There's A Ghost In This Room

The way Bethany acted yesterday was so confusing. I knew she wasn't in the best mood that morning, but I thought that I cheered her up at least a little bit.
She wasn’t anywhere to be seen at lunch; Jack said he hadn't seen her, but Ashlynn found me, and took me to sit with her instead. She was acting a bit clingy with me all during lunch. It was kind of weird, but I'm not complaining if she likes me.
But I couldn't possibly think about Ashlynn yesterday, because I was too busy worrying about Bethany. In class, she kept her head down, and when it wasn't down, she was constantly frowning at the board and taking shaky breaths. She definitely wasn't okay.
After school, she seemed to be in a really irritable mood, so I tried not to bother her by asking what was wrong; I knew she would've blown up on me.
But when I hugged her and she practically pushed me away as if I had a disease, I knew something really horrible was up, and all I wanted was to know what was wrong so that I could help her. But she just ended up snapping at me and telling me to leave her alone.
I knew that in the state she was in, being alone was dangerous; but to be honest, I was really shocked and hurt by her actions, and I didn't want to irritate her even more.
I knew I should've stopped her and done something, and it was killing me to think that she could be in there right now, just a few footsteps away, hurting herself.
And I was doing nothing about it.
I stood there for a while, worrying and debating on whether I should just listen to her, or if I should go against her pleads, and go in there.
I ended up thinking for a while; it was nearing 4 in the afternoon at this point, and I decided I'd just go in to check up on her. I appeared into her bedroom, to see her in bed sleeping, with a red, tear-stained face.
It broke my heart to see her that way. So broken and empty. And it just killed me even more because I didn't know why this happened.
I knew that she was apparently annoyed with me, but as her best friend, I knew that I couldn't ever leave her side, and I had to be there for her. I would never ever give up on Bethany. I love that girl. I love her more than anything, and it hurts me when she's hurt.
So I couldn't help myself when I crawled into bed next to her, and wrapped her in my arms. I lightly kissed the top of her head, and moved her hair out of her beautiful face. I don't know why she doesn't believe it, but she truly is a beautiful girl.
I couldn't possibly fall asleep this early in the day, so I just stayed awake and continued to wonder what made her so upset today.
I did eventually end up falling asleep when it got dark.

I woke up when I felt her stirring in my arms. It was early in the morning and we had school today, but of course she woke up earlier than usual from going to bed earlier.
Her eyelids slowly opened, and they looked directly into mine. She blinked a few times to process what was happening, but once she did, she instantly got sad.
“Hey..” I whispered, running my fingers through her hair.
“You don't hate me...” She answered, continuing to look at me with big, sad eyes.
“Why would I hate you, Beth?” I continued stroking the ends of her hair.
“B-because I was a bitch..”
“You weren't a-“
“Yes I was. I w-was a t-total bitch!” Her voice was breaking, and her eyes were beginning to tear up.
Glass over diamond blue eyes.
“Don't worry, Beth. You were upset, I get it. It's okay..”
She sniffled and shook her head.
“That's the thing, nothing is okay, Alex! Nothing.”
“What isn't okay, Bethany? Talk to me.” I urged her, wiping away her stray tears with the pads of my thumbs.
“I just…my mom has been ignoring me since last week, she's pretending that I don't even fucking exist. And..and people at school h-hate me..they h-hate my fucking guts and so do I. A-and I know that soon y-y-you’re going to hate me t-too, when you r-realize how worthless I am..” She was beginning to sob now, and could hardly keep her sentences together.
“No no no, Beth..”
“You will!! You're bound to hate me, j-just like everybody else!”
I hugged my arms tighter around her waist as she sobbed.
“I couldn’t ever hate you, Beth. You’re everything to me. You're the reason I'm here right now! I love you…you and hate just shouldn't even be put in the same sentence! And who hates you?? Tell me their names!”
She instantly sniffled and shook her head.
“No, it doesn't matter who. Just..I don't wanna talk about this anymore, Lex. And..and I can't go back to sleep, so could you just..lay here with me until we have to get ready?”
I leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead, before nodding my head.
She rested her head back on my chest, and I wrapped my arms tighter around the beautiful, broken girl laying on top of me. I can't let her hurt like this. I won't.

