There's A Ghost In This Room

I feel like a total shithole. I shouldn't have went off and screamed at Bethany like that, yesterday.
I've just been on edge from this whole thing with her mom. This is a perfect example as to why I didn't want to make myself visible in the first place.
Because I can't control my emotions, and I could easily get myself killed twice, for exposing my episode to the human world.
I was soooo fucking close; luckily I found my feet and ran away in time. But I'm sure I looked pretty strange to everyone from how I was acting.
And then there's an even bigger reason.
By being here, I'm just hurting her family more and more. I already drove her dad away and left everyone depressed, and now I'm just making things worse by having her mom start drinking and telling Bethany things that would result into her own form of self destruction.
And losing my temper and taking out my problems on Bethany was probably the dumbest thing that I could ever do.
God, I am an idiot.
“You seem distressed. Why?” Bethany asked me, as we pulled up into the school parking lot.
“I'm just…sorry.” I sighed, and hung my head in shame.
“Alex…”
“I really need to learn to control my temper and quit being such a douche.”
“Alex, you're not a douche…”
I looked up and gave her a knowing look.
“Okay, maybe you're a little bit of a douche..” She giggled, trying to lighten the mood.
I just returned my gaze down to my hands.
“Listen, Lex. You can't just keep dwelling on this. Nothing you do is possibly going to change the past. Stop being so hard on yourself. You aren't making things worse. If anything, you're making things better. So stop being sad and hating yourself before you get all worked up again!” She talked some sense into me, that was very much needed.
I still felt bad though, but when I opened my mouth to protest, she just cut me off by holding up a hand to my face; and getting out of the car.
I smiled at that, and got out after her.
“So, I wonder just how awkward lunch is gonna be for you.” She smirked, as we walked towards the building.
“Hm?” I raised an eyebrow at her in confusion.
“You know…lunch with your slutty crush, her brain dead friend, the snobby player, and the moronic jock who you gave a black eye to the other day? Ring a bell?” She joked, causing me to laugh a bit.
I thought it was kind of harsh that she calls Ashlynn a slut, but other than that, it was actually pretty funny.
“Ha-ha, joke about my friends. You're hilarious, really.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically at her.
“Oh, so now they're your friends, huh?”
“Uh..yeah. I think so..” I got a little skeptical, because I detected a small dip in her mood.
“Hm. Well you have fun with your awkward, dysfunctional lunch.”
And with that, she started walking ahead of me, to her first period.
I was really confused as to why she didn't like the fact that I had befriended them.
I mean, I know that she has this whole weird thing against them for whatever reason, but they honestly aren't that bad.
Or at least I don't think so.
And I wasn't really planning on attending that “awkward, dysfunctional lunch” today, anyway.
I think it would be better if I just waited a little while longer before being near Zack, again. And hopefully the rest of them wouldn't have something against me for fighting with him. After all, he was their friend, first.
Shit, what if this ruins my chances with Ashlynn??
Her and Zack seem close, she'll definitely take his side over mine! Fucking shit!!
Why must my life (or shall I say, death) make everything so difficult??
I sighed, and walked into my first class of the day.
I just sat there and thought to myself for the whole thirty minutes until the bell. My thoughts were starting to eat me up again, but I knew to not let it get to me too much, so I wouldn't end up having a fit like last time.
It was about five minutes before the bell rang, that I saw Jenna enter the classroom. She looked in my direction and squealed when she saw me.
She ran over and gave me a hug.
“Alex!! Oh my god, we have missed you like soooo much! Where have you been? Are you okay??” She quickly asked all at once.
“Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been feeling my best. I got a little sick after that whole…fight thing.” I lied, praying that I was convincing.
It seemed that I was, because she gasped dramatically and nodded her head.
“Oh! Well, I'm glad you're feeling better! Zack is really sorry about what happened, by the wa-“
“No, save it. It's okay, you don't have to defend him or try to make peace and all that. I think I'll just wait a little while before I sit at the lunch table again.” I cut her off and smiled to be polite.
“Aw…you aren't sitting with us today??” She jutted her lip out and pouted.
“Nah, I think we still need to cool off a bit, ya know?” I shook my head.
“Oh yeah. I know just what you mean! Well, we're definitely gonna miss you, Lexy.” She pouted again, and bent over my desk some more, revealing some of her cleavage.
I just smirked and shrugged.
“Oh! And I almost forgot!! Ashlynn is having a party next weekend, and she wants you to come! It'll be really really fun! Be there?” She bit her lip and batted her eyes to be flirtatiously persuasive.
So she was inviting me to a party. I guess she's not so mad at me, after all.
“Sounds fun. I think I will be there.” I winked at her.
“Cool.” She smiled and began walking away, when I suddenly thought about Bethany.
“Hey wait. Would she mind if I brought someone with me to the party?”
Jenna stopped to think for a moment, before smirking again.
“As long as it's not a date!”
“Alright, cool. Then you've got nothing to worry about.” I grinned, feeling even more excited now that I get to bring my best friend with me.

