Welcome To My Life

"Did I interrupt Supernatural?" Alex asked, as soon as our lips broke free, pointing at the screen.
"Huh?" I asked, still caught in the moment we just had. "Oh uh yeah we were indeed watching Supernatural, but I don't mind you interrupting it."
"Good" Alex said. "Look, I should probably be going as I'll have to explain my parents how I broke my nose."

"Well, they're gonna love me" I said, my face falling.
Alex shrugged. "They'll understand" he replied.
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh really?" I asked in disbelief.
"I don't know" Alex replied. "I could just tell them some gangsters on the street beat me up."
I grinned. "Why would they?"
"Well, I'm thinking of becoming a gangster myself and it was some sort of initiation ritual" Alex nodded.

"And they'll believe that?" I asked laughing.
"Probably not, but at least you're laughing again" Alex said smiling. "Now I do really have to go. Are you gonna be okay? Can you stay with Jenna?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I can stay as long as I like."

"So, what are your plans now?" Alex asked.
"I want to try and find a job to earn money and eventually find my own place, I guess" I shrugged.
"In Baltimore?" Alex asked hopeful.
"I don't know, will you be there?" I winked, causing Alex to blush.
"We should uh.. probably get your stuff from my car" he said quickly and I nodded in agreement.

We both got up and went outside. Alex carried the heavier boxes inside, while I got the lighter ones. After we moved all of the boxes to Jenna's hallway, it was time for Alex to leave, so I walked him back to his car. We looked at each other awkwardly for a moment.

"I'd kiss you, but I don't know if Jenna's watching and I'd kind of prefer to tell her myself instead of having her find out by seeing us kissing" I said softly.
"Find out what, exactly?" Alex teased.
"That I don't know what exactly we have, but that I do have these feelings for you that she should know about" I replied.
"Okay well, I'd kiss you too, but I understand you want to tell Jenna first" he said understandingly.

I nodded, and instead, Alex pulled me in for a hug. I had grown quite fond of his hugs. For some reason I felt safe in his arms, even though I knew damn well I didn't need a guy to protect me. After he let go of me, we stared at each other for a moment.

"Thank you" I said quietly.
Alex gave me a quizzical look. "For what?"
"Everything" I replied. "For making me feel welcome, wanted... Happy... I haven't felt like this in a long time."
He shot me a pitiful smile. "Anytime".

"Now go, before I start crying" I said grinning.
"Wouldn't want to see that happen, now would I?" Alex said smiling. "I'll call you."
"You do that" I replied, smiling wider than I had in a long time.
"See you" Alex said, before he got in his car.
"See you" I replied quietly, as he started his car and drove off.

I sat down on the front porch, staring at the kids at the playground across the street. They seemed so careless, so undamaged, so happy. I wish I was still a kid. But then again, I now had Alex, who brought out those things in me. Sort of. He couldn't exactly fix me, but still, I hadn't felt this good in a long time.

And yet, I couldn't shake the bad thoughts. I couldn't shake the feeling of me not being good enough for Alex. What if I'd drag him down in my mess of a life? What if I'd lose my composure around him again? He couldn't possibly forgive me for punching him a second time. What if I found a way to ruin what we have now? What if my feelings for Alex would ruin my friendship with Jenna? I couldn't just let myself be happy and enjoy the time we had right now. I've never been able to do that.

"Hey" I heard behind me and I turned around to find Jenna. "Everything okay?"
"I guess" I replied.
Jenna sat down next to me. "Spill"
I nodded. "Well, I do have to tell you something..." I hesitated to continue.
"Well, go on" Jenna encouraged me.

"Alex and I, we..." I stopped talking again.
"Kissed?" Jenna finished my sentence.
"Well... yeah... How did you know?" I asked, avoiding her gaze.

"It was bound to happen" she shrugged. "Look Liz, just forget what I said at the hospital the other day, okay? Alex is a good guy and I just... let jealousy get the best of me. Alex cares so much about you, he'd do anything for you. When you were missing, if it were up to him he would've just been searching for you 24 hours a day, but I managed to convince him that wasn't a good idea. You broke his nose and he still goes and kisses you. You don't deserve better, because I highly doubt it gets better than that" she said smiling.

"Sorry" I muttered.
"Shut up. You're actually my best friend, even though I've only known you for a couple of days and I can just tell how happy Alex makes you. What kind of friend would I be if I wouldn't support that? You can't help it that you're not into girls, let alone into me, okay? Don't you ever feel guilty about that, you hear me?" Jenna said resolute.
"Okay, okay, I hear you" I replied.
"Good" Jenna said. "Now, was that all?"

I hesitated. Was I really going to tell Jenna everything I was just thinking about. No. Then again, I did already tell her my life story, so why wouldn't I?
"I guess this all just seems... too good to be true, if you get what I mean" I started.
By the quizzical look on her face, I could tell she didn't.

"I haven't known a lot of good moments in my life and now that I've moved here, I suddenly have friends, I actually feel happy and... it just makes me scared. Scared to loose it all... Or like, drag you all down with me, or something" I admitted.
Jenna looked at me pitiful. "Just because you've only known bad times, doesn't mean there can't be good times. Life isn't always going to be great, but it's all about cherishing the good moments. You can't cherish those when you keep telling yourself it's too good to be true. I'm your friend, Liz, and I'm not planning to go anywhere, okay? I'm pretty sure Alex isn't either. We're here for you and I get that it's not easy to believe that when you've known so few good times, but I'll make sure to make the most of it and prove to you that this isn't too good to be true. It's just good enough to be true."

I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Jen"
"You're welcome. Now stop telling yourself we're too good for you, because we're not. And as for dragging us down with you: don't you think Alex and I have our own skeletons in our closet? I'm not saying they're as bad as what you've been through, but neither of us are undamaged, so don't worry about dragging us down with you. Alex and I are more likely to pull you up than you are to drag us down, because that's what friends are for. Now come here."

She pulled me in for a side hug, which I gladly returned.
"I don't know what I'd do without you" I said quietly.
"Well, you'd probably be homeless" Jenna joked, causing me to give her a look. "Too soon?"
I nodded.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go inside and continue watching Supernatural" Jenna said, getting up from the porch.
"Yeah, I'll come with" I replied and I followed her inside, where we continued to watch Supernatural until we fell asleep on the couch.

Notes

So sorry for making you guys wait for so long... I just didn't exactly have inspiration and I've been working on my blog so much that I couldn't find the time or energy to continue to write this story. Sorryyyyy!

I know what I want to happen in like 5 years, but now I'll have to find a way to get there from here.. I really shouldn't think about my characters future before I have to write it hehe.

Title credit: Fall Out Boy - The Kids Aren't Alright