Jack POV

Getting home from school, I entered my room, the only place that really brings me joy. The place with all my favorite things in it, my guitar, all my music, my bed, and the saviors under it. School was as boring as it always was, especially the first day, full of assigned seats and syllabi. The new student, Alex, was really cool; and had probably the most beautiful face I have ever seen on any single human being, and had I known he was the new kid next door I would have introduced myself the first day they moved in. I laid down in bed and I escaped my own mind and put on some music. the heat kicked on in the house and I pulled off my cardigan and threw it on the floor. I sat up and looked out the window to see if Alex was in his room, his curtains were open and he had pulled his hood up and exited his room. He was seen minutes later running to the park and forest preserves across the street. He entered a path that no one really took any more, just my friends and I. There was a hill and a bench a little ways down the path but there was a back way that led to a beautiful pond and meadow. I decided to pull myself out of the funk and I took my keys, a blanket, and phone and walked out the door. I made my way to the back path and walked all the way to the pond, laid out the blanket, and laid down with my headphones in to block the world. I pull my sleeves up and end up passing out in the first five minutes of laying down.

I am woken up by someone shaking me, I expect I too be Rian or Zack but their face is hidden by the setting sun. I wake up more and shield my eyes from the sun and its Alex. I immediately push down my sleeves and shoot off the ground.

“Uh h-hey, what are you doing here” I shake and ball my sleeves in my hands

“I was just taking a walk and I saw you laying there and I couldn’t tell if you were ok or not” Alex smiled

“Yeah I'm o-okay" I stutter and Alex steps closer

"Are you really?" he asked and grabbed my hand

"Yeah I am," I said coldly

"Hey if you ever need to talk. I am always next door" he smiled and walked away, he slipped a piece of paper into my hand as his hand exited mine

I packed everything back up and sat on the bench at the top of the hill. Alex had seen my scars.

He saw what made me weak, great there goes my chances at ever hooking up with him. Who would ever want to date let alone fuck me? I sat there on the bench for a while. Just thinking about my past.

The purple, pink, and white lines covering my forearms, thighs, and stomach, each telling a different story. Throughout the years of destroying my own body, I had lost count of how many I had. I was an expert of destroying my own body, in the four years of cold metal sinking in my skin I had only been accused as a cutter a handful of times. It had all started after my parents' brutal divorce and then came a horrific decline that lead me to lose sleep, lose weight, and lose blood. All while keeping straight A's to maintain the appearance that nothing was wrong. After an attempt last year Rian and Zack went to my mom and told her what was going on and I was put in inpatient and she freaked out but I had straightened myself up and managed to turn myself around so she didn’t worry as much anymore.

I get off the bench and start walking home. The sun has started to set and I run back as to get home before the sun fully set. I get into the house and my mom is making dinner, chicken fettuccine Alfredo, her signature dish. I kiss her and run back up to my room, the slip of paper emerges from my back pocket. I sit on my window seat and type the number into my phone.

"Hey" I send and look out the window to the blinded window next door

My phone blinks and I read the message "hey"

"How are you" I send back

"I'm okay. And yourself?" He asks

"I'm good." I text and the light behind his blinds turns on

"We need to talk" he sent and the blinds shook

"About what" I sent and hopped off the seat and walked downstairs

“Earlier” Alex responded with

“I want you to know that I’m not crazy, I just have a few little problems” I send and sat at the table

“I know” He sent and I looked at the message in shock

“Meet me outside,” I wrote back and got up from the table

“Hey mom, I’ll be back in a couple minutes”

I exited my house and the abnormal heat of the night hit me. I sat on the porch swing and waited. A door slammed shut and I watched Alex walk over, in a t-shirt and pants. He sat next to me and the porch light illuminated his flesh. The skin from his upper arm to his wrist was clad in scars, long and short, shallow and deep. Without saying anything I pulled my sleeves to my elbows and exposed myself in front of Alex. I feel vulnerable and naked, the only other people who had ever seen my scars were mom, Rian, and Zack who were all very supportive and helped me stay clean all summer, maybe this year things will finally go my way and I’ll get better.

“How did you start,” Alex asked

“My parent's divorce pushed me over the edge. Didn’t help that they divorced over me” I laughed

“Oh dear, why?” He questioned

“They found out I was gay, mom was cool with it, dad wasn’t” I chuckled and pulled off my cardigan as I was getting warmer and started to sweat with it on

“I’m sorry” Alex put his hand on my leg

“Don’t be. Enough about me, what about you, how did you start” I asked

“My half brother killed himself, I found him. I was too young to know any better but years later my parents split when my dad became an alcoholic and I got the back end of it, being gay didn’t really help either. I was abused and I turned to it as a distraction, thinking that maybe if I caused myself pain it would make me forget about my dad hitting me” He laughed

“You laugh like its funny, that's terrible” I look at him like he is crazy

“No its okay, he died a while ago, a few years after my mom and I moved to the US, she doesn’t know that any of this happened or that I’ve been hurting myself” He smiled

“So are you clean,” I ask and turn to face him better

“Uh like 2 weeks” Alex smiles and points at one of the dark pink ones on his wrist “That's my last one, what about you?”

“All summer surprisingly” I looked into his eyes and everything inside me melted, I lifted up my shirt and leaned back into he swing. “These are my last ones” I pointed to a now white cluster on my stomach, just above my hip bone

Alex laid a hand on my stomach and he started tracing the lines on my tummy, but inside I felt butterflies, no pterodactyls soared in my stomach. He started moving closer to me and our bodies started to fuse together in ways I have never felt. My heart raced and every nerve in my body fired in ecstasy. As our lips became intertwined I could hear both of our heartbeats in my ears and I was only focused on the energy transferring between us. I broke first and we both caught our breaths as Alex’s mom called him in for dinner. We got up and exchanged one more subtle kiss as he left the porch. I threw my cardigan back on and walked back in the house, fixing my hair and pulling my shelves down.

“Dinner is ready honey, how was your first day back” my mom smiled

“It was normal and boring as usual. How was work” I ask and she puts a plate down in front of me

“Long, never ending office work” she smiled and we sat at the table and ate together

I ended up eating only half of the small portion she gave me and put the rest back in the pan.

“Honey you’re not really eating that much” mom stated

“I ate before you got home” I lied

“Ok, I just want to make sure you’re healthy” She smiled

“I am mom, I’m going to go do some school work” I smiled and started to walk upstairs

I sat on my window seat and watched the stars and airplanes pass over the house as the soft music flowed through my speakers. The night was quiet and the clouds drifted across the starry night.

Alex’s room was dark behind his blinds and I pull out my phone to text him.

“Hey” I send and look at his window

“Hey” he sends a minute later

“I’m sorry about tonight, I didn’t know what came over me,” I said as the lights in his room flickered

“No, it was nice. And you’re a really good kisser” Alex sent and his window opened

“Ok, you’re a pretty good kisser too” I smiled and Alex sat by his window

“I know its early but I’m going to bed, Ill see you tomorrow ;)” Alex looked at me and got up, he closed his blinds and a few minutes later the lights were out

I got off my window seat and closed my blinds. I stripped off my cardigan, shirt, and pants and looked at myself in the mirror. Alex probably only kissed me because he felt sorry for me, he is skinnier, better looking, and most likely smarter than me and he had no place to love me. I shook the feelings off of me and climbed into bed and fell asleep trying not to bring myself down

Notes

Do Sunday night updates work for you guys?

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