Like I had predicted, Alex passed out on the drive back to my house. I honestly couldn’t believe stuff like this kept happening to us. Will we ever catch a break?

I guess it was kind of my fault. I didn’t realize how much Alex had had to drink. I wouldn’t have left him alone if I’d known how vulnerable he was. It’s so fucked up. Why can’t we just have one night where everything’s okay?

Getting Alex into the house proved to be a bigger challenge than I thought. I originally tried to wake him up, but it didn’t take much time for me to realize that he was down for the count. There was no way I was getting him up anytime soon. I pondered how bad it would look for me to carry him inside. My mom’s car was in the driveway, so I knew she was home, but since it was inching past one in the morning, it was possible that she’d already be in bed.

I knew that my mom’s reaction would probably be a little better than if I had driven him back to his house, and at least that way I’d be here when he wakes up the next day. I wasn’t sure if he was going to remember what happened, but if he did, I knew he’d be confused. And if not… well, that’s a bridge I’ll cross when I reach it.

I’m not going to lie, Alex is a lot heavier than he looks. Or maybe it’s the fact that my arms are about as useful as wet noodles. Either way, I struggled getting him into the house. I could hear the television playing in the living room, but I knew I probably could get Alex upstairs without her knowing if I was quiet. It would be a bitch to explain in the morning, but I’d rather do it then.

“Jack? Honey, is that you?” mom called from the living room.

“Um—yeah!” I yelled back, bolting up the stairs. “I’m really tired, so I’m just gonna go straight to bed!”

“Okay, baby, see you in the morning!”

I breathed a sigh of relief. The only good thing about her recent emotional detachment is that it made it easier for me to sneak my drunk boyfriend inside. I internally cringed at myself for thinking that.

Inside my room with the door shut behind me, I set Alex down on the bed and began to take off his shoes. I pondered whether or not I should undress him more, but decided against it after I had enough trouble taking off just his shoes. It was actually really hard maneuvering a limp body. In the end, I tucked him in my bed as well as I could before crawling in beside him.

I knew that tomorrow’s conversation would be really awkward and really hard for the both of us. I almost didn’t want to go to sleep so I could put it off a little more. Maybe if Alex woke up before me he’d realize that I had snuck him up and leave. Okay, that’s a little bit of a stretch, but I really don’t want to talk about this.

I leaned over and kissed Alex’s cheek, whispering, “Love you,” before rolling over to try to get some sleep.

---

Alex didn’t wake up before me. No, he was still dead to the world when I woke up. I was a little concerned that he hadn’t seemed to have moved at all since I laid him down. If he weren’t snoring slightly, I’d be concerned that he was actually dead.

I sat up and stretched my arms out before reaching over and carding my fingers through his hair. I smiled when he leaned slightly into my hand. He just looked so peaceful when he was asleep; so innocent-looking. I knew that everything that had happened in the last couple of months had been hard on him, and it was so nice to see him look even slightly relaxed in his sleep. He was calmer than he had been in months. I knew we still had a long way to go before things can go back to normal, but I looked forward to the day when he’d look this relaxed awake.

His face started to stir and his eyes scrunched up. I smiled to myself and ran my hand down the side of his face. “Wake up, gorgeous.”

He let out a soft groan before covering his face with his hands. “Egh, go away.”

I chuckled softly and tugged at his hands. “No. Time to see the sun.”

“What if I don’t wanna?” he asked, voice groggy, hands still covering face.

“Well, that’s too bad then,” I smirked, “because the sun wants to see you.” I gave his hands one final tug that caused them to come flying down.

Alex groaned in protest. “I think I actually hate you.”

“Are you sure about that?” I asked. “’Cause I don’t think you do.”

“Well, my head hurts like a bitch and you’re forcing me to be awake,” he concluded, “so yeah, I hate you. You’re not allowed to protest.”

I smiled down at him in silence. If only our life could be as carefree as it was right then. It’s so nice to be able to have easy, lighthearted conversations like that with my boyfriend. There’s nothing more I’d like than to be able to laugh again without worrying about what’s coming next. Just that instant, even though I was joking around with Alex, there was still the little voice in the back of my head that kept reminding me that I’d have to eventually tell Alex about what happened. It’s like everything we do now a days is tainted.

