I scream once more, the car is too close for me to do anything now. I can barely hear myself over the noise. The car hits Alex, sending his body towards me and knocking me to the floor. "Jack?!" Alex suddenly appeared in front of me, my hands tightly gripping his shoulders. His eyes are wide with panic and concern, his hands on the side of my face as I struggle to open my chest enough to breathe. "Jack look at me. You need to relax, copy me" I watched him as he took a deep breath in, I copied him the best I could. I exhaled shakily and inhaled again. Slowly I calmed down, realising I was dreaming. Alex was laying next me, his hands didn’t move from my face and his eyes didn’t leave mine, monitoring my every expression and every move on my face. As my breathing slowed, the panic drained from his eyes, replaced by the warmness that I loved. My panic was replaced by deep embarrassment. I scraped my teeth across my bottom lip and tried my best not to tear up… but it happened anyway. Alex sighed gently and shuffled close enough for me to bury my face in his chest. He hesitantly wound his arms around my waist. "You were screaming in your sleep" He spoke softly into my hair, his breath left goosebumps on my neck. "Sorry" I croaked. "What are you apologizing for? I'm not surprised… the amount of shit that must be going through your head at the moment" "Do you wanna talk about it?" I gently shook my head. I wasn’t ready for that yet, I knew if I started to think about it too much or talk about it I would cry again. He nodded. I closed my eyes and moved closer to him. I knew how tough tomorrow was going to be I just wanted to enjoy this while it lasted. I let my exhaustion take over and accepted the darkness. I would deal with tomorrow when it came.

Notes

Hey guys! I was going to progress the story a little further than this, but to do it properly im gunna have to drag it out a bit more, sorry! :P Let me know what you think, comments would be lovely, i love hearing from you (: Comment, rate and subscribe! Much love XXXX