Who likes simple
Can't go a night.
*August 8, 2013*
*Thursday*
I take a deep breath hardly believing what I’m about to do, I don’t know if what Jack was hinting was true. I feel like I want him to say that it is true. But I guess I’m also afraid that he will. I haven’t ever been able to trust guys after my past ‘Boyfriends’. One was an online relationship, he had three girlfriends during our relationship at one point.
“Jack would just drop hints that maybe you…” I clear my throat and dare a good long look at him, he flicks at his lip ring with his teeth, his brown eyes feel like they pierce through my blue ones.
“Well, He made It kind of sound like you… Maybe had a thing for me” I can feel my cheeks get hot and are probably a deep shade of red. Matt tears his eyes off of me and looks down into his lap.
“I… uhm…” He stutters, “I don’t know how to answer that…” He locks eyes with me again looking at me intensely. “I like you Hanna, but I don’t want it to sound like I’m in love with you or have a huge desire to sleep with you. Not that you’re not attractive, I mean you’re hot.” He blushes and struggles for words, “I mean you’re an attractive-” He cuts himself off and crunches his face up in annoyance with himself.
“Thank you,” I laugh “I think.” I watch him, his cheeks are red and his eyebrows are furrowed like they were when he was working. He lets out a short labored breath, clearly nervous about something, what if this was it? When I started my first adult relationship. I will admit I got excited. Hopeful and amazed that a guy like Matthew Flyzik might consider me a potential girlfriend? In all honesty, all the ‘Relationships’ I’d been in it was me who had to ask him. My heart starts to flutter imagining everything while Matt gathers his thoughts. Matt smiles at me and reaches over to take my hand. I squeeze his and keep my smile contained somehow.
“Hanna, I guess I was worried that if I were to say something, we wouldn’t be able to tour easily with you, I don’t think I can be your boss and have that sort of relationship with you.” Matt nods and half smiles at m sympathetically. I curl my fingers and pull my hand away from Matts slowly.
“I see.” When I speak my voice is clearly heavy and sad, I watch as Matt sinks back into his seat.
“What can I get you two?” A preppy looking teen blonde stands at the table. I sit back as Matt orders us drinks.
“Matt, Why don’t we just take our food to go. I’m not in the mood for sitting down to a meal.” Matt nods at me apologetically, he waves the waitress over ordering us some sort of platter.
By the time we make it back to the apartment complex, we haven’t said a word, and I regret any feeling of hope that I for Matt and I, but I can’t help thinking about it.
I guess sub consciously I’ve always wished that I would be able to have a thing with Matt. He guides me up to Jacks room, he trys to speak to me again but I ignore any conversation he tries to start. I speak once we get to Jacks apartment,
“Just Matthew, I understand why you feel that way. I guess I just need some time to be alone.” I smile at him before pushing in the doorway leaving him standing in the hall not giving him the opportunity to respond. I lean against the door and close my eyes taking a deep breath to calm down.
“Hello?” I hear Alex from his part of the apartment(s).
“It’s just me!” I call back to him glad that I can manage to sound normal. He pops his head through the door.
“You’re back early. I thought you and Matt were on a first D-A-T-E.” He chuckles and walks into the room fully. I feel my heart throb a little bit inside of me Dammit Hanna what are you doing? What the fuck has gotten into you? I compose myself and pull my shoes off walking into the kitchen passing Alex.
“He actually just informed me that if I was to keep my job working as your guitar tech, he and I can’t be in a relationship. He says it’s because he’s my boss.” I lean forward and rest my elbows on the kitchen counter, Alex stays quiet though I’m not sure what he’s doing. A moment later I hear his phone ring. Allleeeeeeeex. ALEX. HEY. HEY. HEY ALEX. Jacks voice, must be a specialized ringtone.
“Yeup he did.” I listen to the one side of the conversation, “Just get Rian to talk to him, he’s the best with their types ... We seriously can’t let him just ditch her… It’s been three months, you know how he’d look when you talked about her.” I groan realizing they’re talking about me.
“I’m seriously going to get sick of this.” I mutter under my breath as I make my way back to the gust bedroom, I lock the door behind me just wanting privacy. I seriously can’t spend a night here and not have there be some sort of drama dammit.
