“NO!” I screamed.

I don’t even remember killing my opponent, all I remember is him being dead on the ground. I fell to my knees beside Jack. His jaw was clenched in pain.

“Jay baby you’ll be okay I promise, alright?” I heard myself speak, more begging than anything.

He nodded but he didn’t say anything, blood was pouring from his chest. I quickly undid my armor and took my shirt off, pressing it to his wound.

“N-no. L-lex. Y-your ar-mor.” He stammered, fighting to get the words out.

Frankly I didn’t give a damn about my armor.

“Shh don’t talk.” I whispered, increasing the pressure.

It wasn’t till someone touched my shoulder that I realized the fighting had stopped.

“Go send for mom NOW!” I screamed.

Picking Jack up carefully and carrying him up to my room.

---

My consciousness was in and out but I liked the moments when I was out because the pain wasn’t there. Sometimes I’d become alert enough to hear voices.

“Zack…Dead…”

That hit me like a dagger in the chest.

Sir Merrick, good, kind, Sir Merrick, was dead.

“He’s….blood…”

The hurt in my heart from the death of my friend was as bad as the unbearable pain on the left side of my chest. I’d never felt anything this bad. My throat closed up and my back lurched. I left a hand touch my arm and pull me to my side as I vomited over the side of the bed. I swear I was breathing knives and exhaling fire. I whimpered because everything hurt.

“Live…Three…Most…”

I felt something cold being pressed to my forehead, I felt sweat dripping down my body but I wasn’t hot. In fact, I was cold. I was so cold.

“Jay?…There?…Love…You.”

I wanted to reply, I wanted to so bad. But my voice wouldn’t work. Once again, I’d been muted. I felt a hand in mine and I assumed that was Alex’s so I squeezed it.

Then I went out again.

“…Been out for two days.”

I opened my eyes and looked over to see Alex and Mom talking.

“Cold.” I rasped out in a harsh whisper.
“Okay, honey.” Mom smiled, moving to the closet and grabbing more blankets.
“Alex,” I whimpered, “Hurts.”
“I know, I know it does baby.” He murmured, kissing my head.
“He’s burning up.” He mumbled to mom but I heard it.

She looked very solemn before she left the room, I can only assume to get medicine.

“Here this’ll make you feel better.” He comforted, piling on more blankets and pressing a cool rag to my face.

I knew I was going to die.

I saw the look on Mom’s face when Alex told her I was hot.

“You know what we’re going to do when you get better?” Alex asked.

I wasn’t going to tell him what I knew, he probably already did and besides, I wanted to spare him the pain of having to face it.

“Remember when I gave you your ring?” He asked.

Of course I remembered, I never took it off. I moved my left thumb so that I could twirl it slightly on my fourth finger.

“I’m going to take you there and we’ll get a priest and some friends and we’ll have a wedding. We won’t have to hide anymore. We’ll show everyone how much we love each other and that they’re free to love whoever they want.” He said and I smiled right back at him.

I knew it wouldn’t happen but it was a nice idea.

A particularly painful wave caused me to cry out and grip the sheets.

“I’m right here baby, I’m not going anywhere.” Alex cried, squeezing my hand.

I looked at his face, worry etched into his features. I focused on those glimmering gold flecks which always calmed me as every inch of my body was set on fire and frozen at the same time. Then slowly, I started to lose feeling in my toes, then my fingertips, then my ankles, then my wrists. I knew I was going. I got more and more tired, my eyes fighting to stay open.

“Baby?” Alex’s voice echoed in my hears.
“I love you.” I murmured.
“No, don’t say that as if you’re leaving.” He whimpered, clutching my hand tightly but I could just barely feel it.

Keeping my eyes open got harder and harder.

People always talk about how dying is just like falling asleep…How right they are..

“Don’t you fucking close your eyes.” He said firmly. “Don’t you close those gorgeous eyes of yours.”

But I did.

I gazed at those beautiful golden flecks one last time before finally shutting my eyes.

“I love you too.” I heard him whisper.

Then everything was gone.

No more pain.

No more hurt.

Everything was calm.

Notes

Title cred: Lullabies - All Time Low

(chapter based off of Unicorn Hair by ilovetea )

*Kitty Forman laugh*

im so sorry

okay the next chapter is the last one but i promise it gets better okay i promise