Josie's POV

I never could have seen this coming, feels like my worlds falling apart.

I closed my locker quickly and looked down the hall. I didn't see them, that means it was safe right. I tightened my grip on the books bringing them closer to my chest. I kept my face pointed to the ground as I hurried off to my class. I worried I would run into them, I knew I would. There was one of them in all of my classes.

I quickly went into the classroom, taking my seat in the back corner. I put my head down throwing the hood over my hair. My headphones were in my ears blasting some of my mom's music. I loved their music, Dead Ocean had a style that spoke to me. I didn't want to say it was biased but I probably was.

"There's the lesbian," I heard Stacy yell.

I tried to keep my head down, I was grabbing my hood, desperately trying to cover all that I could. The teacher never seemed to hear anything. I felt a tear run down my cheek already, I just couldn't be okay in this situation. I felt a hand at the back of my hood. My head was lifted up from where I had it.

"Listen to me bitch, you're fucking worthless. Don't you know that you are a sick fuck. No one loves you," Stacy whispered in my ear.

I bit my lip, desperate to prevent the tears from falling from my face. Stacy threw my head forward. My raven hair falling from where I had shoved it into my hood. Tears escaped from my eyes, I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to show her that I agreed with what she was saying. I raised my hand, the teacher calling on me.

"Can I go to guidance," I asked softly.

She nodded, knowing what was going on at home. I grabbed my book bag, wiping my eyes with the sleeves of my hoodie. I wasn't going to go to guidance, I was going home and it was that simple. I needed one thing, that's it.

I curled up by the lockers, sitting on the disgusting floor. I dragged my knees into my chest crying softly. I texted my father, telling him to come pick me up from school. I knew I wouldn't need to explain it, I'd done it so many times. I could practically hear his sigh as I read the text saying he'd be here soon. I collected my bag from the floor and began to walk slowly to the office.

I walked in and the lady at the front desk gave me a look. I sighed and took a seat in one of the empty chairs by the door. She walked over to me, kneeling down in front of me to meet my eyes.

"Sweetie, are you okay," she asked.

"I feel sick," I said softly.

She nodded and went to call my parents on the phone. Dad had called everyone at the school and told them what was going on. My dad was no stranger to this school, well he also went here for middle school so there's a few reasons why. I put my face in my hands which my sleeves were covering. I wanted to cry, I wanted to just feel okay.

"Jo," I heard my father whisper in my ear.

I turned to face him, my eyes beyond blood shot. He threw my book bag over his shoulder and picked me up like you do a child. I was now eleven but I wanted to be in his arms more than ever. I was falling apart on the inside more than anything. He walked out into the hallway where the attendance office is so he could sign me out.

"Is that Jack Barakat," I heard Stacy whisper.

I felt Dad turn to face the words that were being spoken. I had kept his last name through my parents divorce since he ended up winning custody. I guess no one either knew it or put two and two together. It was no secret that he still lived here. Maybe they thought that such a failure couldn't come from him.

"How can I help you," he asked.

"I love your bands music. You're my favorite member. I really hope Josie is feeling better soon too. I'm going to miss her in my classes," Stacy said, trying to sound sweet.

He chuckled and stood up fully. He walked out of the building holding me as I cried into his shoulder. She had him fooled, she wasn't innocent. I wasn't going to tell Dad, if I was going to tell anyone it'd be Mom or Alex. I don't know why, I just knew Dad was going to blow things out of proportion.

Why is everything so hard I don't think I can deal with the things you said. It just won't go away.

I sat in the car, bringing my knees up to my face again. I wanted to cry but I wouldn't. I just sighed and began to scratch at my arm. He knew that I had scars on my arm, he's seen it before. I wanted to know how Mom was but I knew much better than to ask. It was something he was trying not to think about.

"Jo, I can't keep coming here to pick you up every day. You need to stay at school," he scolded.

"Daddy, please listen to me. School really isn't good for me. People pick on me a lot and I just can't deal," I whispered.

"What do they pick on you about?"

"Well back when I liked Trevor they said I had problems because I liked the girl-boy. Now that Jaqui and I are kind of together it's only gotten worse. It's not my fault, I like her. They tell me that there's something wrong with me. I just like her, she makes me feel okay. Nothing else does."

"Jojo, there's nothing wrong with you I promise. You're okay, just, don't let what they say get to you. There is nothing wrong with you."

"Dad, they hate me."

"Sweetie, you're different, not everyone is going to like that. Even if you weren't not everyone is going to like that. That's how life is, I wish I could help you more than that."

"You just don't understand."

"You're right, it's not like I've never been a teenager in my life. I don't understand at all."

"Shut up Dad."

I looked out the window, scratching at the scars yet again. I just wanted him to believe me, I just wanted him to understand and he wasn't. What's it worth fighting when you were fighting alone? I was beyond done, I just wanted to give up. I don't even know why I was still fighting.

Once the car pulled into the drive way I ran into the house, slamming the door behind me. I ran up the stairs up to my room. Alone sounded really good to me right now. I locked the door behind me and grabbed my old friend. I stared at my wrist contemplating it. Was it worth it? I had been doing pretty well. What would Jaqui say?

Just one, I told myself, only one, then you're done. I gave into my thoughts. That's when it clicked, I now knew just did. I was so mad at myself. What would my mom say? What would Dad say? What would Jaqui say? Would Jaqui still love me?

"Honey," my mom said, knocking on the door.

"What," I said through tears.

"Let me in, Jack said you were upset."

"You're going to be mad at me."

I opened the door, her's eyes immediately going to my wrist. She shook her head and pulled me in for a tight hug. She kissed the top of my head and let me cry into her torso, knowing I just wanted to be held. She pulled me into the bathroom and set me on the toilet. She grabbed a rag and started adding pressure to the wound.

"Promise me this is the last time," she whispered.

"I promise," I said just as soft.

"Don't make Dad deal with this, please."

She was crying, bringing up the one topic we hadn't been wanting to discuss. I knew she meant it in the nicest possible way. That didn't make it sound better. How long could I stay strong after she was gone.

In a perfect world this could never happen.

Notes

This chapter took me 4 hours to write so I hope you enjoy one of the saddest things I've ever written. I was also watching Rock Of Ages while I wrote the second half of this. In my opinion, it had the second best soundtrack ever. Second to Grease that is.

I leave for Tennessee next week too and I'm nowhere near ready... I should probably go shopping so I have everything for it. There may also be no updates from me in the next week due to work and stuffs. I apologize in advance for that.

Leave a comment and rate if you enjoy :)

Title and lyrics credit: Perfect World - Simple Plan

Tumblr: Jointhetidalwaves