Good as Gone.

"Welcome Home!!!!!" everyone yelled as I walked in the door and I immediately felt a smile creep onto my face knowing it would last all night. I looked around and passed my thanks. Finding Alex and tackling him for making this happen, Jack came out of nowhere and picked me up from behind making me scream.
Everyone was here, I saw my best friend Lisa was here, my friend Tay from summer camp was here, Vic and Tony, guys we met last year at Warped came too. My mom and dad even came back out, assuming Alex guilt tripped them into helping him set this up. Soon enough I found Rian and hugged him too, we talked for a while until I noticed him checking his phone and being kinda weird.
"Dude whats up?" I asked, taking a sip of my beer.
"Uh nothing, I had a friend coming from-uh school but they arent here uh yet," he stuttered.
"Oh alright, I hope they show!" trying to reassure him because this side of him was kinda creeping me out. A minute or two passed he relaxed a little bit and was smiling like an idiot out of nowhere then I heard someone running towards us but when I turned to see I was swept off my feet and dragged upstairs to my room.
Once he set me down I recognized the muscular arms and my heart started to malfunction, and my stomach to go all fuzzy, and before my eyes had time to register what was going on, he crushed his satin lips over mine and we didnt stop until we were out of breath.
"Hi," I slurred, dazed and smiling like an idiot.
"Hi," he countered as he rested his forehead on mine.
We sat, talked, cuddled and were just us for five minutes of absolute bliss. We then returned downstairs hand in hand. We walked over to join the rest of the band and the night seemed to go quite smoothly. Alex and Jack continued their shenanigans to no surprise until they looked at Zack and Rian, pulling them into the mischief. I turned and walked my parents out, thanking them numerous times for everything they had done for us, telling me to remind Alex and I that if anything goes wrong, Baltimore is always home.
After they had left I said goodbye to the last few people at the party as it was winding down, but noticed that the boys were still missing making me suspicious. My curiosity was confirmed when a marsh mellow gun was launch directly at my ass, and boy did it hurt. The boys erupted into a fit of laughter making me chase them around the apartment.
We continued like this for the rest of the night until we ran out of breath. Collapsed on the couch we each were chugging water bottles like our life depended on it. Soon after we all relaxed and started to to fall asleep on each other. I got up cleaned space for the two air mattresses our parents gave us for when Rian and Jack come, because Alex obviously has his own room and I have mine where Zack would sleep. I made up the beds with extra blankets and put the boys to bed. "Goodnight boys," I yelled down from the catwalk.
I went over to Alex's room and jumped on top of him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you for tonight Lex," I said giggling from the slight hum of alcohol in my system.
"Anything for you Dee, I know it sucked having Hannah show up so I pretended to be sick and kick her out and called everyone," he laughed.
"Wow, thanks. It means so much Lex," I smiled, kissing him on the cheek. "Goodnight, I love you." Then retreating to my room with Zack waiting for me at the end of my bed. I stopped to brush my teeth as did he, then we went to bed and everything felt right in the world. We changed into sleepwear for the night and climbed into bed.
"I love you darling," I said sleepily.
"I love you too baby," he whispered kissing my temple. After that I soon fell asleep with ease from exhaustion but also because I felt safe in his strong arms, that only seemed to be delicate for me, and as he rubbed circles into my arm he lulled me to sleep and made his way even deeper into my heart.
~*~
Today was Wednesday, my first day on the job. I got up at 9, made coffee and breakfast for Zack and I. He decided to stay for a couple days to make sure I was okay, which I was grateful for, but today he was going to go home.
It was around eleven o'clock in the morning and I walked him to his car and we said our goodbyes. I came back upstairs, cleaned up my mess from breakfast and went to shower. I came out of my room to look down and see Rian and Jack playing Halo downstairs. I rolled my eyes and continued getting ready. With a natural makeup look and some thin winged eyeliner done, I was ready to get dressed.
I wore black ripped skinny jeans with my first ever Warped T-shirt that now fit me rather tightly but made me look as skinny as I wish I was. It was a faded dark blue, worn to all extent, with the bands that played on the back plus some signatures here and there. I finished the look with a large cream colored cardigan sweater and my maroon Vans. I went to finish my hair by simply blowing it out and curling it slightly with my straightener. I grabbed my keys off the wall, along with my purse that held my wallet, sketchbooks, camera, and other girly essentials, yelled bye to the boys and was out the door by 12:30.
