I stand in the dressing room looking at my reflection, The whole day was a little bit disappointing. We arrived in Minneapolis this morning and met up with some of my female friends. We really had nothing to do and Matthew ended up having to save us by getting a call from Alex. The girls went to the show and left as soon as they could. Of course none of my old guy friends came. I don’t blame them either. I was only a pain in the ass to them.


“Sarah told Kellen you liked him after you left” I looked back at Matt who stood talking to Maya casually. I turned to face Katie full on,
“That doesn’t matter now…” I sigh and close my eyes, I push hair back from my face remembering his face. A warm feeling fills my gut, not because I was in love with him. But because I love Matt.
“But what he said will. Babe,” She sighs and puts her hands on my cheeks. “He was talking to Hunter and he said he was ready to kill himself he was so ashamed to have that… connection with you….”
“Shut up.” I snap at her


I stare myself down in the mirror measuring my flaws. My nose that doesn’t quite fit right, my lips that are wide and full but hardly extend out further then the corners of my nose. I pull my shirt off and look at the obvious love handles and small gut I have been desperately trying to get rid of for years.
My thighs are larger and though Matt has complimented my ass I know I have thunder thighs. People at school wouldn’t let me forget that.


“Just forget Kellen, He’s a huge asshole.” Maya is my best friend. For the longest time ever. “It doesn’t matter what he says behind your back. I mean look at you.” She giggles histerically, “Look at you. Dating an older man. Going on tour with a band who can’t even dream of being half as good as one ninth of them.” I let a small smile escape my lips.
“Jewish asshole.” I mutter and hold a hand out to her which she squeezes gently


“Hanna!” Matt runs into the room behind me. “Get beautiful.” He runs into me and wraps his arms around me pulls me back into him. His hands slide up the inside of my shirt where I have it pulled up slightly.
“What?” I laugh and turn to face him slightly,
“Jack is having boob withdrawl and because I said he couldn’t grope you… We’re going to a club. Maybe a few.” He chuckles, “Just get ready to go dancing. Maybe a little but of drinking.” He pecks my neck before turning around,
“Just be ready!”


“So.. that’s your boyfriend Matt…” Christine giggles looking back at him. She brought her boyfriend Charlie who is a musical stage manager at our school. “He seems really sweet.” I nod at her,
“I know, I spent the night at his house.” I smile at her with a small bite of my lip.
“OH MY GOD! Did you…” Her eyes widen and she reaches forward grabbing my wrists.
“No, not yet.” I laugh and look down at my hands, “You know him and I have been something for at least a few weeks… He hasn’t said ‘I love you’ yet…”
“Don’t worry about it. He’ll come around. Maybe you should make the first move…”


Could Matt not be interested in me anymore? Apparantly I’m worth killing myself over. Not in a good way either.

Notes

A boy actually said that about me. And I fell apart. I hope you guys like this, I don't know how i'm doing.

Like/Comment/Subscribe