I came home to a house without you, the air was stale the walls were bare.

Marianna had been moved into a hospital room. She wasn't doing well at all, she was getting sicker and sicker. I had to break the news to Josie that mom wouldn't be returning home. I had to explain that Mom didn't have much time left. How is a ten year old supposed to understand all of this? I could barely fathom what I had to tell my child.

"Jojo," I yelled upstairs.

"Yeah Dad," she said as her and Jaqui ran down from upstairs.

"I need to talk to you alone. Jaqueline, can you go back upstairs while I talk to Josie. It'll be quick."

She nodded and climbed up the stairs. Josie gave me a puzzled look, as I sighed. I ran a hand through my hair, messing up the perfectly organized raven strands. This was so difficult.

"Jo, you know how Mom isn't home," I began.

"She won't be coming home will she," she asked.

"That's right, she's in the hospital again."

"I want to see her."

"You'll get to, I promise."

She nodded and wrapped her arms around my torso, giving me a hug. She turned and went back upstairs. I knew once she was with her girlfriend she was going to break down, that's what usually happens. I didn't know what to do so I called Alex.

"Jay, what's up," he asked.

"Mari is in the hospital and won't be coming home," I said, trying not to cry.

"Till when?"

"She won't be coming home."

"Oh. I'm sorry man."

"I don't know what to do. I don't understand."

"Does anyone know what to do in this situation? Death doesn't make sense to us, it's not something that we can process. I don't know what else to tell you."

"I need her Alex, you know our song, Edge of Tonight? She keeps my safe, he keeps me sane, she keeps me honest. I fucking need her and I'm gonna fuck everything up. Josie is going to hate me and I can't raise a kid and I don't know what to do."

"I understand what you're saying with her doing all of that for you. I don't know what to tell you Jay, I'm sorry."

I hung up, what am I supposed to do without Mari. She really is my other half. She is my better half. Without her I'm a mess. I'm a drunken and stumbling mess. She helped me fix myself, she fixed me.

I wanna see you more, I miss your company.

Notes

I haven't been updating this story a lot because it's actually getting a little hard to write. I also have writer's block on Lost Without You, I haven't forgotten about it. I'm sorry for this chapter and the next one, both of which are sad. Also check out Chance, Jagk and I's story and it's sequel which should be up soon.

Leave a comment and rate if you enjoy :)

Title and song credit: The Way - Sick Puppies