After having my episode in the safe confinement of my home, I cleaned up the awful mess I made on the floor, then sat down on the edge of my bed.
I placed my head in my hands, and sighed of exhaustion. I felt like shit; both physically and emotionally.
Emotionally, because I had just made Bethany cry. My poor Bethany was crying, and it was all my fault. And it wouldn't be the first time, in the past few days.
I couldn't control my anger back there, and I ended up yelling at her, and making her feel even worse than she did before. I remember what she had told me this morning, and that made me feel even worse.
“I just…my mom has been ignoring me since last week, she's pretending that I don't even fucking exist. And..and people at school h-hate me..they h-hate my fucking guts and so do I. A-and I know that soon y-y-you’re going to hate me t-too, when you r-realize how worthless I am..” She was beginning to sob now, and could hardly keep her sentences together.
“No no no, Beth..”
“You will!! You're bound to hate me, j-just like everybody else!”
And then I remember what she said before she walked away from me.
“Y-you're so angry with me..” Her voice shrunk down to a whisper; probably noticing my face turning red with fury.
The way she looked at me, made me feel like the most shittiest guy on the planet. She looked so fed up, and so disappointed with me. And I made it seem as if I actually did hate her. Even though I was being completely honest this morning when I said that I never could.
Whether she was more mad about me not being there for Jack, or for sitting with Ashlynn, I don't know. The whole situation honestly confused me so much, that I'd managed to work myself up over it, trying to figure it out.
I honestly have no idea what to make of it; she told me that I'd never understand. That confuses me even more.
What is it about Ashlynn that I just don't seem to understand?
What has she done to make Bethany so angry?
Why does she care so much whether I like her or not??
I need some advice from someone, so that I can figure out why. If I know why, then I'll know how to fix the problem. Fighting with Bethany gives me the most awful, gut-wrenching feeling, ever.
There's only one person whom I could think to go to for advice….
Rian.

---

“Wait wait wait…so you're saying that you had an episode at the fucking school, Alex??” Rian slammed his beer down on the surface of the bar in anger, after hearing about my whole high school experience.
“Well…yeah. It was more like a close call..” I started, trying to defend myself before he cut me off.
“CLOSE CALL IS STILL BAD, ALEX! THEY FUCKING SAW IT BEGINNING TO HAPPEN!” Rian scolded me, quite loudly, may I add.
“Shhh..keep it down, Rian!!” I whisper yelled at him; looking around to make sure no one heard him.
“Sorry. But still, Alex!! That's dangerous! You're gonna get yourself killed again, for good this time, if you aren't careful!” Rian continued, with a more quieter tone.
“Yeah yeah, I know, alright? That isn't even what I'm here for!” I crossed my arms in annoyance at the short-haired man.
“Oh right…the girl. She's mad at you. That's the issue?”
“Yeah… I feel really bad about it, but then again, I’m not even sure what she was so mad about in the first place!” I groaned with frustration; leaning my elbows on the bar, and rubbing my temples.
“Well…maybe something happened with her and that Ashley chick-“
“Ashlynn.” I looked up to correct him.
“Ashlynn, whatever. They obviously hate each other for some apparent reason; I guess you should just find out what the reason is. For all you know, Ashlynn actually could be a slutty bitch.” Rian shrugged, and took a swig of beer.
“She's not a slutty bitch. And she doesn't even talk about Bethany. Beth is the only one who hates anyone!” I argued.
“Maybe she likes you.” Rian shrugged nonchalantly, and took another swig.
My eyes widened in alarm at him, and I instantly shook my head.
“What the fuck do you mean, maybe she likes me??”
“I mean, maybe she has a crush on you. Maybe she's jealous.”
“Oh no no no no. Bethany doesn't like me in that way. I'm like a brother to her..we've known each other since forever!”
“Well, do you like her as a sister?”
I blinked a few times at his question, in confusion.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean??”
Rian simply shrugged in response.
“Maybe you secretly like her, as well.”
“Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hold on a second..why are you assuming that I have feelings for my best friend?? This isn't even about that!”
“Are my assumptions incorrect?”
“Fuck off, Rian! I thought I made it fucking clear that I like Ashlynn.. I don't know why you're-“
“Okay okay, fine. No need to get all defensive..you don't have to discuss your deep, loving feelings with me.” Rian rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face.
He was being a total dick right now..
I asked for advice, not to be accused of possibly liking my best friend!
“Whatever, Asshole. Are you gonna help me figure this shit out, or what?” I looked at him with a completely annoyed expression.
I don't know why his words were getting to me so much..I was seriously getting all worked up over nothing.
I mean..I don't even think of Beth as more than a friend..right??
“You just need more background information on the topic, Man. If she feels the need to actually explain it to you, she will. Because it seems like she's really stubborn with telling you about it.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” I let out a frustrated sigh, rimming my fingertips along the body of my bottle.
“Listen, if I were you right now, I'd go buy the most cutest, sappiest shit you can find, then head on over there.”
“So you think I should buy her something and apologize?”
“I think it would help. Girls do like presents. Got anything in mind?”
“A few things. I'm hoping that I could get some answers about the situation out of her, but first, I just really hope she accepts my apology. Thanks, Rian.” I said, getting up from my stool.
“Hey, no problem, Bud. It'll all workout, kid. You two are beyond close, she'll definitely forgive you. Never let go of what you two have together, no matter the circumstances. Who knows, it could even evolve to something more, one day.” Rian winked.
I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but okay.
I waved goodbye to Rian, and went home, thinking about what I would do to make it up to Bethany. I was definitely taking Rian’s idea into consideration.

