I sit in the dressing room, thankful I finally set up all of Alex's gear, with the help of Alex and some of the other crew members. The band guys are at the meet and greet, though I was invited to join them I didn't find myself interested in standing in the back of a throng of screaming fangirls. I really only performed with the guys once and been recognized fewer times. By my live performance at least.
"Hanna?!" I hear somebody call from always off,
"HERE!" I scream back. Matt peers into the doorway, his hair tousled and out of place. His eyes wide from stress?
"Hey gorgeous." He chuckles, "they have quite the fans here." Matt plops himself down on the couch next to me and throws an arm over my shoulders. I hold a notebook in my lap that I bought earlier today to write or doodle. A small drawing of a snake coming out of the page, it's jaws open wide and a heart coming out of its throat. It has thick lipstick on that I imagine to be pink. I got the idea from the lyric 'Snake bite heart and a bubble gum smile' from All Time Lows song Lost In Sterio. I guess I just thought it was a good idea and a interesting lyric.
"Whatcha doin?" Matt smiles and bumps me gently when I don't respond.
"Just drawing, trying to relax a bit before the show." I shrug and lean into him slightly, my eyes remain on the drawing, for some reason when I got off the bus today I got this sick feeling in my gut. The way I felt when I was at home and it'd make me want to shut myself off from the world. Listen to music and cry, cry until I couldn't anymore and sometimes cry until I grew new scars.
"It's really cool." Matt hugs me tighter with his one arm clearly immune to my sad mood. "Just for fun?" He puts a finger on my chin and gently try's to nudge me. Hinting to look over at him. I, like the stubborn mule I am, hold my gaze and head in place. Looking down at the drawing. I don't want to look up at him, because he makes me happy and I don't want to feel batter right now. I mean its understandable right?
"Yeah." I sigh giving myself into conversation, "i don't see any way I could use it though." Matt smiles, pleased to get a decent response.
"Well, it could be a t-shirt pattern. Or maybe a tattoo, or maybe a... Earring?" He raises an eyebrow. "Maybe your calling is in fashion." He grins widely and pecks my neck. I tear my gaze off the notebook to look up at him.
"It'd be a pretty damn cool tattoo." I smile, mostly just to please Matthew. I close the notebook and push it aside before turning to face him fully.
"We probably should go to the stage. Double check, be sure everything it ready. Plus, be ready. If Alex is feeling it he might ask you to play remembering Sunday with him and you and I are up for Dear Maria." Matt slides his arm from around my shoulders to stand up. He holds a hand out to me expectantly. I nod and put my hand in his, he wraps his fingers around mine and pulls me to my feet before starting down the hallway, towing me behind.
"The meet and greet is almost over. The doors will be opening in ten minutes. Double check your tuning on all of the guitars. Then go see if Vinny needs help setting up the merch stand." Matt orders to me just before we reach the concert hall. It's amazing how his expression changes so quickly. Hard and authoritative to soft and loving. "Thanks." He pecks my forehead before dropping my hand and jogging over to the sound and light booth.
By the time I finish tuning the kids from the meet and greet have already taken their place pressed up against the barricade. Security guards in bright yellow shirts stand along the stage watching them with intimidating expressions.
"You ready?" I jump and turn to find Zack standing behind me with a small smile on his face and a dark grey v-neck shirt that hugs his body tightly.
"I should be asking you." I laugh awkwardly
"I have been doing this longer then you." His smile spreads with a wiggle of his brow.
"Yeah, I think I'm good." I can't help but return with a small smile.
"Awesome. Come on though, we have to let the opening guys do their thing." He puts a hand on my shoulder and gently tugs on it. I nod and turn to follow him. We make our way to the dressing room where Jack already sits with a glass of wine, Alex is sprawled out next to him passed the fuck out. Pre show nap I guess.

Notes

Hey you guys! Long time no see! I wa just at a camp and I am back bitches.

Thursday I'm starting another camp though at McNally smith college of music... Well we have a few more days together!