We Were Born To Lose

Mom handed me a small sack of gold. The small weight was the best feeling in the world. I’d never had any money for my own before, I’d never been able to buy myself anything, and yet here in the little bag, were fifteen pieces of gold. A healthy amount, more than what people used to pay to fuck me. I pushed aside those memories, I wouldn’t let anything ruin this.
“Thank you.” I smiled.
“Go and have fun.” She winked. I grinned and ran out her door and walked briskly down to the market. People were selling everything imaginable. There were clothes, which I bought, jewelry, perfumes, trinkets, and preserved foods such as jam. After spending almost all my money, I decided to look around the small trinkets. They had dolls and little carvings made of wood. I knew I should get something for Mom since she’d been so kind to me. I found a little wooden cross and decided to get that for her because even though her religion hates people like me and she will probably hate me too when she figures out I’m gay, she is still a wonderful women and she deserves an example of my gratitude. I drop my clothes off at my room and headed down to hers. She was delighted to say the least. She hung it up over her little cauldron and placed two big kisses on my cheeks. Then she cooked us all a huge dinner and we talked until late in the night.



I absolutely loved my job. I loved serving the Prince. I loved helping out around the castle and everything that came with it. Pretty much the only thing I didn’t like in my life were the nightmares I had every night. I’d have to talk to Mom about those.
I had yet to meet the King but the Prince said that I’d meet him soon which made me slightly nervous. The Prince told me that my sword fighting had greatly improved and that I could come with him on his next patrol. We were currently sat in his tent eating our lunch and talking like we do every day.
“Thank you for training me.” I said.
“You’re welcome, Jack.” He smiled.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” I asked after some silence.
“Well I suppose if I want you to open up, than I must do so as well.” He reasoned.
“So that’s a yes?” I asked, cocking my head.
“Yes.”
“Okay, what happened to your mother?” I asked. He looked down at my words and I instantly regretted them. Who am I to question the Prince about his personal life?
“She died during childbirth. Lisa and I are twins, not identical, fraternal, anyway, I was born first and she barely had enough strength to deliver me. Then when Lisa came, she couldn’t handle it.” He said sadly.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“Tell me about your parents.” He said with a sigh, faking a smile.
“I told you sire, they died.” I reminded him.
“There’s more to it than that.” He said knowingly. I sighed and nodded.
“They never really liked me. They didn’t pay much attention to me as a kid but they still provided for me. Then one day, they came down with something. It started off as a cold but then it just got worse and worse. I tried my hardest to get them better. I fed them in their beds and got anything they needed, all while maintaining the house and garden but they never got better. Then one day, they died. I had a man from the village help me bury them but after that, then the house was taken and I was homeless.” I replied. Almost all of it was truth, I just left out the fact that they didn’t like me because I was gay.
“Then what happened?” He asked. I knew I shouldn’t be putting my problems on my master but it felt so good to talk about my past so I continued.
“Then I met Mr. Smith, or my old master. He was nice at first and took my with him to Rivguard but the second we got there, he turned abusive.”
“What would he do?” He asked.
“Mainly beat me or take away my meals.” I replied, leaving out the sex slavery.
“What did you do for him?” He asked. I wondered why he was asking me all these questions but letting someone in was nice so I didn’t resist.
“I’d work around the house and in the fields.” I replied.
“No you didn’t.” He stated.
“What?”
“You didn’t work in the fields. If you did, your hands would be calloused.” He replied coldly.

Shit.

I searched for an excuse but I couldn’t come up with anything.
“Jack, you jump whenever a man enters a room, you stutter when talking to men, you always have this look of fear in your eyes, you can’t stand loud noises like thunder, your hands aren’t callused implying that there wasn’t any outdoor labor. Jack, tell me what he would do to you.” The Prince urged, I felt myself getting distraught. Flashbacks swarmed my eyes. I could hear the sound of my headboard, feel the ache of fists hitting me.
“I can’t” I said, tears falling from my eyes.
“Just tell me!” His voice raised almost to a yell. I shook my head, stood up, and ran out of his tent crying. I didn’t know where I was going, I just ran. I thought I heard the Prince calling after me but I ignored him. I burst through several doors, not knowing where they led when I was faced with kind eyes. It was Mom. She didn’t say a word as she wrapped her arms around me and let me cry into her shoulder. It was a bit awkward since I was about a foot taller than her but it was comforting anyway. We stood there for a while but then she led me to sit down and she made some tea while humming. I listened to the notes, I didn’t recognize the song but it was soothing. Soon I was faced with a mug of steaming liquid and a women who was smiling sadly at me.
“What’s wrong dear?” She asked.
“I- I c-cant.” I stuttered, fresh tears rolling down my face.
“Sweetheart you can tell me anything. I won’t tell a soul I swear.” She said softly.
“You’d hate me.” I mumbled.
“There isn’t a thing in this world that would make me do such a thing.” She said, and just like that, I told her. I told her about why my parents hated me, what happened when they got sick and when they died, I told her about what my old master would do to me and what he made me do, I told her about how the Prince saved me from all of it and finally I told her about the conversation he and I just had.
“And I know that your religion hates people like me so I’ll go now.” I said sadly, tears streaming down my face as I realized I’d just lost my mother again.
“Jack honey I don’t hate you.” She smiled.
“What?” I asked.
“Sweetheart the passage that people base their homophobic views on was the old testament, that was written mostly by corrupt ‘Men of God’,” She scoffed at the mention of them, “That’s why people usually just pay attention to the New Testament. In which, it says very clearly to love one one another as yourself. Too many people forget that God just wants us to love each other regardless of who they are. So sweetie, I don’t hate you. God made you this way and you are absolutely perfect just the way you are.” She smiled.
“You don’t hate me?” I asked, my head wrapping around it.
“No! And I am so sorry you went through all that. That must’ve been absolutely heartbreaking and you didn’t deserve it. Thank you for telling me and I swear I won’t tell anyone.” She swore.
“Thank you so much.” I gasped, gripping her in another hug.
“You’re welcome sweetie.” She replied.

Notes

Title Cred: Perfect by Pink


1. sorry I haven't been updating as often as I'd hoped

2. Sorry Mom went off on a bit of a tangent there. I'm just sick of people thinking every single Christian is homophobic. I mean don't get me wrong, we have those WBC jackasses and other assholes (honestly those people make me ashamed to call myself christian) but not everyone hates gay people. I have family and friends who are gay/gender fluid/ect. and my whole family are huge supporters of gay rights and stuff like that. I'm sorry about my religion, it's not all of us I promise!!!

3. okay now I'm sorry because I went on a tangent

4. Yes I'm a Christian.....Yes I write smut.........