Without the Love
Just Friends; No Strings
-Zack-
I was watching her dance around my living room still in that damn black bikini-she’d refused to change- when the phone rang. I picked it up and checked the screen, trying to ignore the slutty dance party happening in my apartment. Jack was calling. “Ello?” I yawned into the phone, dropping down on the leather couch.
“What’re you up too?” Before I could answer he started cursing under his breath, and then screaming cusses at some invisible to me person. I laughed. “Sorry,” was his disgruntled reply.
“No problem. What’re you doing, practicing for a swear off?” Kenz dropped down onto the couch next to me and tugged on my sleeve. “Hold on,” I groaned to Jack and covered my entire phone with my hand. “Yes?”
“Can I go shower?” She giggled and gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Little brunettes shouldn’t be allowed to drink as much as she obviously had. Her fingers walked up my thigh and I stood up. I wasn’t going there with her again.
“Yeah, you know how to use it.” I walked out onto the terrace. “Sorry about that man,” I murmured, pressing the phone to my ear. My other hand pinched the bridge of my nose, her giggles erupting from somewhere inside.
“Everything all right?” Jack quipped. I could hear laughter in his voice.
“Yessir. Now, what are you doing again?”
“On my way to see you actually.”
“Oh?” Oh. Fuck. Me.
“Yeah. I’ll be there in like three minutes. This cabbie’s a retard.” He hung up.
I turned and rushed inside. “KENZ!” I shouted, yanking open the bathroom door.
She was standing in the shower, buck naked with her hands in her hair, singing along to some silly song stuck in her head. A scream escaped her pale lips as I ripped open the glass door. We stood there staring at each other for a long moment before triumph glinted in her features. Her fingers threaded in my hair, her mouth clutching mine as we stood there. I kissed back for a second or two before the guilt over came me yet again. This was Alex’s ex. Granted he and I weren’t friends anymore but he’d kissed these lips, he’d made love to this girl. This girl who trusted me with all her heart. And here I was, sober and right, kissing her while she was so drunk she couldn’t think straight. Kenz was smart. She was gorgeous. She could do worlds better than the distant memory I created for her. There were times where I’d have willingly kissed her back, held her to me and took her some place knew. But then there were times like now, where I know I’d just be another rebound. Because she’d love Alex until her heart stopped beating. And he just didn’t care.
“Kenz,” I said softly as I detangled myself from her arms. “Jack’s on his way here and we both know what’s gonna happen if he finds you naked in my home.”
She said and nodded, rejecting clear in the blush on her cheeks and the fumbling of her hands as she turned the water off. I sighed and rubbed my face, watching her shatter. “Kenz…”I prompted.
“Let me get dressed Zack.” She wrapped a towel around herself and pushed past me, walking through the other entrance to the bathroom attached to my room.
I groaned and walked out of the bathroom, just as the front door was opening. Jack strode in with a duffle over his one shoulder and a stupid grin on his face. “A-hoy!” He yelled joyously.
“A-hoy!” I replied just as animated and grabbed two beers from the fridge. “What brings you to this corner of my world?” I grinned and tossed him a bottle.
“In town for the drop of our song. Didja hear it yet?” Jack dropped onto my couch, his eyes bearing into focus on the strappy black sandals that had been ever so graciously dropped onto the floor by my coffee table. “Oo-la-la. Zacky’s got a lady friend over. Should I go?”
“Yes I heard it and no. It’s not like that.” I picked the shoes up and put them on the shoe matt by the door. “She should be out in a minute.” I said gruffly.
“SHE has a NAME.”
Jack looked up and began to laugh, holding his sides. I turned to see Kenz standing in the hall in my Blink t-shirt without anything covering her legs, her long hair still damp as it hung to her ribcage. “Oh God. Please tell me you didn’t….oh God.”
“Calm your dick Barakat.” She grabbed the unopened beer from my hands and sat down next to him. “Nothing carnal was performed in this apartment as of late.”
Jack chuckled and clinked his bottle with hers, both of them sending snide smirks at me. I wasn’t like them. I wasn’t like Alex. I couldn’t just have meaningless sex and let that be the end of the story. Kenz’d been doing it since she was 16…Jack? Well…Jack was the same. So four years versus nearly a decade. Yep. That’s what I was dealing with. I rolled my eyes, grabbed another beer, and flopped down next to the two of them. And we drank.
-Kenz-
I woke to a fuzzy head filled with sharp pain and someone’s hot arm over my midsection. Warm breath was coming out in puffs against my neck, breath lingering with the sharp scent of beer and some sort of pepper. Another body was draped across the couch not that far from me, one arm on the floor, feet over the back, mouth hung open slackly, skunk hair nearly brushing the floor. Empty beer bottles lingered on the floor and the black coffee table, my legs were tangled with Zack’s. I still had his shirt on and my bikini bottoms. For that I would be eternally thankful. It wasn’t that I found either of them unattractive; I thought my boys were hot looking young men. But I’d grown up with the fuckers, met every girlfriend, every one night stand, every casual-rainy day friend. I’d seen them drunk, I’d seen them in tears. They’d been his friends at one point. They were my friends now. I didn’t want to loose either of them, so it was better if I stayed away from them.
