All I Ever Wanted

It had been a couple days since I told Alex I wasn't ready to be with him. I was laying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling as I wiped at my eyes. Crying was becoming a constant thing since Noah's visit. How was I supposed to cope? What do people who are heartbroken do with themselves? What was I supposed to do? What if Alex did the same thing to me? I knew he wouldn't do that, though.

How was he coping? After all, it was my boyfriend that was making out with his girlfriend. I sighed in frustration as I sat up in bed. It may have been two in the morning, but that wasn't going to stop me from seeing Alex when I needed him. I texted him, asking him to meet me at the park on Thames street.

I pulled on some extra layers and my worn black converse, and I tied my hair up into a ponytail. I grabbed my phone, stuffing it in my jacket pocket, and I left the house, stepping out into the cold just as Alex texted me back.

The walk to the park was quick, since I lived close. I had no idea where Alex lived, so I didn't know how long it would take him. All I know was that I was extremely happy when he showed up.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I sighed. It wasn't easy to spill my guts out to anyone, but it all just came pouring out, and I couldn't make it stop.

"What the hell do I do? My boyfriend cheats on me, and he expects me to stay with him? How come I'm forced into this when I don't want to be? What did I ever do? It's not fair," I muttered, sitting down in the grass. Alex sat down next to me with a heavy sigh.

"It's not any easier when a huge population of the world knows what happened. They expect me to be happy all the time, but it's not always supposed to be like that. I'm selfish because I'm living my dream and I'm not happy. You can't put those two together and expect it to work.. but if I were to be seen with another girl, I'm moving on too fast and immediately no one likes her." Alex brushed a hand through his messy hair. There was a rustling of the bushes in front of us, but I figured it was just the wind. Who would be out here at two in the morning?

Right. Alex and I would.

"Alex... do you still love her?" I asked, my voice small. He looked at me.

"I'm not sure. Do you still love him?" He asked.

"No," I said flatly. But, I felt like that wasn't true. Why would I be sitting out here with Alex talking about him? Did I still love him? It was a tough question, but I felt like I didn't.

"And, what are the odds that Noah automatically finds your girlfriend to suck face with?" I asked miserably.

"If he hadn't, we wouldn't have met," Alex pointed out.

"Yes, we would have met. You bumped into me at the bar before that," I said. Alex hummed as the wind picked up.

"I remember that," he said, smiling at me, "We probably never would have talked after that, though."

"I'm glad we met. You're really amazing," I said. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close.

"I know you're not ready yet, but when you are... just say the word and I'll know," Alex said. A ghost of a smile haunted my lips.

"What's the word then?" I asked. Alex thought for a minute.

"Just tell me you love me when you're ready. That'll be it," Alex said. I smiled.

"Can do, Gaskarth. Thanks for meeting me here so late... or early, what have you," I said. Alex chuckled quietly.

"It's really no problem. I wanted to see you too," Alex said. I closed my eyes and cuddled up next to him for warmth as a small breeze brushed through our hair. Alex held me tightly, resting his head on mine.

"I could fall asleep right now," I said.

"Let's get you home then. C'mon. I drove here," Alex said, standing up and helping me up. He escorted me to his car, opening my door for me and buckling me up since I was so tired.

The drive to my house didn't take very long. Alex decided to stay the night since he didn't want to risk falling asleep at the wheel, so we got nice and cozy in my bed with the blankets pulled up to our chins for warmth. He truly was amazing.

Notes

A nice slow one for ya. :)

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