Can't Help Who I Fall For

I must’ve spent an hour gagging my insides out over the toilet before Jack pressed a kiss to the top of my head and muttered about getting me something to drink. My throat felt like a desert, both my heart and my head were pounding, my skin was drenched in a cold sweat (everything but my boxers had been discarded of when I began to feel overheated, and I didn’t have the energy to pull it all back on), and my stomach was still doing ridiculous somersaults. I didn’t even have anything left in me; all I could do was dry heave and hope that a lung didn’t start to work its way up.

It was longer than I expected it to be before I heard the door open once more. I turned slightly, expecting to see my boyfriend with a glass in his hands, but was instead met with Joyce herself.

We both stared at each other, frozen in place. She looked confused and surprised, as though she wasn’t sure which emotion she should feel more of at the sight of me.

“Alex, I didn’t know you were, um... sweetie, are you... how long have you been... where’s Jack?” she stuttered, eyes glancing down at my (very little) attire before looking back up to my face. A blush overran her cheeks, and under any other set of circumstances, I probably would’ve laughed.

Instead, I groaned and leaned back over the toilet bowl to once again retch. Thankfully, that was about when Jack made his reappearance.

“He was h-here all n-night, mum. I s-should’ve told you, but, um... w-well, he, uh... we know he’s n-not allowed here after, l-l-like, eleven because he’s my b-boyfriend and everything, but last night w-was... um...”

“I got really drunk,” I supplied. My voice echoed around my head, and the sound just made the headache even worse. “I don’t remember much, but I’m sorry.”

“I can see that,” Joyce said. She didn’t sound too disapproving, but I could’ve been hearing her tone incorrectly. “Just... I don’t want to be too lenient with you two, but don’t let it happen again, alright? Had you told me the situation, I would’ve understood, Jack. Which one of you drove home?”

“I did,” Jack said. I could hear footsteps before a cool hand was pressing against my back gently. “We s-shared my bed. He had a-a-all his clothes on b-because I couldn’t g-get them off, a-and he was p-pretty much a-asleep before we even got h-halfway here. I h-had to c-carry him ups-stairs.”

Joyce was quiet for a few moments before she sighed. “Since you’re not also throwing up and you don’t look hungover, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt just this once,” she said, clearly directing her statement toward Jack. “Don’t think that means you’re off the hook. We’re still going to have a serious talk about this later.”

Neither said anything before there was another sigh and the sound of the bathroom door closing once more. I heard the clink of a glass being set onto a tile near me before the shuffling of Jack’s sweatpants brushing against the ground followed. Next, two cool hands pressed gently against the center of my back, followed by a warm kiss to the side of my neck.

“Do you n-need me to get you anything else? There’s p-p-probably some Tylenol in here, or Advil if that works-s better for you. Some c-crackers or toast might help, too,” he said quietly, lips brushing gently against the top of my back.

“Angel?” I coughed out, yet another cringe wracking my spine at the sound and the smell and the... ugh.

“Do y-you need me to g-get you something-g?” he rushed out. His grip on my shoulders tightened before he was pushing himself to his feet once more. Or, at least, he attempted to, but I reached around to grip at his thigh and held him in place before he could get more than a few inches off the ground.

“I need you to relax before you worry yourself sick, too. Everything’s gonna be fine, baby. Calm down, angel. Now, take some deep breaths and cuddle me for a bit because I’m cold as hell,” I instructed weakly. There was a quiet sigh in response before he got himself comfortable behind me once more. His legs bracketed my own and his chest pressed against my back. His arms had just wrapped around my waist when he jumped and moved away a bit.

“You’re ph-phone went off when I w-was coming back up. I grabbed it on m-my way back in. I d-don’t know if you w-wanna read it now or not, b-but—”

“Why didn’t you just read it?” I questioned back just as another rough cough tore from my burning, abused throat.

“Because I-I figured you wouldn’t want me t-t—”

“I have nothing to hide from you,” I vowed. “What’s it say? Who’s it from?”

There was the quiet sound of Jack clearing his throat, followed by the sound of his thumb tapping against my phone’s screen before he answered with, “It’s an e-mail from… from the principle. Do you still want me to—”

“Yeah, yes, read it,” I said. His right hand slipped back around my waist, pulling our bodies together, before he began to read off what had been written. Well… not totally, but it was enough for me to get the gist.

“She said that this is a very serious matter, that she’ll need to look into it more before she can move on with the consequences, and that she’ll need to speak to you, me, and everyone else involved once school starts back up next week,” he summarized. A kiss was pressed to the back of my neck as he set my phone onto the tile near the untouched glass of water. “Do you want me to send a reply?”