“Jack?” Alex asked, breaking the momentary silence. “What happened last night? I only remember some hardcore making out before it gets kinda weird.”

“Define weird.” I raised my eyebrows. I wasn’t sure if he meant ‘getting sexually assaulted by someone he thought was me’ weird or something else.

“Well,” he sat up slowly, kneading his temples, “you were there, and so were Franceschi and Merrick. And, this is where it gets kind of weird, there were two of you. How much alcohol did I have?”

“A lot.” I shrugged. “More than I thought when I left you alone to go to the bathroom…”

“Oh…” I could hear him gulp. “The you in Ramsay’s bedroom wasn’t you then, was it?”

I reached over and grabbed his hand. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Oh, fuck.” His face paled. “Jack, move.”

“What?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“Move,” he tried to climb over me and out of the bed, but ended up almost falling. I grabbed his arm to help steady him while he tried to stand up. After he was standing, I retracted my arm and watched him book it towards the door.

“Are you okay?” I asked, but I don’t think he heard me because he was already out of the room. “Alex?”

I sighed before getting up and going after him. It wasn’t hard to find him, considering I could hear his retching coming from the bathroom. I opened the door slowly to see him kneeling in front of the toilet, torso heaving. I kneeled down next to him and rubbed his back, careful not to look at the mess in the toilet. The smell was bad enough, but if I actually saw it… he wouldn’t be the only sick one.

After a while, the heaving stopped and the only sound I heard was Alex panting. I moved my hand from his back, up to rub his shoulders. I didn’t say anything, and neither did he.

The silence lasted for a while before Alex finally spoke up again. “Are you mad?”

“What?” I was surprised that he even asked. “No! Why would I be?”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” he asked, looking up at me. “Jack, I was with someone who wasn’t you.”

His voice sounded off, and I couldn’t tell why. I knew how he sounded when he was upset or scared, but this was completely different and not like an ‘I just puked my guts up’ kind of tone. It almost sounded as if he were giving up. As if he were defeated.

“Lex, you thought it was me,” I explained gently, brushing a piece of hair from his face. “You were genuinely confused when we all came in and you saw the real me. If you would’ve known, you would’ve said no.”

“But I didn’t say no!” he exclaimed. Again, his voice sounded weird. “Fuck, Jack, someone who wasn’t you kissed me and touched me, and I just let him! How are you okay with this?”

“Because I know you,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. “And you may be a lot of things, but you, Alex Gaskarth, are not a cheater.”

He laid his head on my shoulder and put his hand on my thigh. “You’re too good to me,” he whispered. “If I would’ve seen you with someone else, conscious consent or not, my first instinct would be to get angry. How does this not upset you?”

“I am upset, pumpkin,” I admit, “but not at you. It’s not your fault. When Franceschi found me and told me he saw you go upstairs with someone else, I felt every negative emotion in the book, but when we went up there, we could hear him talking to you, and that’s when I knew it wasn’t your fault. That you’d never be with him by choice.”

He tensed up in my arms. “Jack?” he asked. His breathing started to speed up. “It wasn’t just some random guy, was it?”

I shook my head solemnly. “No, it wasn’t…”

“Please, don’t tell me it was…” he started, leaning over the toilet to retch again. “Oh, God.”

“Angel…” I rubbed his back again.

Once he was done, he looked up at me again with watery eyes. “I don’t want to know. Please, don’t say it.”

“I don’t think—”

“Pumpkin, you don’t understand,” he cut me off, voice stern. “If you say his name to me right now everything is going to be ruined. I’m just starting to get over what happened at the football game. I don’t think I can handle anything else.”

“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly.

He nodded. “Please.”

I sighed. “Okay. As much as I think this is a bad idea, if you don’t want to know, I won’t tell you.”

“Thank you, Jay. I love you.” He leaned up to kiss my chin.

I smiled halfheartedly, having to stop myself from cringing and throwing up at the feel of how wet his lips were. “I love you, too.”

I really didn’t know if it was a good idea for Alex to be regressing it so much, but it wasn’t really my place to make a decision. No matter how I felt about it, it was my job to make him happy, and if not hearing about everything does that, then so be it.

Notes

i have decided to put my mpreg on here too
i'm gonna try and post just one chp a day so we'll see how well that works out
i think there are 36 chps on that?? yee ok