Doctor said she ain't got long she smiled and said bring it on.

Mari was sick today. She was feeling really bad, it was probably the cancer speaking. She was lying in bed and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. She smiled at me, a smile hadn't been leaving her lips for the past while. It had been two months since that date which was still surreal to me. We weren't sure how much longer we were going to be together.

I kissed her hand softly and moved the faded red hair out of her eyes. She didn't see a point in re-dying it, her blonde roots were coming in. It almost hurt to see her like this. It wasn't that she was giving up, she just wasn't fighting the truth. She may have been smiling the entire time but you could see she wasn't who she was. I got up and walked to the kitchen to get her some soup.

I walked down the stairs, I heard Josie and her from Jacqueline , or Jaqui, giggling downstairs talking about whatever it is ten year old girls talk about. I walked into the kitchen and got the potato soup from the fridge, knowing she preferred it cold, and brought it upstairs with a spoon. She smiled and took the tupperware from me, happily digging into the cold stew.

I went back downstairs and made sandwiches for Jo and Jaqui which they happily took from me, devouring them. I smiled and messed with Jo's raven curls which ended in my receiving a hateful look. She really was Mari's and mine. She got the hair thing from us, no one was allowed to touch it once it was perfect. Well, unless they wanted to lose a hand.

"Call me if you guys need anything alright," I told the girls.

"Alright Mr. Barakat," Jaqui said.

"Please, call me Jack, Mr. Barakat makes me feel old."

"Can I call you Jack," Jo asked.

"No, you call me Dad," I told her.

I walked up the stairs and saw something I hadn't seen in a while. I saw Mari muttering a prayer. She wasn't necessarily spiritual but especially lately I've noticed her becoming more religious. I stood in the doorway as she lifted her head back up, a tear in the corner of her eye. I crawled into the bed, wrapping my arm around her waist.

A little cancer can't break her, her heart's right.

"Mari, what's wrong," I asked her.

"I'm so young, I mean, I don't get to see Josie through middle school, through high school. I don't get to see her graduate. I don't get to see any of that. I missed three years of her growing up and now, I'm going to miss the rest of it. She's my baby, my only baby and I was so selfish that I'm going to leave her," she said softly.

"Don't you dare call yourself selfish. You haven't noticed Josie have you, she has some screaming abilities. Did you notice that she's screaming death metal now? She wants to make you proud of her, that's all she's ever wanted.She looks at you like you hung the moon and stars in the sky. You are her hero, stay strong for her please," I whispered against her hair.

"Jack, can you get me my laptop, I need to make an announcement on our band page."

I stood up grabbing the laptop , the tears she had been holding back began to fall as she began to type. I always loved what she wrote, she spoke one way and wrote another. She kept shaking her head as if she was trying to come up with the right words. I knew exactly what she was doing, I was going to wonder when she was going to do this.

She hit a key hard and pulled the lid down, her eyes filled with tears. I pulled out my phone and pulled up her bands page. There was a long article typed out and I knew what it was going to say but I read it anyway.

For all of our fans,
I'm sorry to inform you that I, Marianna Thretcher, will not return with Nicki and Austin once the band comes back form hiatus. We did not have a falling out, in fact we are still close friends. While they were starting with making their families I was returned with mine. However I am not leaving due to family commitments.

As some of you may know I was diagnosed with stage four diaphragm cancer. Due to this the guys and I have been looking and we feel like I feel like I will be leaving Dead Ocean in very capable hands. Please try to make the new vocalist, Dana Witters, feel welcome. She is the most qualified woman I have ever met so don't worry about this band dying with me, she will make this band live.

A tear from my cheek, I remember her telling me about Dana. I remember her mentioning how amazing she was, how they sounded very similar (both cleans and screams) so it wouldn't be as awkward for the listeners. She still cared about her fans, she had never stopped caring.

"I love you Mari," I whispered to her.

"I love you too Jay," she whispered back.

That's the only way to go fightin' the good fight til' the Lord calls you home.

Notes

It's been a really sucky day so I can't write a happy chapter so I'm sorry that this is super depressing. Also, I know religion is mentioned a lot in this, it fit with the song so it happened.

Work is killer, we were short staffed and everything that could go wrong did. Which is one reason why I'm so tried, I'm also just unhappy today so...

Title and lyric credit: One Hell Of An Amen - Brantley Gilbert

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