Zack and I…we’d gotten close to sleeping together a couple times. But it hadn’t happened and it never would. I’d not put myself in the position to loose either of them. Zack especially. He’d been my anchor since the break up…he’d been the reason I hadn’t reverted to self harming. He’d been my social catalyst when I first needed to burst back into the world of the living and he’d been my last call when I was too drunk to drive myself home.
Jack….Jack wasn’t my best friend. He was the zany, fun big brother that neither of my older brothers’ had ever been. He was the God in my sea of useless idiots I spent most of my days around. He was the guy who taught me how to do a keg stand and who promised to get me a puppy but never did because he forgot. He was fun. He was weird. He wasn’t the kind of boy I’d have ever felt comfortable hooking up with. No. I wasn’t willing to go there with him. I wasn’t willing to go there with either of them.
The two of them were half the reason none of my relationships lasted that long though. A lot of the guys I’d dated had found it weird that Zack would just walk into my loft without a shirt on after working out at the gym nearby and demand I make him breakfast. (he worked out at obscenely early zero-o-dark thirty). Or that Jack would run up to me in public, tell me he loved me, and then swing me around like I weighed nothing at all. It pissed me off when people got personal about someone’s friends, and when the guys I got into told me to stay away from my friends I nearly screamed. So, when a guy told me he didn’t feel comfortable with how close Jack and Zack and I were I sent them packing. The whole process was fairly depressing.
I snuck out from under Zack’s arm and crept into the kitchen, flipping the light switch on. There were even more beer bottles on the counter, making me wonder how many the two of them had really drunken. After popping to aspirin I got out the necessary ingredients for pancakes and found myself a large mixing bowl. As I measured out what I needed, the boys snored in the other room and my phone buzzed. I groaned and scooped it up, quickly accepting the call coming through.
“WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO!” Demi screamed as soon as she heard my breathing on the other end. “I’VE BEEN CALLING YOU ALL FUCKING MORNING MACKENZIE ROSE GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO.”
“Sean got a little too frisky and Zack took me home. Jack showed up and we bullshitted around. I’m fine.” I rubbed my face with a hint of dread.
“Oh.” Dylan was chuckling in the background.
“Yeah. I’ll see you tonight.” I hung up.
Instead of finishing the pancakes, I pulled my jeans on and grabbed my shirt, shoes, and phone. And left.
I was watching her dance around my living room still in that damn black bikini-she’d refused to change- when the phone rang. I picked it up and checked the screen, trying to ignore the slutty dance party happening in my apartment. Jack was calling. “Ello?” I yawned into the phone, dropping down on the leather couch.
“What’re you up too?” Before I could answer he started cursing under his breath, and then screaming cusses at some invisible to me person. I laughed. “Sorry,” was his disgruntled reply.
“No problem. What’re you doing, practicing for a swear off?” Kenz dropped down onto the couch next to me and tugged on my sleeve. “Hold on,” I groaned to Jack and covered my entire phone with my hand. “Yes?”
“Can I go shower?” She giggled and gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Little brunettes shouldn’t be allowed to drink as much as she obviously had. Her fingers walked up my thigh and I stood up. I wasn’t going there with her again.
“Yeah, you know how to use it.” I walked out onto the terrace. “Sorry about that man,” I murmured, pressing the phone to my ear. My other hand pinched the bridge of my nose, her giggles erupting from somewhere inside.
“Everything all right?” Jack quipped. I could hear laughter in his voice.
“Yessir. Now, what are you doing again?”
“On my way to see you actually.”
“Oh?” Oh. Fuck. Me.
“Yeah. I’ll be there in like three minutes. This cabbie’s a retard.” He hung up.
I turned and rushed inside. “KENZ!” I shouted, yanking open the bathroom door.
She was standing in the shower, buck naked with her hands in her hair, singing along to some silly song stuck in her head. A scream escaped her pale lips as I ripped open the glass door. We stood there staring at each other for a long moment before triumph glinted in her features. Her fingers threaded in my hair, her mouth clutching mine as we stood there. I kissed back for a second or two before the guilt over came me yet again. This was Alex’s ex. Granted he and I weren’t friends anymore but he’d kissed these lips, he’d made love to this girl. This girl who trusted me with all her heart. And here I was, sober and right, kissing her while she was so drunk she couldn’t think straight. Kenz was smart. She was gorgeous. She could do worlds better than the distant memory I created for her. There were times where I’d have willingly kissed her back, held her to me and took her some place knew. But then there were times like now, where I know I’d just be another rebound. Because she’d love Alex until her heart stopped beating. And he just didn’t care.
“Kenz,” I said softly as I detangled myself from her arms. “Jack’s on his way here and we both know what’s gonna happen if he finds you naked in my home.”
She said and nodded, rejecting clear in the blush on her cheeks and the fumbling of her hands as she turned the water off. I sighed and rubbed my face, watching her shatter. “Kenz…”I prompted.