My first two classes went by pretty slow. I've got a pile of make up work to do for being absent, but luckily I still know what's going on in the lessons. I do know just about everything I need to know, and more.
When it was lunch time, I went off to the cafeteria in search of Bethany. It was really noisy and crowded as always, so it's almost impossible to find anyone in there.
But then again, she's never been the one for noisy and crowded.
I decided to check outside, and sure enough, I saw her sitting on the ground against the brick wall.
She was talking to that guy from Math who was getting beat up by Zack! I was surprised and proud of her at the same time. I was proud that she picked up enough courage to speak and befriend someone. I know how hard that is for her, so I couldn't be happier to see her being social.
I smiled at the sight, and walked over to them.
“Hey!” I greeted, while taking a seat on the other side of her.
She looked surprised to see me.
“Alex? Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be sitting with your new friends.” She raised a brow at me.
“Nah, but I see that you are!” I smiled and gestured towards the boy, who was eating one of those Lunchable thingys.
“Oh yeah, this is Jack. Jack, this is Alex.” Bethany introduced us.
“Hey, Jack!” I flashed him a friendly smile.
“H-hi. Th-thank you for…helping me.” He stuttered out of nervousness, with bright red cheeks.
“No problem. You okay, man?” I gave him a small half smile.
He just nodded in response.
“A-are you?”
“Ha..yeah, thanks.”
He smiled at that, and then turned to smirk at Bethany.
“Your boyfriends cute!” He whisper yelled to her, causing her to blush madly and look away in embarrassment.
I was quite confused by his comment, and I narrowed my eyes and darted them between the two.
Then, I realized what was going on. Jack probably thinks we're dating for some reason, and Bethany hasn't bothered to correct him. Jack also seems to be a homosexual apparently, but that doesn't bother me at all. I guess it bothers the jocks though, and that must be why they pick on him all the time. I hate that. It's lame to make fun of someone for being different. Or just being themselves.
But anyway, it's still kinda weird that Bethany didn't tell him that we're just friends.
I shrugged off the thought and decided to just leave it. I needed to ask Bethany about the party!
“So Beth, apparently Ashlynn's throwing this party next weekend, and wants me to go.” I grinned with excitement.
“Well yeah, all the cool kids get invited to her super cliché high school parties at her big house with blaring music, wild sex, and underaged drinking. Woo hoo! Party of the fucking YEAR!” She said sarcastically, earning a snort from Jack.
“Well, whatever. I wasn't even done!” My excitement didn't fault one bit from her negative attitude towards all things Ashlynn.
“Oh, there's more? Does she also want you to spend the holidays with her in her cozy log cabin in Alaska?” She continued, dramatically.
“No, shut up and let me talk!! As I was saying..I want you to come with me.” I grinned, waiting for her reaction.
“T-to the party? To her party??” She asked in disbelief.
I nodded in response.
“Alex…I really don't think she'd want me there..” She started getting nervous, and looked down at her lap.
“No way, she wouldn't mind you there at all! She doesn't care if I bring friends. Hey, Jack, you should come too!”
Jack's eyes widened at me, and he instantly got just as nervous as she was.
“I-I don't…don’t think that's a g-good idea…” He stuttered.
I understood why he wouldn't want to, because all of those jocks would be there. But, I'd be there too. I wouldn't let them hurt him.
“Come on, man. You deserve to have fun and meet some people! It'll be fun, please go.”
“Uh…I-I-I don't know…I'm not r-really considered…cool..”
“Hey, I won't let them hurt you, Jack. And you are cool. And so are you, Bethany! Come on guys, I won't take no for an answer!” I urged them to come with me.
Even with Ashlynn and the rest of them, I still don't think it would be as fun without them there, with me.
“Um…I-I'll think about it..” Jack shrugged, turning back to his mini nachos.
Bethany just stayed silent and stared at her knees.
I nudged her in the arm with my elbow.
“Come on, please?” I had a hopeful smile on my face.
She just stared at me for a moment, before sighing.
“Ugh Alex, I don't know. Maybe..”
“Yesssss!!” I cheered in victory.
“What?? I didn't even give you a straight answer!” She frowned.
“Oh well! Maybe is good enough for me!” I chuckled, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.
Jack smiled at us with admiration, and Bethany instantly started blushing.
And for some odd reason, I did too.

Later on, school had ended, and Bethany and I had just gotten into her car.
I turned to her and smiled.
She noticed, and gave me a weird look.
“Why the heck are you staring at me like that, ya weirdo?”
“I'm proud of you.” I simply answered, keeping the smile on my face.
“What ever did I do to earn your honor?” She joked.
“You made a friend. I'm proud of you.”
She sighed and gave me a weak smile.
“Thank you, Lex.” She looked down at her steering wheel and tapped her finger on the handle.
“No, seriously. I know it isn't easy for you to do. Jack seems like a guy who could use some friends, and I think it's great that you're being that friend for him. You're a brave kid, you know that?” I nudged her in the arm.
She giggled a bit, and nudged me back.
“Love ya, Al.” She flashed me her beautiful, genuine smile.
“Love you too, Beth.”

Notes

Bethany's sarcasm gives me life.

Working on the next chapter, now. I need to get caught up.
After exams, I was busy writing my Jalex. Which I have now posted.
www.alltimelowfanfiction.com/Story/64475/Shameless/

FUCKING FUTURE HEARTS!!! I'M GONNA GO WITH MY FRIENDS TO THE FUTURE HEARTS TOUR AND IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING FANTASTIC, FUCK!!!!
OH!! WAKE ME UP! SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'M DYING TO LIVEEEE SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE!!!!!!

I'm beyond excited, if you can tell.

Thanks! :)

Title cred: The Party Song- Blink-182