Later on, we had to go to school. She wanted so badly to stay home, but she knew that I would've stayed there with her, and she “didn't want to make me fall behind in my classes.” As if that could happen.
She was so dreary and gloomy today, just dragging her feet down the halls, with no motivation at all. I stayed by her side as much as I could today; sadly, I couldn't inside of our first two classes.
In first period, I told Jenna that I couldn't sit at the lunch table today.
I wasn't going to let Bethany out of my sight, today. I won't let anybody give her any shit, because I know that she already feels shitty enough.
When lunch finally rolled around, I practically ran out of my classroom to wait for Bethany outside of hers.
She was the last student to leave the room, and she seemed a bit surprised to see me standing there.
I placed an arm around her shoulders, and I felt her tense up, which was rather unusual. She looked all around us as if she was searching for someone, before sighing with relief, and finally melting into my side.
It was kinda weird, but I just pushed the thought aside, and began walking with her still under my arm.
“So how did class go, today?” I asked her with a soft voice, wanting to be delicate with her.
She just deeply sighed and shrugged her shoulders in response.
“I feel like crying.” She managed to say.
“You're okay. Just don't think too much about all of that. I won't let anyone hurt you, okay?” I looked down at her with reassuring eyes.
I think I may have seen the corners of her mouth curve upwards a little, but it went away all too soon to be sure.
“Love you, Lex.”
“Love you too.” I responded with a small smile.
We were soon outside, and reached the wall, where we saw Jack sitting.
His knees were up, and I saw that he was sipping from a juice box, and looking down at his lap, so that his hair was covering almost half of his face.
Bethany’s eyes widened in realization, and she immediately took a seat in front of Jack, on the ground. I sat down next to her.
“Jack, hey!!” She greeted him.
He only responded with a wave; still not lifting his head up.
She instantly started to feel bad.
“Hey, Jack…I'm sorry for not showing up to lunch yesterday, please don't be mad.” She frowned with guilt.
“It's okay, I'm not mad at you.” He didn't move; he just brought the straw of his juice box back up to his lips.
“No really, Jack! I wasn't feeling my best, because I had some…painful encounters with some people, yesterday. Please believe me?” She pleaded, placing her hands on his knees.
“I believe you. Same thing happened to me, yesterday.”
He finally lifted his head up, only to expose the dark purple bruise around his left eye.
“What?!? Oh my god, Jack! What happened to you?? Who did this to you??” Bethany was completely outraged, and my brows were furrowed in concern.
“Zack..i-it’s always him..” He trailed off, looking a bit nervous.
I started getting a little nervous too, when I noticed Bethany’s mood change from shocked and worried, to angry. Really angry. And what made it worse, was that she was turning to glare at me.
“Where were you, yesterday??” She asked me, with eyes full of rage.
“W-where was I??”
“Yeah! Where were you during lunch? Why weren't you here to protect Jack?!”
“Oh no..it's fine..I-I'm f-fine..” Jack intervened with a soft voice, but it couldn't be heard over our arguing.
“Um..I was..” I gulped, thinking about how my answer could backfire.
“You were where?? Spit it out, Alex!” She was giving me a death glare.
“I-I was with Ashlynn..she-“
“UNBELIEVABLE!! THIS IS UN-FUCKING BELIEVABLE!” She screamed, getting up to her feet, and pacing in a small circle.
“What?? I didn't even do anything!!” I fought back, getting up to my feet, as well.
“That's the PROBLEM, Alex!! You didn't fucking do anything! You were supposed to be there for Jack, so he wouldn't get hurt! But instead, you were too busy at that fucking lunch table, gushing over Ashlynn!!” She stopped pacing, and just stood to yell in my face.
“Are you freakin’ kidding me?? How was I supposed to know that you would just decide not to show up for lunch? I was worried sick about you!” I retaliated, feeling myself getting super offended that she would blame all of this on me.
“Oh really? Sure, you must be sooo worried, when you’re out marveling over Ashlynn’s tits, while you drink your Gatorade!!” She rolled her eyes in disgust at me.
“It wasn’t even like that! I wasn't even paying attention to anything at the lunch table; I was too busy wondering where you were, and if you were okay!!” I stared at her in disbelief, and she just blinked a few times.
For a split second, she began to feel guilt, but she was soon back to being angry.
“Well, you should've stayed with Jack, rather than going over there with her! You can't just stay worried about me all the time! Jack matters, too! He's just about as fragile as I am! H-how is he supposed to trust you to protect him at that party?? Huh? You really suck. You really really do.” She shook her head at me, before walking past me.
I followed after her, feeling really offended, angry, hurt, and quite confused.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Bethany?? I know that this isn't even about Jack. You know that what happened wasn’t even in my control, and I would've stopped it if I saw it happening. No no no..this is about me sitting with Ashlynn! That's the only reason why you're so upset! If you would just tell me what it is about her that makes you so angry-“
“Just, stop it, Alex! You'll never understand! You'll never get it! You're just so damn stupid!!” She screamed, tugging at her hair in frustration.
“I know that you're really pissed at me for whatever reason, but stop with the fucking insults. Don't get me all worked up, Bethany.” I warned her; starting to feel myself get angrier and angrier. It wasn't long before I blew a fuse and it led up to my episode.
I usually would've just disappeared by now. If only I wasn't visible to the whole fucking school!
“You know what, Alex? Whatever. Just whatever! And I can't go to that party, by the way. I won't go. Nothing good will come out of it.” Tears were starting to collect in her eyes, but in the infuriated state I was in, I kept pushing it.
“Oh, you won't? Is it because you're all mad at me for no fucking reason, or is it because you hate Ashlynn for no fucking reason?!”
She exhaled deeply, and just stood there; looking at me in disbelief.
“Y-you're so angry with me..” Her voice shrunk down to a whisper; probably noticing my face turning red with fury. But it was completely out of my control. I wanted to hug her and wipe her tears, and tell her I'm sorry, but I was too far gone; my episode would occur at any minute, and I needed to get out of there.
She wiped away a stray fear from her cheek, before shaking her head, turning around, and walking away from me.
I sped back outside, and into the woods, when I saw that no one was looking. From there, I disappeared to Shadowland.

Notes

Woops.
Are you guys mad at me, is that why you aren't commenting?
If this story is frustrating you, please comment a big "WHAT THE FUCK."
Do it.
Doooo itt.


It'll be a while until I write the next chapter, because I'm just gonna work on Shameless for a few days. You should read it, by the way. Wink.

Thanks! :)

Title cred: Oh Well, Oh Well- Mayday Parade