“Let me get dressed Zack.” She wrapped a towel around herself and pushed past me, walking through the other entrance to the bathroom attached to my room.
I groaned and walked out of the bathroom, just as the front door was opening. Jack strode in with a duffle over his one shoulder and a stupid grin on his face. “A-hoy!” He yelled joyously.
“A-hoy!” I replied just as animated and grabbed two beers from the fridge. “What brings you to this corner of my world?” I grinned and tossed him a bottle.
“In town for the drop of our song. Didja hear it yet?” Jack dropped onto my couch, his eyes bearing into focus on the strappy black sandals that had been ever so graciously dropped onto the floor by my coffee table. “Oo-la-la. Zacky’s got a lady friend over. Should I go?”
“Yes I heard it and no. It’s not like that.” I picked the shoes up and put them on the shoe matt by the door. “She should be out in a minute.” I said gruffly.
“SHE has a NAME.”
Jack looked up and began to laugh, holding his sides. I turned to see Kenz standing in the hall in my Blink t-shirt without anything covering her legs, her long hair still damp as it hung to her ribcage. “Oh God. Please tell me you didn’t….oh God.”
“Calm your dick Barakat.” She grabbed the unopened beer from my hands and sat down next to him. “Nothing carnal was performed in this apartment as of late.”
Jack chuckled and clinked his bottle with hers, both of them sending snide smirks at me. I wasn’t like them. I wasn’t like Alex. I couldn’t just have meaningless sex and let that be the end of the story. Kenz’d been doing it since she was 16…Jack? Well…Jack was the same. So four years versus nearly a decade. Yep. That’s what I was dealing with. I rolled my eyes, grabbed another beer, and flopped down next to the two of them. And we drank.
-Kenz-
I woke to a fuzzy head filled with sharp pain and someone’s hot arm over my midsection. Warm breath was coming out in puffs against my neck, breath lingering with the sharp scent of beer and some sort of pepper. Another body was draped across the couch not that far from me, one arm on the floor, feet over the back, mouth hung open slackly, skunk hair nearly brushing the floor. Empty beer bottles lingered on the floor and the black coffee table, my legs were tangled with Zack’s. I still had his shirt on and my bikini bottoms. For that I would be eternally thankful. It wasn’t that I found either of them unattractive; I thought my boys were hot looking young men. But I’d grown up with the fuckers, met every girlfriend, every one night stand, every casual-rainy day friend. I’d seen them drunk, I’d seen them in tears. They’d been his friends at one point. They were my friends now. I didn’t want to loose either of them, so it was better if I stayed away from them.
Zack and I…we’d gotten close to sleeping together a couple times. But it hadn’t happened and it never would. I’d not put myself in the position to loose either of them. Zack especially. He’d been my anchor since the break up…he’d been the reason I hadn’t reverted to self harming. He’d been my social catalyst when I first needed to burst back into the world of the living and he’d been my last call when I was too drunk to drive myself home.
Jack….Jack wasn’t my best friend. He was the zany, fun big brother that neither of my older brothers’ had ever been. He was the God in my sea of useless idiots I spent most of my days around. He was the guy who taught me how to do a keg stand and who promised to get me a puppy but never did because he forgot. He was fun. He was weird. He wasn’t the kind of boy I’d have ever felt comfortable hooking up with. No. I wasn’t willing to go there with him. I wasn’t willing to go there with either of them.
The two of them were half the reason none of my relationships lasted that long though. A lot of the guys I’d dated had found it weird that Zack would just walk into my loft without a shirt on after working out at the gym nearby and demand I make him breakfast. (he worked out at obscenely early zero-o-dark thirty). Or that Jack would run up to me in public, tell me he loved me, and then swing me around like I weighed nothing at all. It pissed me off when people got personal about someone’s friends, and when the guys I got into told me to stay away from my friends I nearly screamed. So, when a guy told me he didn’t feel comfortable with how close Jack and Zack and I were I sent them packing. The whole process was fairly depressing.
I snuck out from under Zack’s arm and crept into the kitchen, flipping the light switch on. There were even more beer bottles on the counter, making me wonder how many the two of them had really drunken. After popping to aspirin I got out the necessary ingredients for pancakes and found myself a large mixing bowl. As I measured out what I needed, the boys snored in the other room and my phone buzzed. I groaned and scooped it up, quickly accepting the call coming through.
“WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO!” Demi screamed as soon as she heard my breathing on the other end. “I’VE BEEN CALLING YOU ALL FUCKING MORNING MACKENZIE ROSE GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO.”
“Sean got a little too frisky and Zack took me home. Jack showed up and we bullshitted around. I’m fine.” I rubbed my face with a hint of dread.
“Oh.” Dylan was chuckling in the background.
“Yeah. I’ll see you tonight.” I hung up.
Instead of finishing the pancakes, I pulled my jeans on and grabbed my shirt, shoes, and phone. And left.
Notes
Two updates in one day?! I think yes. :D I kinda love this.-xoxoDR
@RosesNWriters
Aw, yay, you're back! Thanks for commenting on here, or I probably wouldn't have realized.
I'll check out the revamp as soon as I can. :)
10/25/18