I walked the short three blocks to the shop and was still 15 minutes early, so I crossed the street and bought a coffee, by the time I came back Neil was there and gave me the full tour. The tour was him basically hitting on me the entire time walking around the shop. Once he finished I sat at the front desk and relaxed and little bit. I reached down in my bag to grab the one sketch book that was mostly my unofficial portfolio, which contained quotes from various sources, or lyrics that popped into my head, sketches obviously of random things and ideas or possible tats, also glued to the pages were some of my photos that very few people have seen. Thumbing through it I marked pages and sketches to copy and hang up.
The rest of the day went by pretty smoothly with people in and out at a pretty constant pace but wasn't remotely slow enough to where I could leave my desk. I reorganized the appointment book and rewrote everything for my own sanity, making me a little more comfortable in this environment.
"Wow, you did a great job today babe," Neil said as he turned the open sign off around 10 pm.
"Thanks, I was just trying to keep busy and take care of everything." I said, stuttering over my words. Not only was I verbal clumsy but I managed to launch my third cup of coffee down the front of the counter as I was trying to pack up my things. As Neil was helping me clean up the mess he noticed my 'portfolio' and started looking through it.
"Wow," he breathed. "I knew you were a decent artist but I didn't know you were this good. You quoted yourself, and damn you can take some good pictures. Wow," he repeated. I blushed, not knowing what to say. "Mind if I hold onto this?" he asked. "Ive got some buddies that would kill to see amazing work like this, they own galleries, shops, you name it and honey your name will be all over this town."
"Yeah sure, thats fine" I said dumb founded, half the thing I did in there were just hobbies. "I gotta get home though, do you need me to do anything else?"
"No darling you're fine, see you Saturday." he said, still looking down at the book. "I will put you on the schedule next week, glad to have you here Dev."
"Okay, goodnight Neil, and thanks for everything." I breathed and started my walk home.
~*~
"Dee!" his voiced echoed through our flat.
"Alex, shh! We already have had one noise complaint, we live like super close to people now." I whisper yelled back. "What is it this time?!"
"Two things my darling sister." he said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Great," I muttered.
"Hey now keep your pretty little head up. Are you dressed? Like more than your boy short underwear and a see through shirt?" he questioned, as he walked into the soon to be living room, to see me on the couch in one of Zack's sweatshirts and some cheeky underwear.
"Not really, why? I don't have to work today."
"Well Devon, while I was in the lift today I met our handsome neighbor, and he is coming over in like five minutes." he said.
"Lex! This place is a mess, there are boxes everywhere, and for the last time stop trying to set me up! Your interpretation of 'handsome' and mine are very different. I mean for god sake, you think present day Madonna is hot. And plus I'm with Zack stupid."
"You really are a control freak, I don't know how Zack handles you," he teased.
" You're an ass, have fun with the neighbor." I called over my shoulder in a very harsh tone as I walked to continue unpacking and setting up my room. Yes Zack and I had agreed to make the distance work, because after all it wasn't a horrible amount of distance. It was so strange being in love. It's like you're obsessed with one person and don't care about any other person in your life. As long as you have them, you're okay.
Once we had gotten the rest of our furniture inside, we had agreed to paint the living room, hallway and foyer first, then the kitchen and bathrooms, then the bedrooms. I loved the setup of the apartment, we had vaulted ceilings in the living room that were level with the second floor bedrooms ceilings. Once you got in our front door there was a small landing that led to an archway, stairs, and a doorway, which was the half bath downstairs.
Through the archway, it brought you into our living room that thankfully was on the larger side, and with three of the four walls being brick, that was going to be easy to paint. From there, you went into the kitchen that was of decent quality and size, compared to the other flats we looked at this place was a Beverly Hills home. Back to the landing, there is an iron spiral staircase that led up to the catwalk that looked over the living room and met the two bedrooms and the full bath in between them. I love it, and I was so happy to finally be in my new city.
I was laying in my bed, texting Lisa when I heard voices and figured that the neighbor was here. I got up turned on my Mayday Parade Pandora station and continued to fold clothes, untangle jewelry, and hang various things in my closet.
Once I was finished unpacking and putting things away I sat down on my bed and was online shopping for apartment essentials while listening to Fall Out Boy Pandora and soon after I feel asleep. I woke up around 3 am Saturday and headed downstairs for food, only to be greeted by Hannah on my couch.
