With You Around
Twenty
Nyssa's POV:
Bonnie walks in with Jack behind her, I guess she talked to him. She tells me to go talk to Jack and I get up and walk out with him. I follow him and we go in a empty dressing room that wasn't being used by anyone. I look up at him and he seemed to be having trouble finding the words to say. "What is it Jack?" He looks down at me, "fuck it," he whispers and leans down. Before I could reply he presses his lips to mine.
It takes me a few seconds to realize whats going on and I slowly kiss back. He holds my cheek with one hand and the other was above my waist. Something fills me, it felt like fireworks were going off. I got the feeling I get whenever I eat to many Sour Patch Kids, and my mouth is really happy by the mix of sour and sweet. Our lips fitted together perfectly and I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer.
We pull away after 2 minutes to breathe and we smile at each other. "I like you Nyssa, a lot. More then you know. Yesterday when you fell asleep, I don't know what made me but I kissed you. But now I realize I did because thats when I realized that I do like you. I promised Bonnie that I would go slow and be patient with you. And so I have. But when I saw Josh ask you out, I got so mad and walked away. I didn't think you liked me back and I didn't want to hear your answer. I wouldn't have blamed you if you said yes really. I'm the one who's been making you confused if I liked you back."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jack Barakat liked me back. And I just kissed him. "Oh my god... My first kiss was with Jack Barakat...," I whisper. "First?" I look away from him and step back but he kept his hands on my waist to pull me back. "Nyssa... you know you can tell me.." "I'm scared Jack...," I whisper. "What are you afraid of?" "Jack not once have I ever been asked out. I'm 24, and I never been asked out and kissed," I laugh to myself and finally feel my tears run down my face.
"How sad is that. A 24 year old never even been asked out. Now I finally have my first kiss, with one of my heroes, and I know about his past." "But what are you scared of." "I'm scared that you'll leave me for the reason I'm me," I whisper and rest my head on his chest. My mind was going crazy, I'm still processing the fact that I just made out with Jack.
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Jack's POV:
"Nyssa, I like you for you, no matter what. Forget who I was in the past, okay? I won't leave you, I promise." I hold her close and kiss her head. We stand there for a while, I really want to know why she said its hell for her mind everyday. Why Bonnie said she takes a while to process things. "Jack... I need to tell you something.." "What is it?" She grips my shirt a bit, "I have Dyspraxia," she whispers shaky.
I was about to ask what it was but she kept talking. "Its a disability where the brain can't process certain information and it gets lost. It effects so much Jack, you have no idea how lucky you are. Imagine living a day where you have poor speech, poor balance, poor hand-eye coordination, everything you do, think, and say is effected. Causing you to be shy. And then you wake up the next day and you have to go through that hell all over again. I have the worse grammar, I don't play sports because I suck. There's no hope there. I can't play instruments. Everything I do is effected. I feel so different from everyone, they won't understand what I go through. I feel alone and scared. I have never met and talked to someone like me before and I hate it. Music is what keeps me sane, its what calms me down. When its just me and my music, I feel safe. My mind isn't running and I just focus on the music. And right now, my mind is going crazy."
She cries more and I hold her tighter. "For years I hated who I was. Kids could tell I was different and bullied me. I was bullied for 9 years Jack. 9 fucken years. When I was 14 I had almsot cut myself. But Stay Awake stopped me. For 3 fucken years I had those thoughts, just cut yourself. Just kill yourself. Your life isn't gonna get better. No one is gonna love you for you. Their gonna hate you. Your not gonna get far. For 3 fucken years that voice was strong in my head and you guys were always there. My mind still drives me crazy, and sometimes I have moments where I want to give up."
She almsot falls out of my arms and I hold her up. I pick her up and go over to the couch. I sit on the couch and sit her on my lap, I let her cry into my chest and I gently rocked her. "Nyssa, listen to me okay. No matter what, I will always like you. Okay. Always. I don't care that you have a disability, it makes me like you even more. Its who you are and you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are."
She slowly looks up at me and I smile at her, "there's those eyes I love seeing." She smiles back and I gently kiss her, damn I love kissing her. Her lips were so sweet and they molded into mine perfectly. Out of everyone I have ever kissed, including guys, this was the most perfect kiss that I've ever had in my life.
I hear Matt yelling my name for stage, "looks like its time to perform." She kisses me this time and smiles bigger, "what?," I smile back. "Nothing. I just like this feeling."
