It didn't take long for Alex to fall asleep. I guess I wasn't really surprised—he was really out of it earlier. I felt terrible about the whole situation, but I honestly didn't know just how drunk he really was. The whole thing was fucked up. I couldn't wait for school to start again simply because I wanted this entire situation to end.

I still didn't truly understand how this even happened. I mean, what Oli and Alex did to each other was pretty shitty, but this seems like too much to me. Oli's seriously trying to ruin our lives, and for what? Some seriously twisted sense of satisfaction? It was sick knowing that he actually took pleasure from ruining our lives. This was the second time he'd tried to make a move on Alex. Even after Alex had threatened to call the police on him, he still tried it again. I just didn't understand.

I looked over at my passed out boyfriend and sighed. I was so worried for him. It was obvious that he didn't want to talk about what had happened, which I can kind of understand. I just don't think that it's good for him to be repressing it all. I hate that he won't talk to me.

I ran my fingers through his hair gently before climbing out of bed. I figured Alex would appreciate some food when he eventually woke up. Also I knew that the sooner I talked this whole thing out with my mom, the better. If I let her stew for a few hours, I could almost guarantee being grounded.

Walking down the stairs, I was pretty nervous about talking to my mom. I knew she was mad and all, but I really wasn't scared to talk to her. It was just... I've been keeping a lot of things from her lately, and I was scared that I would accidentally say something wrong to her. What my dad did to me, what Oli did to Alex, or even what Oli did to me. It would all be terrible if she found out about any of them.

"Hey, mom," I said quietly as I entered the kitchen.

She looked up from whatever it was she was doing and sighed. "That was quick. Where's Alex?"

"Asleep," I answered. "I'm sorry for bringing him back here without asking you first, but I couldn't have let him go home. I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if he would've driven home and gotten hurt or hurt someone."

"I'm not upset that you helped him." She rubbed her eyes. "I'm upset that you were in the situation in the first place. Jack, you're seventeen and Alex is what, eighteen? You're both too young to drink."

"I know," I admit. "It's not a regular thing or anything like that. We just... it was the first time I've ever been to a party like that... I wasn't even drunk."

"I don't know if I can trust you on that, Jack." She sighed. "You don't seem hungover or anything, but since you and Alex have been together, you've been different. At first I thought it was a good thing, but now I don't know."

"It is a good thing," I tried to assure her. "Last night was a mistake, I'll admit that, but I'm happy right now." I knew that was a slight lie, but outside of all the bullshit going on, I knew that I was be happy. "I have friends outside of Rian and Zack, and I feel more confident."

Mom smiled slightly. "I'm happy that you're happy, baby, I really am, but I'm just worried about you. Underage drinking is against the law for a reason."

"I promise you that Alex and his friends don't drink regularly. It was New Year's Eve, and well, it just kind of happened..."

She sighed. "New Year's Eve or not, it was still inappropriate, and I will not condone this type of behavior anymore, okay?"

I nodded. "Won't happen again."

"Good. Now, get back upstairs. We'll talk punishment after Alex leaves."

---

My punishment ended up being that I was grounded for the rest of break. Which, in retrospect, wasn't too bad considering that there were only a few days left after the first. I spent the last inklings of winter break helping my mom clean up around the house and put away Christmas decorations. Which was fine. After Alex left, my mom and I had a really good conversation about communication and our lack thereof of it. It seemed to help a little bit. We were talking more now, and it was nice.

What did suck about being grounded was not being able to talk to Alex or anyone. I was worried about him—but honestly, when am I not? After what had happened New Year's Eve and the way he had reacted the next day. That much repression can't be good for him. I was scared that he'd crack and do something terrible.

So I was almost happy to be going back today. Even if it was 6:30 am when my alarm clock went off. I groaned and rolled over to shut it up. I really didn't miss waking up so early that it was still dark out. I shuddered when my feet hit the cold floor of my room; I really hate the winter.

I got ready basically on autopilot. It wasn't until I went downstairs that I woke up a little more. Mom was sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal and cup of coffee.

"Morning, Jack." She looked up and smiled when I came into the room.

"Morning," I grunted back as I headed towards the coffee pot. My reliance on the stuff was actually kind of troubling. Whatever.

Once I had gotten my coffee and an apple for breakfast, I sat down at the table across from her.

"Can I assume that Rian is picking you up?" she asked.

Right on cue I heard a car horn from outside. The boy has good timing, always has.

"That would be him," I confirmed. "Oh, and on New Years, Alex mentioned going out to dinner with a bunch of friends on the first day back, so we might be doing that."

Mom sighed. "I know you're not grounded anymore, but... just make good choices."

"Always," I confirmed, getting up and walking to the door. "See you tonight."