"Oh wow, I thought I heard an elephant walking around." she teased. I kept walking toward the kitchen, ignoring her persistent and degrading comments. I put a sandwich together as fast as I could and headed back to my room only to endure more shitty remarks.
"You know, you shouldn't have to deal with me much longer," she teased with her voice booming through the empty apartment like she was addressing a grand crowd, this peeking my curiosity. "Well because with Alex wrapped around my finger I think I could convince him that we need our own place and leave you and this dump behind. Or I guess just convince him to have me move in and kick you out; either way you will be nothing more than a shitty memory from his past." she giggled, making my blood boil.
"If I do recall Hannah my name is the only one on the lease, so this is my apartment that Alex owns a room in for when he is home. So technically I could kick you out at any given moment." I ended that statement with a cute giggle to match her own,
~*~
It was Saturday. I woke up on the floor. I had slept in. I was going to be late for work. I headed to the bathroom locking the door behind me, I quickly made work of my makeup in less than ten minutes. I dressed myself in an all black long sleeve shirt, covering up with an army looking camo jacket and a white skater skirt. I grabbed my bag and my maroon Vans and went downstairs. I was gonna be so late. I headed
Yes, it was just a tattoo shop but it was also a very respected, well known, and popular shop. Neil probably wouldn't care that I was late due to me being fifteen minutes early on Wednesday, plus I really needed this job.
I had met most of the artists, the only other girl there took quite a liking to me, due to the fact that she was, and I quote, "Being drowned in testosterone." She was a bubbly person, with no visible tats. She was the one girl that I could see being the goody-two-shoes, church girl, daddy's princess type in high school. From what I learned, she was the daddy's princess and thats about it.
With a history of petty crimes and minor charges by the age of 16, she was sent to a boarding school in upstate New York to be 'reformed'. Obviously it was a form of punishment but she ended up loving it, she explained that she too had been sent away from Essex, also my birthplace, she joked that if I had never moved maybe we could have been friends.
Once she graduated with high marks, much like mine, she opened her trust fund and came to Georgetown on a half scholarship and was studying human resources and accounting. She argued that accounting was for her to fall back on if she ever fucked up in life, and that way she still had a degree to fall back on. Once we had a drunken weekend drinking cosmos and me annoying Alex and her shamelessly hitting on him.
I headed to the kitchen to get some to-go coffee, but was greeted with my family of favorite band players minus Zack, plus some unfamiliar faces. I walked into the room with no one noticing me, and I crept up behind Jack and jumped on his back.
"Fuck!" I clung to him with all my strength, and started giggling like a crazy person. "Babydoll!" he shouted as soon as he realized it was me who attacked him.
"Jacky I thought you guys left," I set my feet back on the floor, but held my grip tight. Work, I'm so late.
"Devon!" Rian had reentered the room and was running over to me, and pulling me away from Jack, he lifting me off the ground, spinning me around while my giggling just increased.
"Rian! She was mine first!" Jack protested.
"I am an independent woman and I own myself you assholes. But my boss is going to have my head if I am late." I stated, a bit sarcastically, as I pushed my way out of Rian's arms.
"Speak it like the truth." Alex shouted.
"Words hurt babe." Jack said, putting a hand to his chest, faking hurt. Naturally I punched him, being one of the boys was so second nature to me, I was never quite the girly type.
Once I felt an arm sling around my frame, I retreated from my slap fight with Jack. "Anyway Neil is completely falling for you and our gorgeous genes, you won't be in any trouble, he is a pushover anyways." Alex argued. My heart ached for Zack, and how much I missed him.
"Dev, this is our new neighbor I mentioned earlier, not that you care, this place is a mess. Devon meet Adam." he teased. I waved politely before turning to Alex and scolding him for being a douche bag.
"I fucking told you this place was a mess. Maybe you can get Hannah to do something around here!" I joked, but he knew I was slightly serious. "Nice to meet you Adam," I smiled as I pulled him into a hug.
"Hey its no big deal, mine isn't much better." Adam joked. I will admit Adam was easy on the eyes, with his perfect tan/olive skin and freckles, not to mention his gorgeous green eyes, and his voice had the capability of turning me on, for example like right now. The boys erupted in laughter at my outburst. Alex laughed and put his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"I apologize for this one, such a potty mouth. Devon we have guests over, don't fucking swear." Alex said to Adam before turning to me and resting his head in the crook of my neck, the rest of our company laughing.