*Thursday*
I take a deep breath hardly believing what I’m about to do, I don’t know if what Jack was hinting was true. I feel like I want him to say that it is true. But I guess I’m also afraid that he will. I haven’t ever been able to trust guys after my past ‘Boyfriends’. One was an online relationship, he had three girlfriends during our relationship at one point.
“Jack would just drop hints that maybe you…” I clear my throat and dare a good long look at him, he flicks at his lip ring with his teeth, his brown eyes feel like they pierce through my blue ones.
“Well, He made It kind of sound like you… Maybe had a thing for me” I can feel my cheeks get hot and are probably a deep shade of red. Matt tears his eyes off of me and looks down into his lap.
“I… uhm…” He stutters, “I don’t know how to answer that…” He locks eyes with me again looking at me intensely. “I like you Hanna, but I don’t want it to sound like I’m in love with you or have a huge desire to sleep with you. Not that you’re not attractive, I mean you’re hot.” He blushes and struggles for words, “I mean you’re an attractive-” He cuts himself off and crunches his face up in annoyance with himself.
“Thank you,” I laugh “I think.” I watch him, his cheeks are red and his eyebrows are furrowed like they were when he was working. He lets out a short labored breath, clearly nervous about something, what if this was it? When I started my first adult relationship. I will admit I got excited. Hopeful and amazed that a guy like Matthew Flyzik might consider me a potential girlfriend? In all honesty, all the ‘Relationships’ I’d been in it was me who had to ask him. My heart starts to flutter imagining everything while Matt gathers his thoughts. Matt smiles at me and reaches over to take my hand. I squeeze his and keep my smile contained somehow.
“Hanna, I guess I was worried that if I were to say something, we wouldn’t be able to tour easily with you, I don’t think I can be your boss and have that sort of relationship with you.” Matt nods and half smiles at m sympathetically. I curl my fingers and pull my hand away from Matts slowly.
“I see.” When I speak my voice is clearly heavy and sad, I watch as Matt sinks back into his seat.
“What can I get you two?” A preppy looking teen blonde stands at the table. I sit back as Matt orders us drinks.
“Matt, Why don’t we just take our food to go. I’m not in the mood for sitting down to a meal.” Matt nods at me apologetically, he waves the waitress over ordering us some sort of platter.
By the time we make it back to the apartment complex, we haven’t said a word, and I regret any feeling of hope that I for Matt and I, but I can’t help thinking about it.
I guess sub consciously I’ve always wished that I would be able to have a thing with Matt. He guides me up to Jacks room, he trys to speak to me again but I ignore any conversation he tries to start. I speak once we get to Jacks apartment,
“Just Matthew, I understand why you feel that way. I guess I just need some time to be alone.” I smile at him before pushing in the doorway leaving him standing in the hall not giving him the opportunity to respond. I lean against the door and close my eyes taking a deep breath to calm down.
“Hello?” I hear Alex from his part of the apartment(s).
“It’s just me!” I call back to him glad that I can manage to sound normal. He pops his head through the door.
“You’re back early. I thought you and Matt were on a first D-A-T-E.” He chuckles and walks into the room fully. I feel my heart throb a little bit inside of me Dammit Hanna what are you doing? What the fuck has gotten into you? I compose myself and pull my shoes off walking into the kitchen passing Alex.
“He actually just informed me that if I was to keep my job working as your guitar tech, he and I can’t be in a relationship. He says it’s because he’s my boss.” I lean forward and rest my elbows on the kitchen counter, Alex stays quiet though I’m not sure what he’s doing. A moment later I hear his phone ring. Allleeeeeeeex. ALEX. HEY. HEY. HEY ALEX. Jacks voice, must be a specialized ringtone.
“Yeup he did.” I listen to the one side of the conversation, “Just get Rian to talk to him, he’s the best with their types ... We seriously can’t let him just ditch her… It’s been three months, you know how he’d look when you talked about her.” I groan realizing they’re talking about me.
“I’m seriously going to get sick of this.” I mutter under my breath as I make my way back to the gust bedroom, I lock the door behind me just wanting privacy. I seriously can’t spend a night here and not have there be some sort of drama dammit.
Notes
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10/29/13