"If I haven't told anyone, and you didn’t tell her... how the hell does Amy know what happened?"

I stared back at Alex, unable to find the words to use. I couldn’t answer him.
"What are you trying to say?" I finally managed.
"...I don’t know"
"You must have said something to someone. A friend? Your parents?" He was shaking his head before I finished my sentence
"I'm certain I didn’t, I didn’t want anyone to know… I still don’t want anyone to know"
"You don’t want to be associated with me you mean" I said quietly. I understood why. He would get the same torment as I did at school if he started to hang around me. I just wished that if he didn’t want to be seen with me, he would just leave me alone. I couldn’t deal with being friends in secret. Alex surprised me, his voice was pitched with anger.
"Why do you always say stuff like that? What do you think I am?" He snapped.
"Because its true. And I don’t know what you are...you confuse me"
He just dropped his eyes, playing with the hem of his shirt. I stared at him, waiting for him to look back up. He sighed, running his hand through his hair. I watched him as he walked across the room, still avoiding my eye contact. He folded himself down into the chair next to my bed.
"I've not said anything to anyone. I swear." He said, raising his eyes back to mine. The sincerity in his eyes and his voice was clear, but there was still a sense of conflict within him. There always was. As much as I could never understand him, part of me thought that he rarely understood himself. I slowly nodded, my mind racing as I tried to work out how Amy knew about this.
"Whatever the reason is, she lied about it. Doesn’t that worry you?" He said. I hadn't thought about it like that. I couldn’t see any reason why she would feel the need to lie about this. Maybe she wasn’t the one lying...Alex continued when I didn’t answer.
"It worries me. Why wouldn’t she tell the truth… I don’t know if I trust her"
"What are you trying to say Alex?" I said in disbelief, a harsh edge tainted my voice as I felt the need to defend her. Alex sunk back into the chair subtly, his eyes widened and his shoulders tensed up. He obviously realised how narrow the line he was treading was. Amy was my only true friend, of course I was going to defend her. He couldn’t talk about trust anyway, he had spread stuff around school about me and was friends with the guy that had tormented me most of my life.
"If neither of us told her, the only way she could know what happened is if she spoke to someone who was there… or was there herself" He said carefully.
"That's insane" I said, shaking my head slowly. "There is no way she would see that happen to me and leave me in the road"
"Okay, so maybe she's spoken to someone who was there"
"Did you see anyone else around? Because I didn’t" Alex didn’t answer me. He dropped his eyes to the floor and began nibbling his bottom lip. I had been around him long enough now to know he was nervous about something.
"Alex what is it" I sighed. I didn’t really want his company right now, I wanted him to spit it out.
"… I didn’t mean on the street"
"In the car?! How the hell would Amy know who was in the car?" He went quiet again but kept his pained eyes on mine, he looked uncomfortable.
"Alex! Spit it out!" I snapped.
"She's been speaking to him, to Stanley. I saw her." Alex snapped right back.
"What the hell-" I tried to speak, but Alex interrupted me.
"Jack please. Just listen to what I have to say, okay?" He looked at me pleadingly.
"I went into school early this morning, thinking if I completed the work I had to do in my free this afternoon I could come see you earlier," Even though I was unsure what to think of Alex, if I could trust him, I couldn’t help the warm flutter I felt.
"I parked round the back and as I approached the back entrance, I spotted them. I couldn’t believe it. I stopped where I was and hid behind a car close to me, just watching them. I wish I could of heard what they were saying. The talk didn’t last long, a minute at most. They separated and walked in opposite directions. I wouldn’t have thought much of it, but the way they were with each other… They weren't being friendly, it was almost like they were talking about business" Alex stared at me, assessing the every move on my face. My mouth trembled, I couldn’t find the words. My eyes searched his trying to work out if he was telling me the truth. I wanted him to be telling the truth and I hated myself for it.
"What has that got to do with the crash?" I asked, my head pounding.
