There's A Ghost In This Room

Damn..that was a night.
Now I get it.
Now I get what the hype is all about.
Now I know how it feels to have sex.
And it felt goddamn amazing.
There’s really nothing like it…the feeling..it’s just nothing but great.
Since then, Ashlynn and I have still been the same, except possibly more flirty towards each other.
We always hint at some suggestive things when we talk, and it totally grosses our friends out sometimes. Especially Zack, though. I still wouldn’t call him my friend, but he’s always been pretty close to Ash. He’s actually pretty unsupportive of us being together. Always scoffing when we do as little as holding hands. And ditching us to go somewhere else during lunch on some days, claiming that we were gross. And I never miss the dirty looks he gives me whenever I so much as put my arm around Ash. At first I thought it was just because he hates me and all, but now I’m thinking that it’s more than that.
I see the way he looks at her. He’s jealous. But I know he knows better than to make a move on my girlfriend.

I was missing her today, though. Instead of going over to her place to make out and such after school, she had to go out of town with her family or some shit. So now I’m pretty much alone.
But there is one person I miss more than Ashlynn, and that’s Bethany. I miss her so much it kinda hurts.
I used to see her all the time and it was so natural to me and it seemed right. And I’m not saying I don’t like spending every second with my girlfriend, but…I just want a little space sometimes. And more time to see my best friend.
So that’s why I took this advantage, and poofed myself into her bedroom.

She jumped from where she was sitting on her bed, staring into space.
“Ha! Looks like I still scare you, huh?” I chuckled.
Some things never change.
“Well, this is a little unexpected..” She glared at me in annoyance.
“Yeah..I really haven’t been here in a while, have I?” I sighed and took a look around the room that was more than familiar to my eyes.
“Nope. Not since- yeah..” She cleared her throat and looked down.
I knew what she meant. I hadn’t really spoken to her since I declared that we’d never discuss the kiss again. And that thought alone just gave me a sad feeling in my gut.
“I’m sorry I-“
“Just save it Alex..” She sighed in defeat and patted her bed in front of her.
I sat down and gave her a small smile.
“So what’s new? Fill me in.” She smiled.
I could tell she really missed talking to me, too.
“Well..I’ve gotten a lot closer with Jenna and Brendon, they’re pretty cool.” I told her about my new friends with a thoughtful gaze.
I saw her look down and try not to grimace.
“That’s great…”
“Yeah, everything’s better when Zack’s not around, though. I think he’s after Ashlynn. That’s never gonna happen, though. You can bet my ass.”
“You guys are pretty close now..” She said solemnly, looking down at her fingers.
“Me and Zack?”
“No! You and…her.”
“Oh yeah, Ashlynn and I are great.” I smiled at the thought of her.
Bethany looked up at me with such a heartbreaking expression. But it only confused me to say the least.
“Yeah…I can tell. You guys are always together 24/7.”
I chuckled at that.
“Yeah well..couldn’t be without her..especially not after that night...”
“That night?” She cocked her head to the side in confusion.
She’s my best friend..she would wanna hear about this right? Yeah, of course she would.
“It was so great, Bethany, oh my gosh.” I smirked to myself at the thought of everything that played out on Ashlynn’s bed.
“W-what was great?” She looked as if she was going to breakdown or something.
“Sex! Sex is great! It was like the best night of my life!”
She quickly stumbled off of the bed and onto her feet.
“Whoa whoa wait..you had SEX?!” She gave me the most outraged look.
“Uhh..yeah?” I looked at her in confusion.
“Oh my gosh, Alex!! I can’t believe you had sex with her!”
I stood up, too.
“What’s so bad about that?!”
“What’s so bad is that you gave your fucking virginity to Ashlynn Wilson!!” She screamed at me.
I was really taken aback at how she was reacting.
“So?! Why do you even care??”
She looked so bewildered at the question, I quickly began to regret even asking.
“Why do I care, Alex? Well fuck, I wish I didn’t care! I wish it didn’t hurt me to see you two together all the time! I wish I didn’t feel like a piece of shit every time you go hang out with her instead of me! I even wish I didn’t exist sometimes, but most of all, I wish I didn’t have feelings for you Alex! But I do, and you don’t and..and I just can’t fucking take it anymore!” She had a whole meltdown right before my eyes, with tears streaming down her face.
I stared at her in shock. This was completely unexpected.
“Beth…I-“
“Don’t like me. You could never like me. Oh god, I feel so dumb right now. I’m just a fucking idiot…” She hid her face in her hands, and by instinct, I wanted to just wrap my arms around her and tell her she was the most beautiful girl in the world.
I tried to pry her hands from her face, but she just pushed me away.
“Don’t touch me, okay? You’re a liar, Alex! You lied!”
“H-how did I lie?”
“You said you liked me and then you kissed me and then you took it all back! You told me you were drunk..”
“I was-“
“No you weren’t, Alex. I remember that night completely. You were sober. You’re a fucking asshole! I already knew you didn’t like me, you could’ve just said so!!” She was so hurt, and it broke my heart.
I wasn’t completely lying..what I felt for her that night was real. I just don’t know how I feel now. I have Ashlynn.
So why do I have the urge to kiss Bethany?
“Beth I’m sorry. I lied because I’m with Ashlynn and I didn’t want to hurt you but-“
“You know what, Alex? I don’t even care. You’re just a liar. You lie about everything! You said you would be here for me but you’re not! Do you even know what she does to me??”
What Ashlynn does to her?
Wait..what??
“What do you mean? What does she do?”
“N-nothing! Just forget it. Forget I even said anything, Alex! I don’t know why I wanted you to become visible so bad in the first place…there’s honestly no difference. Except I still had a best friend back then.” She gave me a look of hatred, then turned around and locked herself in the bathroom.
She’s right.
The whole point of me becoming visible was so that I could protect her and continue being her best friend. But instead I lead her on, ditched her, and focused all my attention onto another girl. I’m terrible. I’m fucking awful.
I broke Bethany’s heart.
But I have to figure out what Ashlynn has been doing to her to make her hate her so much. It’s obviously more than jealousy, and I’m gonna get to the bottom of it.
I don’t care if she’s my girlfriend.
I don’t care who you are.
Nobody hurts my Bethany.

Notes

Heyyooooo!!
Sorry for the hiatus guys, I wrote a oneshot and it took up a lot of time.
Also, some other cool shit happened too!!

I met ATL!! Jack held my hand and Rian waved and talked to me and Alex gave me a high five and Zack spoke to me. And they all signed my poster. OMG IT WAS SO GREAT I FREAK OUT EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT! AHHHHHH!!!!! <333
Also the concert was amazinggg.
Oh, and Alex followed me on Twitter and it was cool as fuck because I was the only fan he followed. But then he unfollowed the next day sooo..the fuck brah.
And the ATL twitter account favorited my tweet and I'm pretty sure it was him that day so yeah Alex and I are really getting serious ayeeee.

I'VE MISSED YOU GUYS AND YOU HATE ME FOR THIS CHAPTER BUT I LOOOVVEEE YOU!!! <3

Thanks! :)

Title cred: Dancing With A Wolf- All Time Low