"You guys make a cute couple, like wow." Adam said and then silence fell. This happened all the time, strangers often thought Alex and I were together, even though we looked practically identical, just of different gender. To say the least it had become a popular joke within the band when it happened to either me and Lex or even better when it happened to Jack and Alex, and Hannah hated it, so naturally I loved when it happened.
In sync all of us had fell into a laughing attack, to the point where you're crying and clapping like a seal, yeah that, or at least that is what happened to me, and it only made me laugh harder when Alex puckered his lips towards me. Jack and Alex had spilt their beer, and were currently swearing like sailors. Once we all had recuperated and were some what normal, I explained to Adam, with the help of Rian, that Alex and I were twins. No one had noticed Hannah walk in, but it was clear she saw everything and she was pissed about it.
"Really? They honestly look the same and only one of them it attractive. Its pretty obvious, and even if Alex was dating her and they weren't twins it would just be a pity party for her." her words cut like knives into my skin that were already scarred, her comments like these made me want to open them back up. I took in a deep breathe, Alex did too, because this was the first time she had ever insulted me harshly in front of him.
"Hannah, what a joy!!!" Jack shouted sarcastically, taking the attention off of me and what she had just said. "Soo great you could have made it. We really missed you sooo much. You contribute such wonderful and insightful information to our discussion." his words dripped with sarcasm. Then he ran up to her and hugged her, okay, squeezed her so hard he could have probably broke some ribs. By now, once again thanks to Jack, I had forgot her insults.
"Jack put me down!" she screamed, only dooming herself.
"Okay," and with that Jack threw her a good two feet in the air and let her fall to the ground, landing on her hands and knees. Everyone, even Alex was laughing. If she wasnt pissed she definitely was now. She then made a scene and went upstairs to Alex's room.
"Oh joy, glad I dont have to be here all day," I laughed. "Fuck."
"Girl, go to work already!" Rian yelled at me. I laughed and kissed Alex's cheek and left.
~*~
Alex was right unfortunately, Neil wasn't mad at all, due to business being scary slow for a Saturday. I sat at my raised desk, it was at the perfect level so that when people walked in, I was eye level with them. I was doodling when I felt a presence behind me, I turned around to face Zeia.
"Bitch, you scared the piss out of me."
"That was the point love. Anyways, what are you doing on this fine Saturday night?" she asked laughing.
"Well the boys are staying the weekend-"
"Great I'm coming over!" she stated and kissed my cheek before she left me.
"Sure you can invite yourself over! I would love to have you!" I yelled at her. Sometimes I was so sarcastic to the point where I don't know if I'm joking or not.
"Someone has to save your brother from his girlfriend," she joked with a wink.
"What's her problem?" Evan asked approaching me, he was one of the artists that I knew but wasn't close with but he liked most of the sketches that I had provided so I figured he couldn't be that bad of a guy.
"I have no idea." I muttered shaking my head.
"So have you heard of the band All Time Low?" I probably looked mentally deficient or something, because my jaw fell to the floor and I was at a loss for words. Luckily I don't think he noticed my reaction, so he was just staring at me expectantly.
"Yeah, I have heard rumors here and there." I said flatly.
"Well you see, I was wondering if you would be interested in going to one of their first official shows. Its like Monday night, so you can think about it if you want. I was given the tickets as a gift and can't find a date." Devon, he is flirting, play nice. Jack's words echoed in my head, they were the first hint that I had ever got that Zack was into me, and ended up wincing at the memory as my heart ached for him to be just down the road again. "I was so happy for them when the news dropped of them being signed to Hopeless." Again, mentally deficient, loss for words. "Apparently they have almost a whole album written, it just needs to be recorded and all that jazz." He was rambling, and I was in shock.
Okay, maybe I didn't tell anyone who exactly was my brother, but before this rarely anyone saw our vlogs, none of us were noticed in public or in general. We were the cast of outcasts, and each of us had a place for one another. "Yeah, let me get back to you tomorrow."
"Okay sounds cool."
~*~
I went home with Zeia, avoiding the boys and hoping they didn't hear us come in. We went up to my room only to find Zack on my bed with flowers. "Get out," I said with tears falling from my eyes, and my voice drenched with hate.
