It's Such A Shame That We Play Strangers

I walked back to the room after school to find that Alex wasn’t in there. I frowned and walked over to my desk, dumping my bag down next to me as I sit down in my chair. That was until it all clicked in my brain. He was in our spot, by the river.

I jumped off the chair, stumbling over my bag as I rushed out the room, slamming the door behind me. I ran until I got to the fence, the bin was already moved, which allowed me to move through the fence easier.

I run the rest of the way to the log, and when it came into eyesight, I began to walk, slowing my pace as I approached Alex, who was sitting on the log. I felt my eyes change. They were aware before he came into sight and now they are on the verge of tears.

I climbed the log, making my way just next to Alex, but keep enough space so that he wasn’t to uncomfortable. It’s like the second time we’ve sat here, the first time, Alex not knowing what I was thinking and now, it’s the other way around.

‘Alex?’ I said, he nodded his head but didn’t make eye contact.

‘What’s wrong? Did you want to talk about it?’ I questioned. He shook his head and we sat in silent.

Maybe he is going to be like Tyler. But he won’t hit me, he wouldn’t do that. He is too nice for that. What if he has depression and its bad, what if an outcome like Tyler’s comes about, I couldn’t deal with that again. I wouldn’t be able to deal with dea…

‘Jack, have you thought about life? Do you see a future?’ Alex said.

‘Umm… I guess…’ I replied.

‘What if you were wanting to be some big professional, making a living, earning a lot of money. But you never get the support you need, the love you need. I want to become a musician. I want to sing in a band, make so many people happy. I want to write songs so that they can relate to them, seeing that someone else in the world knows how they feel. I want to change the world, with the power of music. It sounds so stupid, I know but it’s my dream you know. My mother on the other hand, wants me to become an accountant or something. But I mean, she moved me so I can do what I want. She can’t tell me I can’t be in a band. You know what I mean?’ Alex said, finally looking at me as he finished.

‘I completely understand. But, I’m sure a band is a good career. I mean, I wanted to be a teacher, I would love to pass on the knowledge that I have to the younger generation, you know. I have always wanted to be in a band for the same reason though. I used to play guitar a lot, but once Tyler, you know, died, I stopped playing. I used to play with him and yeah. But I mean, I can pull out for you, we can jam, if you want. You can play my guitar, I’ll get another one from the music room for now, until I go home for the holidays, so that I can grab, my other one. I want to make you happy, I’ll do anything in my power to make you happier. I love you Alex, I really do.’ I said as I looked at him, my hand moving to his and holding it.

‘Jack, I love that idea. I would love to get my hands on a guitar. Sing a little. Ah, let’s go.’ Alex said, smiling for the first time while we’ve been talking.

Alex stood up and balanced himself on the log waiting for me to get up and move. I eventually moved myself of the log and waited for him to get down of it. He didn’t want assistance, he wanted to do it himself.

We walked quickly back to the fence, where Alex went under first and I followed closely behind. I pushed the bin back in front of the hole before we walked back into school, to our room.
On arrival to the room, Zack and Rian were walking away from our room, and seeing us approach, they stopped and waved.

‘Hey guys, we just wanted to see how you were doing Alex.’ Zack said as we got closer.

‘Oh, I am doing a lot better. I am about to go play some guitar, you guys can come join us, if you want.’ Alex said, inviting everyone into the room. I followed Rian and Zack into the room before closing the door.

‘Alright, seeing as I haven’t played it for a very long time, you are probably going to have to tune it and here, if any strings brake in the process, here is some more.’ I say throwing a packed of strings at Alex before going to my bed. I got on my hands and knees to pull out a case, which was covered in a lot of dust.

‘So you do listen to good music?’ Alex said, pointing to my case. It had a bunch of band stickers on them. Most of them Blink 182 or Green Day.

I pulled out the guitar and smiled to it. I walked back over to the other side of the room and sat down next to Alex, who pulled the guitar out of my hands. I looked at him as he strum away at the strings, tuning as he went along. Less than two minutes went by and he had made the guitar sound amazing. And didn’t manage to break a single string.

He strummed into a song, which I didn’t know, and by the looks of it, neither did Zack or Rian. But once Alex started singing, we still honestly didn’t know the song. But what he sung, it was amazing. He sung the words ‘hold on tight, this ride is a long one’ ‘now don’t lose your fight kid’ and ‘I heard that’s you’ve been, having some trouble finding your place in the world, I know how much that hurts, but if you need a friend, then please just say the word…’ These were the lyrics that stuck out to me. I feel like that I can relate to them so much.

Half way through the song, Rian had started to tap the desk to the rhythm to the beat of the song. Alex was looking at Rian with a big grin on his face. Zack and I started singing the chorus with Alex when he sung it.

Once the song was over, Alex cheered and placed the guitar behind him.

‘You guys, we should form a band. Like we can practice and we can just do it for fun, for now.’ Alex said, looking around at everyone.

‘Yeah! I am keen. The music room has drums, which I can play.’ Rian stated.

‘Yeah, I’m sure the music room will have guitars and bass’s also. I can play both a little. I’ll need a bit more practice though.’ Zack said.

‘That’s okay. I mean, we can practice, I can help you learn chords and all that. And well, I don’t need to help you on the vocals, you are amazing.’ Alex said tapping Zack on the shoulder.
‘Come on, Jack. It’ll be fun.’ He said, as he put his hand in mine. I looked down at it and frowned.

‘Sure, why not. I miss playing.’ I replied. I took my hand out of Alex’s and placed it in my lap.

‘Well, come on then.’ Alex said, as he jumped from the bed and raced for the door. ‘Let’s go practice.’ He said leaving the room. We all followed and I closed the door.

I couldn’t help to think that maybe Alex was taking advantage of me and that he actually didn’t love me. It all kinda makes sense now.

Notes