Hope for the helpless

It had been two days since I'd last seen Alex and I was worried about him. If what I'd seen was anything to go by, I don't think he'll be much better now. I laid down on my bed and finally came to a decision; I'll go and check on him tomorrow. I closed my eyes and let sleep gently take over my mind.
I was woken by the sound of my phone buzzing on the desk. I rolled out of bed and stumbled over some of the clothes littered on my bedroom floor, 'note to self: I need to clean my room' I picked up the phone "Jack Barakat," I said not knowing who it was on the other end of the call. "It's Alex..." I heard him sob into the phone "I've done something stupid." He mumbled bursting into tears as he said it. The last words shivers sped down my spine. I knew what that meant. "I'll be there in a second." I stuttered over the phone, hanging up after I finished the final word. I quickly pulled on whatever clothes were close to me not caring what they were. I ran out of the door but returned a second later to grab my phone. I may have gone over the speed limit a couple of times but it was an emergency and I don't think anyone caught me.
I knocked on Alex's door and tried the handle, locked. I knocked again harder,"ALEX!" I shouted through the wood. I pressed my ear against the door to try and hear his answer "help me.." I heard him say in a weak voice. I took a few steps back and ran towards the door. It broke open and sent splinters of wood flying into his apartment. 'I'll pay him back for that' I ran through his living room and shouted "where are you?" He mumbled something that sounded like kitchen so I sped into the room. What I saw shocked me. I took a moment to take in the scene in front of me. The knife was laying next to his hand, I could see the deep slices in his wrist from the other side of the room. "What have you done to yourself...?" I murmured gently as I crouched down next to him. I grabbed a tea towel from the counter and wrapped it tightly around his forearm. I pulled out my phone and called for an ambulance, Alex had lost too much blood. I told him to stay awake but eventually his eyes closed and he lost consciousness. I moved his golden brown hair out of his face, he was so pale. The ambulance arrived and they loaded Alex onto a stretcher, I managed to beg the paramedics to let me sit by his side for the ride to the hospital. I grabbed hold of his hand and didn't let go until he was rushed into an operating room in the hospital that I wasn't allowed into. A nurse showed me to a waiting room, I sat on one of the hard plastic chairs and tried to come to terms with what had just happened. 'Why did he do it? Why...? Was it because I didn't see him?..."

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a brown haired doctor walking into the waiting room " Mr. Barakat," he announced and I stood up " follow me." The doctor instructed in a British accent as he turned and walked out of the room. I followed him down at least two long corridors until he stopped outside of a door. He turned to me and said "he is weak and has lost a lot of blood; a few more minutes and he wouldn't have made it this far. I would like to warn you... He still isn't completely stable, things could get worse rather quickly." I nodded as I tried as hard as I could not to let tears escape from my eyes. "How long can I stay for?" I asked knowing that some hospitals have limits. "There's a spare bed in there, you can stay over night if you want to." The tall doctor said. I couldn't help but smile at this news, I wanted to be there when Alex woke up. He opened the door and motioned for me to go inside I walked into the room quietly and looked at the bed. Alex was so thin he made the bed look big enough for three people. "I'll leave you two alone." The doctor said as he began to leave "I'm Dr. Franceschi by the way, is you need me press the button." He added and nodded towards a button on the wall next to the bed. I mumbled a yes to him but continued to stare at the young man laying in the bed. I went and sat in the chair next to his head and finally let the tears fall. "I should have checked up on you before, I'm so stupid, I should have known. I'm sorry I should have been there. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." I began to sob in between apologies until I finally ran out of tears. The exhaustion of the last few hours took over me and I fell asleep in the chair, not even bothering to walk to the spare bed.

I began to wake up when I heard movement next to me. "Morning." Alex said as I opened my eyes. He asked why I was still here and I was slightly taken aback by the rudeness of the question but then realised that he didn't mean to be rude. I explained that I wanted to help him pick up the pieces when he broke. Finally curiosity got the better of me, I couldn't resist asking "why did you do this to yourself?" His answer only made me more curious. "memories of what?" He simply answered by saying "I don't want to think about it." I knew it was a touchy subject and decided not to pressure him, he'll tell me when he wants to. "When can I go home?" He asked breaking the silence, "Well, you should be discharged by tomorrow but then you have to stay with someone for about four days afterwards" I said matter-of-factly "who am I going to stay with? I don't want to go to my parents, they'll just ask questions or send me to therapy again." He said, I had to hold back a cringe when he said the word therapy. "Well I was thinking that...urr....I was wondering if they'd let you stay with a friend." I said nervously, worried that he'd think I was weird I'd only seen him once before. "You mean yourself?" He said chuckling. "Yeah." I said quietly as I felt the heat creep onto my face. "I'm looking forward to it." He said, I couldn't help but grin as butterflies filled my stomach.
He looked up at the IV drip that they had attached to his hand, "you lost a lot of blood, do you remember anything?" I said breaking the silence that had fallen. He told me that he remembered everything before he passed out, which was good, but then he said something that made me more curious; 'it's getting worse' I asked him what and he meant and he looked into my eyes before telling me his story. By the end I was surprised I wasn't crying, how could someone do such a terrible thing. "Is that what you were dreaming about when you slept at my house?" I asked and he began to sob, I don't know why but when he closed his eyes I reached forward and wiped the tears from his cheek. My heart rose up in my chest when he nuzzled his chin into my palm. He quickly turned his head slightly and kissed my hand, butterflies filled my stomach and my heart did a front-flip when his lips touched my skin. I reached up and pulled him into a hug, pulling back nerves began to build up in my chest as I asked "is it ok if I kiss you? I don't want to remind you of anything bad." He smiled and leaned in closer "yes" he whispered and pushed his lips against mine. Fireworks exploded in my chest, slowly spreading through the rest of my body. I pulled away and said "I only met you a few days ago but I have not gone for one second without thinking about you." I placed my lips against his again but this time he pulled away and stared into my eyes "you stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life, and your the only thing that makes me feel happy. I haven't felt happy in years." As he said the words I couldn't help but smile, I didn't notice I was crying until Alex reached up and wiped a tear away from my cheek, "I love you." I whispered to him. "I love you too." He whispered in return. We stayed for a moment, just laying in each other's arms sharing kisses every so often. Then I had an idea "Wait here I'm going to go fetch something from my house," I said getting up and walking towards the door of the room. "Wait! I don't want to be on my own." He called from the bed. I walked back to him and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I opened the music app and passed it to him, "you'll never be alone if you have music. I'll be back in five minutes" I said. He smiled up at me before beginning to scroll down through my playlists. I left the room and ran out to my car, scrambling in and starting the engine. I knew exactly what it was that I was going to get and I wanted to be as fast as possible.

Notes

Basically the same chapter again....but shush.