"Don't you think it’s weird timing? The day Stanley goes crazy is the day you get hit by a car. Then I see Amy talking to him right before she comes to see you…that’s not a coincidence" I was quiet for a moment, taking it in.
"… You think Stanley did this?" Alex looked at me with soft eyes and nodded once. It was no secret that he hated my guts, but I never thought he would ever go that far. I huffed, shaking my head.
"What the hell is going on" My eyes began to sting, it was getting too much. I didn’t know what to think, who to trust. I went to wipe my face, but someone else's hand beat me to it. Alex gently caught my tears before they streaked down my face, he looked at me with guilt ridden eyes. I wondered what exactly he was feeling guilty about. He shuffled forward and sat awkwardly on the very edge of his seat for a moment, before standing up. I stared at him questionably. I opened my mouth to speak when he leant forward, slipping his arms under mine and pulling me into him… He was hugging me. I placed my hands on his back, unsure on how to react. When he didn’t move I pulled him in closer, nuzzling into gap between his neck and shoulder. I savoured every moment, breathing in his smell, making sure I remembered the feel of his skin on mine. He was so unpredictable, I knew there was a chance we would never be this close again. As I nuzzled closer to him, I felt something cold against my cheek. I pulled away slightly to see what it was… and recognised it instantly. I dropped my arms, pulling his shirt away from his neck to get a better look at it.
"Is that my chain?" I asked in disbelief. Alex froze, the shock and fear in his expression told me it was. I sunk back into my bed. I hadnt even noticed it was missing, he must have taken it the day he 'helped' me after gym. How could he? How did he have the ordassity to wear it to the hospital when he knew he was seeing me? If he could of taken that, there was no doubt in my mind that he had taken my diary too. I didn’t even want it back I just wanted him away from me.
"Go" I said stiffly. Alex stood by the bed, shifting his weight between his feet awkwardly.
"Jack I can exp-" He spoke urgently, but I interrupted him.
"I don’t want to hear it" I had had enough of being lied to. I wasn’t angry, I was too exhausted for that. I was just sad.
"I know how this looks but its not what you think, I swear" It was the most agitated I had seen him since the last moments before the crash.
"Just leave Alex!!" I was crying now, properly. Tears were streaming down my face and my nose was running.
"Jack…" Alex stepped forward with pained eyes, putting his hand on mine. I quickly batted it away. I could feel his eyes on me, but I wouldn’t meet them. He stood there for a while before walking slowly to the door. He hesitated, stood in the doorway. He ran a hand through the back of his hair once and dropped his head, sighing.
"Your right… I took it, and I shouldn’t of"
"Then why did you?" I asked quietly, not really interested in what he had to say. At least he was being honest.
"I...I don’t know" I huffed in complaint.
"Do you know how fucking hard it is to keep up with you? To work you out? Just be honest for once! If you cant be, then leave… and don’t come back"
"I am being honest… I don’t know why, I just wanted to have it with me"
"Why, can't you buy your own jewellery?"
"I didn’t want it because it's a necklace, I wanted it because it's yours. I feel a little more relaxed with it on… I worry less about you. I guess I feel closer to you" I lifted my eyes to meet his, unsure what to think. He stared back at me, not able to keep constant eye contact. His eyes flicked between his feet and me. Before I could say anything, he turned around and left. I sat there in shock, watching the door swing on its hinges. My mind was a mess, I didn’t know who to trust or what to believe. But there was one thing I was sure of, certain of.

I was in love with Alex. There was nothing I could do about it.... and I didnt want to.

Notes

Hey Guys! Today is literally the first time I have been on her since I last updated like a month ago, I have been so busy. It was so awesome to see that the views had gone up so much and still had new subscribers and comments on this story when I logged on, thankyou guys so much! I really hope your enjoying this, let me know what you think of the new chapter too, things are a bit confusing atm I know, but all will be clear soon I promise ;)
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