“No, just… we’ll find out more next week, right? Do you think you could help me back to your bed now? I don’t think I’ve got anything left, and I’m still exhausted. Nap with me for a bit. I need lots of kisses and cuddles.” I leaned back into his chest and turned to face him from where my head was resting against his shoulder. Within seconds, he was going from sympathetic to disgusted.

“I’ll help you back to bed and give you as many kisses and cuddles as you want, but first you gotta clean up some. Mouthwash is under the sink, alright? I’ll bring everything back into my room. If you need anything, just call for me. Do you want me to grab you some sweatpants or a shirt?”

“Just help me up and go get in the bed.” Jack didn’t argue as his hands reached out to curl around my upper arms, nor as he tugged me to my feet. I felt bad, knowing that he’d had carry me not once, but twice in a matter of hours, but the sudden onset of dizziness that swept over me kept me from apologizing.

“Take your time, okay?” Jack said after he’d helped me get steady on my feet. “I’ll come back in and clean up in here once all your shit’s back in my room. Be back in one minute. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” I called back. It sounded too weak, but I chose to ignore it and, instead, begin wiping my face off with some paper towels. I looked much worse than I would’ve thought, honestly. There were bags under my eyes, my hair was a wreck, my skin was pale, and I looked thinner than ever before. Really, I guess I didn’t look any worse than I felt.

Oddly enough, that was somewhat comforting.

By the time I’d finally gotten over my inspection and found the mouthwash, Jack was making a reappearance. He took a moment to smile at my reflection and ruffle my sweat-slicked hair before putting on his brave face and heading toward the toilet.

He wiped it down as I watched and rinsed my mouth out (a grand total of three… four times). It was kind of cute, the way he cringed, but I definitely understood and felt terrible about it. He was far too good for me.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered into his neck as we walked down the hallway together. He was supporting most of my weight as we limped along. “None of my other relationships ever helped me out when I was sick. They’d usually run for the hills and tell me to call them when I was better.”

Jack laughed as we reached his door. “Well, to be fair, you’re not so much as sick as just severely hungover, and you’ll start feeling better hopefully within the next few hours or so. Let this be a lesson, yeah? No more drinking so much. Next time I won’t be so loving about it. We clear?”

He let me fall headfirst less than gracefully onto his bed before I was able to answer. When I had finally rolled myself over to see him, he was looking down at me expectantly. I could tell that he wasn’t being completely serious, but I still mumbled back a, “Loud and clear,” before opening up my arms to say, “Now come here, beautiful.”

“You’re the weirdest hungover person I’ve ever met,” he said with a laugh as he laid down on the bed and snuggled into my arms. “Shouldn’t I be the one to cuddle you? Shouldn’t you be, like, demanding food or something? I heard greasy is good for stuff like this. I can make a trip down to—”

“No, Jay, stop,” I whined, pulling him closer. “This is the first official cuddle of the New Year, an—”

“Alex? You okay?” he asked after a few moments, sounding rather timid. “Do you need me to get you anything?”

I shook my head and leaned away to catch his gaze. “Last night,” I started, trailing out after a moment to think over my words a bit, “did we, uh… what time did… did we get to…”

“Get to what, babe?” he questioned, quiet and patient.

I sighed. “Well, I mean, last night was New Years, and… y’know… people kiss at midnight, and it was our first together, and it’s… it’s kinda an important milestone in relationships, y’know?”

The stare I was met with in response was blank for just a moment until he started to laugh. “Why does it matter? The first kiss was an important one, sure, but after that, it’s not even important.”

“It is important!” I stressed. “I’m sorry I got so drunk, and I’m sorry I made you miss it, and I’m sorry that instead of kissing you, I was off kissing someone else. I’m a shitty boyfriend, and I’m sorry.” When a pout began to tug at the corners of my mouth, Jack leaned in to kiss it away.

“It’s not important, and you’re not a shitty boyfriend,” he retorted, smile still stretching across his face. “Maybe for some people it is, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. We’re a couple; we can kiss whenever we want. We could kiss at every midnight if we wanted to. I mean, we couldn’t because of curfew and everything, but it’s the thought that counts.

“Besides, there’ll be more New Years to come. New Years, Valentine’s Day, Easter, and all kinds of different holidays. We’ve got lots of time and lots of kisses to go yet, my dear. Don’t worry about it.”

“Too damn good for me,” was all I could bring myself to mutter back. With a kiss to his forehead, I was once again pulling him into my chest and burying my face in his hair. “Love you so much, baby.”

“Love you, too…” he trailed out. A kiss was pressed to my bare chest before he let out a quiet laugh and whispered, “Idiot.”

Notes

there's only one more chp already prewritten
gonna have to write smth soon
but i think i wanna write smth for daddy next so maybe that'll be up tonight idk i'm exhausted and i have work in the morning so idk maybe tomorrow