Bonnie walks in with Jack behind her, I guess she talked to him. She tells me to go talk to Jack and I get up and walk out with him. I follow him and we go in a empty dressing room that wasn't being used by anyone. I look up at him and he seemed to be having trouble finding the words to say. "What is it Jack?" He looks down at me, "fuck it," he whispers and leans down. Before I could reply he presses his lips to mine.
It takes me a few seconds to realize whats going on and I slowly kiss back. He holds my cheek with one hand and the other was above my waist. Something fills me, it felt like fireworks were going off. I got the feeling I get whenever I eat to many Sour Patch Kids, and my mouth is really happy by the mix of sour and sweet. Our lips fitted together perfectly and I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer.
We pull away after 2 minutes to breathe and we smile at each other. "I like you Nyssa, a lot. More then you know. Yesterday when you fell asleep, I don't know what made me but I kissed you. But now I realize I did because thats when I realized that I do like you. I promised Bonnie that I would go slow and be patient with you. And so I have. But when I saw Josh ask you out, I got so mad and walked away. I didn't think you liked me back and I didn't want to hear your answer. I wouldn't have blamed you if you said yes really. I'm the one who's been making you confused if I liked you back."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jack Barakat liked me back. And I just kissed him. "Oh my god... My first kiss was with Jack Barakat...," I whisper. "First?" I look away from him and step back but he kept his hands on my waist to pull me back. "Nyssa... you know you can tell me.." "I'm scared Jack...," I whisper. "What are you afraid of?" "Jack not once have I ever been asked out. I'm 24, and I never been asked out and kissed," I laugh to myself and finally feel my tears run down my face.
"How sad is that. A 24 year old never even been asked out. Now I finally have my first kiss, with one of my heroes, and I know about his past." "But what are you scared of." "I'm scared that you'll leave me for the reason I'm me," I whisper and rest my head on his chest. My mind was going crazy, I'm still processing the fact that I just made out with Jack.
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Jack's POV:
"Nyssa, I like you for you, no matter what. Forget who I was in the past, okay? I won't leave you, I promise." I hold her close and kiss her head. We stand there for a while, I really want to know why she said its hell for her mind everyday. Why Bonnie said she takes a while to process things. "Jack... I need to tell you something.." "What is it?" She grips my shirt a bit, "I have Dyspraxia," she whispers shaky.
I was about to ask what it was but she kept talking. "Its a disability where the brain can't process certain information and it gets lost. It effects so much Jack, you have no idea how lucky you are. Imagine living a day where you have poor speech, poor balance, poor hand-eye coordination, everything you do, think, and say is effected. Causing you to be shy. And then you wake up the next day and you have to go through that hell all over again. I have the worse grammar, I don't play sports because I suck. There's no hope there. I can't play instruments. Everything I do is effected. I feel so different from everyone, they won't understand what I go through. I feel alone and scared. I have never met and talked to someone like me before and I hate it. Music is what keeps me sane, its what calms me down. When its just me and my music, I feel safe. My mind isn't running and I just focus on the music. And right now, my mind is going crazy."
She cries more and I hold her tighter. "For years I hated who I was. Kids could tell I was different and bullied me. I was bullied for 9 years Jack. 9 fucken years. When I was 14 I had almsot cut myself. But Stay Awake stopped me. For 3 fucken years I had those thoughts, just cut yourself. Just kill yourself. Your life isn't gonna get better. No one is gonna love you for you. Their gonna hate you. Your not gonna get far. For 3 fucken years that voice was strong in my head and you guys were always there. My mind still drives me crazy, and sometimes I have moments where I want to give up."
She almsot falls out of my arms and I hold her up. I pick her up and go over to the couch. I sit on the couch and sit her on my lap, I let her cry into my chest and I gently rocked her. "Nyssa, listen to me okay. No matter what, I will always like you. Okay. Always. I don't care that you have a disability, it makes me like you even more. Its who you are and you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are."
She slowly looks up at me and I smile at her, "there's those eyes I love seeing." She smiles back and I gently kiss her, damn I love kissing her. Her lips were so sweet and they molded into mine perfectly. Out of everyone I have ever kissed, including guys, this was the most perfect kiss that I've ever had in my life.
I hear Matt yelling my name for stage, "looks like its time to perform." She kisses me this time and smiles bigger, "what?," I smile back. "Nothing. I just like this feeling."
5/20/13