"You, too, Jacko. Have a good day."

---

"So, do you want to talk about what happened on New Year's Eve?" We were about halfway to school when Rian asked the question.

"I don't know what you're talking about," was my go-to response. I knew that this wasn't something Alex and I could keep from spreading like the first time, but I sure as hell wasn't going to talk about it before I could talk to Alex.

Rian sighed. "The thing with Sykes. Zack told me, you know."

"That's not something I want to talk about right now," I said, not looking at him. In all honesty, I wanted to talk to someone that wasn't Alex about the whole thing. I just didn't think I could without upsetting him.

"Come on, Jack. Is Alex at least okay?" he asked. We were pulling into the school parking lot, so I knew that I could avoid the rest of this conversation for a little while, at least.

"He's fine." I shrugged. "We're dealing with it."

We pulled into a parking spot. "Please tell me you're going to tell someone, Jack. What happened was borderline rape! He deserves to be punished!"

"Thanks for the ride, Ri." I ignored him as I got out of the car. "I'll see you in class."

"Jack! Come on!" Was the last thing I heard before I slammed the car door.

I briefly scanned the parking lot before I saw Alex sitting on the hood of his car with Franchesci. I smiled and walked towards them.

"Hey, guys!" I called when I wasn't very far away.

Alex turned and smiled at me before hopping off of the car to greet me with a hug.

"Hey, angel," he whispered into my neck. I happily returned the hug by wrapping my arms around his waist. "Sorry you got in trouble because of me."

"It's not your fault," I whispered back, kissing his cheek. "And you know I’d do it again 'cause I lo—"

I was interrupted by a sudden burst of something wet and cold. I jumped up and turned around to see a small pile of snow laying on the concrete and a snickering Joshua standing near a snowbank.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked, glaring at him.

"Of course," Franchesci said back. "You guys were being gross, and I had to stop it."

"Fuck you." Alex groaned and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"In front of your boyfriend?" Josh asked, sounding like he was horrified. "I don't think he'd like that..." He shrugged. "But then again, maybe he would. I don't know what he's into."

"Oh, bite me." I sighed heavily.

"Voyeurism and biting?!" he exclaimed. "I didn't know you were that kinky, Barakat."

"Stop talking before I kick your ass," Alex threatened, amusement prevalent in his voice. "We really should start heading inside. It's cold as balls."

"I've always wondered how cold balls are, exactly," Franchesci commented as we were walking inside.

"Why's that?" Alex shot back. "Don't have any of your own to test the theory?"

"Ouch, Gaskarth, that one hurt." Josh laughed in response.

Alex laughed along at first before I felt his grip on my waist tighten. I looked around for a second until I saw what had Alex's mood suddenly change. Oli was leaning up against the side of the building with the rest of his shady crew. I felt a pang of rage hit me as we passed by. Oli must have noticed us because when he looked up, he looked me right in the eye and smirked. It took everything I had in me not to jump him then and there.

Josh must've realized something was up because he took a few steps closer to us and pat Alex on the shoulder. "Don't worry about him, Gaskarth. I don't think he'd be dumb enough to go after you here. And even if he did, you know we'd all be backing you up, right?"

Alex drew in a shaky breath before nodding. "Yeah."

"Good." Josh smiled. "Now let's get to first period. I can only imagine how pissy Burgess would be if we were late on the first day back."

---

Another thing I didn't miss about school was listening to Burgess drone on and on about absolutely nothing of interest. I thought Animal Farm was bad, yes, but whatever the hell she was talking about now was just mind-numbing. I was actually hoping the school would set on fire to get me out of this class.

I glanced over at Rian who was leaned back in his seat. It looked like he was actually taking notes. Typical.

Thankfully, the classroom phone interrupted the lecture. I couldn't be more thankful for this impromptu break. I rested my head in my hands and groaned.

"What?" Rian asked.

"I have no idea what's going on." I sighed.

"Are you serious? Burgess was explaining the poetry unit we're starting this week," Rian began, "and how, for the project, we have to write some kind of poem, I missed what type."

I laid my head on the desk and groaned even harder. This was going to suck.

"Are you really that hopeless?" I could almost hear the eye roll in Ri's voice.

"Gaskarth," Burgess announced above the light conversation taking place in the room. "Principle wants to see you. Take your things."

I looked over to see Alex packing his stuff up. The group of girls he sat by were looking at him with raised eyebrows, but other than that, no one really reacted. As Alex left the room, he looked my way and made eye contact. I shrugged at him. I could only assume this was about the email we sent the principle over break, but I had no way of knowing for sure until later. Which really sucked.

Notes

sorry to say this is the last prewritten one :(((
we used to post twice a week but now it's like once every two months
maybe we can get back into a somewhat decent scedule or smth