"Dev? Whats wrong?" he cooed.
"Get out," I screamed, watching his face fill with worry and heartache.
"Im here when you wanna talk baby, I love you," he got up kissed my temple and left without saying another word, but leaving his flowers behind.
To say the least I was pissed, anger and rage pumped through my blood like my life depended on it. I completely supported them and everything, since day fucking one. Why would Alex keep this from me? In hopes to calm myself down, I did what I loved to do, eat too much ice cream, draw and watch Nightmare Before Christmas. Soon enough Alex would get the hint, check my schedule which was on the fridge, and see that I was home. But all of me right now was so pissed that I hoped being with the boys would take away his newfound responsibility and that he would forget about me. Since Alex and I were settled we promised to at least text each other if we hadn't heard from them that day, I usually texted Alex when I would be walking home from work.
It was then that I let Zeia know everything. The band. The tickets. The show. The tour. I spilled everything from the first day of middle school in the US, to the day I got my letter. Even to the day we moved in and I got the job.
I was about an hour into my drawing and the end credits of Nightmare were playing for the third time. Zeia got up and opened the door, revealing the last person I wanted to see right now. "Who the fuck are you?!" he asked shocked that it wasn't me answering the door.
"Your worst nightmare, now what the fuck do you want?!" she threatened. He stood there like a deer in headlights. "Words please, or leave."
"Talk to me honey, what's wrong?" he cooed, coming towards me and pushed past Zeia. I nodded towards Zeia letting her know it was okay he was here and she gathered her stuff and told me she was going to hit on Alex and to come get me if I needed her.
"How could you not tell me Jay? Why?" to say the least I exploded. "I have always supported you and the guys, from the fucking beginning. What on earth possessed you to think that it would even be remotely okay if you didn't tell me that you guys got signed to Fearless from the moment you put the pen down?" All I was met with was silence, and it was deafening.
"Devon-"
"No Jack, I don't want excuses, I want a fucking explanation. I deserve that at the very least."
"Listen, Dev, we didn't tell you because they can't afford to bring you on the tour too. Believe me, I was beyond pissed, and Alex was and still is broken." he paused. "Babydoll, say something." the bastard and his nicknames. He moved closer to me and put his arm around me, pulling me closer to his lanky form. I pushed him off.
"Jay, the fact that I was invited to your show, and that I had to find out from someone else that my brother and my closest friends are fucking leaving for months at a time, well to say the least I'm pissed. Please just go before I do something that I will regret." I screamed. I slid out from under his arm again, hitting him and pushing him away from me. He made more attempts to calm me down, but I continuously shot him down while rage pumped through my arms telling me to keep hitting him.
"I can't believe you won't hear me out, Devon. I thought you were the mature one." he muttered.
"No Jack, I can't believe you." I shoved at his chest again. "I have been there from the very beginning, like literally. I have every right to be mad and pissed or whatever. The band is my family and I have always been there when you needed me. I might have acted happy for you guys if maybe you decided to tell me something! Instead of letting me find out from a douche bag at my work. You have no idea, nor will you ever, how much this hurts. I care so much Jack, yes of course, I'm happy for you guys, I'm so proud. Like beyond belief, Congratulations. But there is a saying that to get to the top you have to step on the bottom. Thats how I feel now Jack, I feel used, stepped on and forgotten. So for once I have an excuse to be immature, so please just leave me alone." I was yelling now, with tears running down my face. I had stepped towards him with rage pumping my blood, I slapped Jack, hard, leaving him with a red outline of my hand and what later would turn into a black eye. I balled up my fists letting the anger get the best of me and threw my fist towards him again, but a hand stopped my own. "Devon, dont."
Zack pulled me into his broad frame, holding my arms down at my sides while I continued to fight like hell, hitting him even. "Get out." he yelled, shocking even the normal side of me, because Zack was normally rather quiet I heard Jack sigh and whisper a last 'I'm sorry,' before leaving with Zeia, who returned after hearing the commotion. Zack pulled me into my room, shutting the door behind us. He said nothing, but was just there and comforted me like no one else could, not even Alex. "I fucking hate you." I choked out, sobbing into his chest.
"I know honey, I know." he whispered, drawing shapes onto my back.

Notes

comment please, im going crazy.