I wish I could, but I promised that I would go check up on my friend

Okay well I hope your friend is okay. I'll let you go. You probably have something going on

Okay. I have a friend over so I'll text you when he leaves

Okay. Have fun

Byeee

I put my phone in my pocket and turned to face Vic

"I'm sorry that was rude of me. Where were we" I asked

"It's no biggie. What's new" he asked again

"Today or since we last hung out" I tilted my head

"Both." He shrugged

"Well today I kissed this really hot chick for the first time" I lied

"Really. Who?" He asked

"You don't know her she is a few years older then we are" I smiled

"Damn. Really" Vic sat up

"Yeah" I copied Vic

"So what's been new since we last hung out"

"I landed myself in the hospital a few times. My mom took off without telling tom or I. My dad tried to contact me a few times. You know. Normal stuff" I giggled

"Shit man. Speaking of hospitals what happened over the last few days" I knew he was going to ask about it

"I cut and lost a bunch of blood. I was also super anemic because of being a little underweight. While I was there I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anorexia" I explained

"Can I see them" he asked gesturing to my wrists

As I peeled the layers of cotton as Vic shimmied out of his sweater and threw it on his shoes by the door. When all that was left were bare arms I felt naked and instinctively crossed my arms

"How many do you have now" Vic asked hesitantly

"200 something" I said softly

He didn't really say anything he just looked really sad and sighed

"You can't keep doing this" he said after some time

"I know" I looked at my hands

"I know I'm a hypocrite but you could die if you kept going" he sounded very concerned

"That's what I wanted. I know it's selfish but I just didn't want to live" I frowned

"I know. I've been there too." He reached out and touched my leg

"I feel you bruh" I smiled

"No I feel you. Literally" he laughed as he looked at his hand on my knee

"Hey can I tell you something." I asked


"Sure" he took his hand off my leg

"You have to promise not to tell anyone. Like EVER" I emphasized

"We have been friends for how long. And how many things have you told me that I've kept a secret" he said

"Okay. Well here it goes" I breathed " I kissed jack today"

"Dude" he leaned back

"Yeah" I smiled

"Is he a good kisser" he laughed

"Yeah" I exhaled

"Get it lex. I have always known you were into dudes" he giggled

"Since when" I could feel my cheeks redden

"Since you moved here. I could tell through the way you looked at some guys, remember Luke. The British transfer from fifth grade. You had the biggest crush on him" he smiled

"Yeah. You're right. He is such a good kisser. Oh my god. Like damn" I rubbed the back of my neck

"I mean you're legal and everything so go for it" Vic pushed my shoulder

"I don't even know what he is. Definitely to hot to be gay but to flamboyant to be straight" I was flustered

"He could be Bi or even Pan" Vic suggested

"Yeah I guess. I don't even know what I am" I questioned

"Well do you like guys or girls" he asked

"I like guys but now that I'm thinking of it I don't really know if I like girls. I've always dated them because they like me and such." I thought

"Are you gay" Vic asked

"I don't know. Maybe. It's a definite possibility" I smiled

"Well just remember that you don't have to rush into labeling yourself. I didn't come out until I
truly knew what I was" Vic leaned back in my bed

"I remember. Seventh grade was interesting for you I take it" I laughed

"Oh yeah. But I got a lot out of it" he smiled

"I know. You took luke from me" I smacked his leg

"Yeah but now I have Elliot and him and I are as happy as can be" he grinned

"I was so jealous when you came out, you know" I got off my bed and went to the record player in the corner

"I figured. But now you can make your own impact on school. You can finally be yourself. I can see you. You have suppressed who you really are" Vic took out his phone

"Yeah. Once I 'dated' jamie from the cheer team in freshman year, everything changed for me. She made me popular" I frowned

"Yeah. You dumped all your old friend for football players and most of all you dumped me and Austin, you're best friends" I felt really bad even though his tone wasn't mean

"Yeah I know. But that's going to change" I smiled

"So you're actually going to talk to us now" he gasped playfully

"Yeah. I don't know why I dropped you guys. Being popular is boring as fuck." I laughed

"Okay. Well I have to go home. My dad is going to be pissed if I'm late for dinner" Vic got up off my bed and walked to the door putting his shoes on

"Hey I'll walk you out" I got up and we walked downstairs to the fourier

"It's nice to see the old Alex back." He smiled and opened the door

"It's good to be back" I smiled

"See you Monday" Vic left and I wandered out to the deck where tom was sitting drinking a glass of white wine

"God you're so gay" I exclaimed leaning against the railing

"I'm more straight then you are. Homo" tom laughed

"So you heard the conversation with Vic" I asked

"What. No. I've know you were not straight since you were six" he got up to turn the steaks

"Yeah. I still don't really know what I am to be honest" I smiled

"I did hear you talking about Jack. Is he really a good kisser" my heart sank

"Yeah" I shyly rubbed the back of my neck

"You two would be cute together" tom smiled

"You think so" I asked

"Yeah. You and him would actually be a good match. You are super alike but also different" he took a sip of his wine

"You think so" I asked

"Yeah. How was the kiss. Rough. Soft." He questioned

"Which one" I laughed

"How many times did you kiss" tom smiled

"Three times." I giggled

"Oh he likes you. Were they rough" he inquired

"The last one was." I smiled as my butt buzzed

Hey Jack texted

Hey jay I texted back

What's up


Hanging out with tom. What about you

Nothing. Thinking of earlier


Same. I told tom.

What. You told Tom

Yeah. It came up in our conversation

What did he say

He thinks we would be cute together

I think we would be cute together too

I'm still not sure what I identify as. I was talking with Vic and he seems to think I'm gay. And I'm
thinking I am too. I think we would be good together too. I'm just not ready to come out

It's okay. I respect that.

You do. I thought you would be mad

No never. I don't want to push anything on anyone

Thanks for understanding. I'm still not exactly sure what to call us.

We can be whatever you want. Anything is okay with me.

Let me ask tom what he thinks

Okay :)

"Hey tom." I asked

"Yeah" he responded

"What do you think Jack and I should be. Both of us are okay with anything but don't want to rush it" I responded

"Friends with benefits seems to fit the most in whatever situation you have"

"Okay thanks" I said as I went inside

Notes

sorry guys, ive been trying to upload all of this story for a while but i havent had any wifi and it's so long that i have another section in this story that i cant upload in this page because of a line limit or whatever. sorry for the long wait but here is part two of somethings gotta give. part three will be up right after i put this up