---

The next day, I headed out to buy Bethany her favorite flavored popcorn, and a really colorful bouquet of flowers I saw at the store. I knew that she'd love all of this shit…hopefully she'll love it enough to forgive me for losing my temper (once again).
I was actually quite nervous as to how she'd react. I knew that I really disappointed her, and what if she never forgives me?
I don't know what I'd do.
I took a deep breath, before knocking on her front door; finding it to be more appropriate, rather than just popping up into her house.
A few seconds later, a distressed-looking Bethany appeared when the door swung open.
Her eyes were red and puffy, and she had major bed head. Yet, she still looked beautiful to me.
We both just stood there and stared at each other for a moment, in silence.
I decided to break the silence by clearing my throat.
“Uh..I-I got you this.” I nervously stuttered, holding out the gifts to her.
Her eyes brightened at that, and I thought I saw a tiny smile appear on her face.
“Oh…gee wow..thanks.” She awkwardly mumbled.
“So uh..could I..come in?”
She only nodded in response, and stepped out to the side to allow me to enter the house.
I set the gifts down on the counter for her, and she just stood in front of me and crossed her arms.
“Alex..what is all this??” She gestured towards the popcorn and flowers.
“Oh I uh…I-I just wanted to..I wanted to apologize.”
I don't know why I was so awkward; I don't know why it was so hard to get my words out. I was just really nervous about her reaction, I guess??
“Alex…you didn't have to do all th-“
“Yes I did, Bethany. I know that you're still kinda pissed at me, and I know that I deserve it because I yelled at you instead of trying to be more understanding, and it was wrong of me to do that. I'm supposed to be your best friend, not your enemy. I don't wanna lose you…so I'm really fucking sorry. I really am.” I apologized sincerely, waiting for her reaction with hopeful eyes.
Her anger towards me incredibly died down, and she just sighed, and started to feel guilt.
“Alex, I'm sorry. You had every reason to yell and not be understanding, because I wasn't even giving you anything to understand. I wasn't making any sense, and I kept making you angry. It was my fault.”
“No no no, Bethany! It ’t your fault. There's no excuse for me losing my goddamned temper at you. Maybe I don't understand why you have the hatred you do towards Ashlynn, but you can just tell me whenever you feel it's right to tell me. Okay?”
She instantly nodded and sighed with relief, and stepped into my arms, to hug her arms around my torso. I hugged her back, inhaling her sweet scent that I could never ever want to go away. It was so familiar, so normal. She was just everything to me, and nothing would ever feel even the slightest bit of okay without her.
Eventually, she pulled away with a perfect smile on her face.
“So is that caramel popcorn??” She beamed, walking over to the counter.
“Yep! It is your favorite, after all.” I grinned right back at her, glad that my best friend wasn't mad at me anymore.
“And you bought me flowers to top it all off. Smooth.” She jokingly winked, as she filled a vase with water to put the flowers in.
“So, you got any movies in mind that we can share this sweet popcorn over?” I smirked.
“Eh, surprise me.” She smirked back, while still fixing up her flowers.

We ended up watching some “scary” movie like always, while cuddled up on the couch. I was laying down, and she was laying in front of me; my arm wrapped around her waist.
“Paranormal Activity is so stupid, what the hell.” Bethany rolled her eyes at the end of the movie.
“I know, the last few seconds was honestly the scariest part, even though we all saw it coming!”
Beth nodded in agreement, letting out a small giggle.
“Exactly.”
We lied there in a comfortable silence for a moment, before I finally spoke up about something that had been on my mind the whole time.
“So…about that party..” I slowly started.
“The party?” She rolled over to look at me.
“Yeah, uh…I know that you decided you weren't going to go..but that was just when you were mad at me, right?”
“Uhuh..” She nodded, urging me to go on.
“Well…listen, I honestly don't really wanna go to that party without you. It wouldn't be as fun..and plus, I'm not even used to that type of thing. I'd feel much more comfortable with you there.”
“What about Ashlynn? I'm sure she could keep you company..” She said, with a bitter tone to her voice.
“I still want you to be there. Please??” I took her hand in mine and laced our fingers together, causing her to blush.
“And why should I?” She raised a brow at me.
“Because you love me lots and secretly have the greatest desire to go to that party??” I joked.
She smiled, but still pretended to not be convinced.
“Have any better reasons?”
“Uh…because I got you popcorn and flowers and watched a crappy scary movie with you?” I grinned.
“Ugh, fine. But I'm taking Jack with me to keep me company. I don't wanna be a third wheel.” She agreed, while rolling her eyes.
I instantly cheered, and placed a sort of lingering kiss on her forehead, causing her to playfully push me away.
“Ew, stop!” She laughed, holding her hands up to block my lips.
“You're coming with me! I'm so fucking excited, fuck!” I cheered, causing her to laugh some more.
I was just glad that things were back to normal. And hey, now I can go back to focusing on how to win the heart of the girl I've been crushing on, at the party.
And I was glad that Beth and Jack would be there, too.
Everything was slowly starting to fall into place.
Life is good.

Notes

I'M SORRY ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS
I HOPE THIS FLUFF MAKES UP FOR IT.

The reason why it took so long is because school has been kicking my ass. My grades were like perfect and now they're starting to slip and I have a shit ton of work that I'm still not done with, and I've also been having a bit of bullying issues at school as well, so that's why I'm stressed. I honestly feel like relapsing but I haven't in like 8 months and I would never forgive myself if I ruined that, so I'm really just miserable right now lol. Writing calms me, though :)

You guys will enjoy the next chapter. Hopefully.
Yes. Yes you will. x)

Please comment, I've missed you guys! <3
And in case you wanna be best friends and obsess over bands with me, here's my Twitter! xD
@nianbhd

Thanks! :)

Title cred: Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic- Mayday Parade