We Were Born To Lose

“HE’S GOING TO WHAT?” The king was outraged when we told him about Lance’s intentions.
“Yes Sire.” Alex said through gritted teeth.
“That fucker! Is there no honor? No loyalty? It’s all about power now, no more trust!” He cried out, grabbing his sword.
“Does that mean we have your sword?” Alex asked.
“My sword and my army. I’ll send for them at once, they’ll be here by nightfall.”
“Thank you friend.” Alex nodded before heading out to tell King Peter the news.

We never got to.

Ever since I can remember, I disliked the King. But seeing him dead on the floor with a knife in his heart was like a kick to the gut because though I wasn’t sad for his sake or mine, I was sad because now there was another person on the list of people who Alex has lost.

“FATHER!” Alex screamed, running into his room.

The king lay unmoving. I closed my eyes and stood back as I let Alex quietly cry over his father. When I opened my eyes, I noticed a small hole in the wall. I moved over and looked through it, seeing into the room next to us. Dread swarmed through my stomach. I turned around to see Alex lifting up his father and placing him on the bed. I bit my lip as Alex braced his hands on the mattress, I could practically see the anger and pain coursing through him.

“Alex.” I spoke, my voice quivering.

I watched his chest heave as his breathing grew heavier.

“Lex.” I whispered, shrinking back.

He would explode at any second.

“DAMN IT!” He screamed, spinning around, the fire in the fireplace had nothing on the blaze in his eyes.

I took a deep breath, I didn’t dare approach him. He looked like he was about to murder someone. I watched him close his eyes, the soft glow from the fire illuminating his skin and causing his streaming tears to shine.

“Alex.” I murmured softly.

He opened his eyes at looked at me. There wasn’t any more anger, just sadness.

“Oh Alex.” I whispered, running up to him and enveloping him in a hug.

Alex’s breathing was ragged and I could tell he was trying his hardest not to let out his agonized sobs.

“H-he was my dad. He would’ve hated me if he knew, but he was still my dad.” He whispered.

I knew he was talking about his sexuality and I rubbed his back gently because I knew exactly how he felt. Alex was like me. He didn't have anyone anymore. Of course he still had me, but it's not quite the same as family.

“I know, Alex. At the end of it all, he was your father. No matter what the circumstances, it will always hurt.”
“How did they find out so quickly? Do you think Vincent tipped them off?” He asked.

I hated that he couldn’t grieve over his father but we didn’t have time. Cenrid knew and at any second, we could be under attack.

“No, come here and look at this.” I replied, pulling him over to the hole in the wall.
“I think they listened through this.” I explained as Alex looked through to see the room next door.
“How did I miss that?” He asked.
“Alex don’t you blame yourself. It’s so small you can only see it if you already knew it was there or if you looked directly at it.”
“I should’ve seen it.” He mumbled.
“You’re not perfect, don’t expect yourself to be. You’re human.” I murmured. “Now what do we do?”
“Let me think.” He licked his lips.

He looked at the fire for a few moments before taking a breath. “Okay we’ll tell Vincett that…”

He trailed off, not wanting to say it.

“And then what?” I asked, sparing him.
“And then we confront Cenrid.” Alex replied firmly.

We ran to Alex room quickly, it was only a matter of time before Cenrid made his move against us. I moved to help Alex with his armor but he stopped me.

“Go get Alice, Cass, and Mom and get them out of here. There’s about to be a lot of fighting and I don’t want them getting hurt.” He ordered.
“They aren’t going to like that.” I said with a grimace.
“Tell them their King orders it.” Alex said with gritted teeth.

Despite everything that was going on, I was proud of him for accepting his role so quickly seeing as he’s known about his fathers death not even ten minutes. I raced out of the room and to mom’s quarters first.

“Mom!” I cried, bursting in.

She jumped and after seeing it was me, continued stirring whatever she was cooking.

“Now now, Jack. What’s all the fuss? Honestly running about like that you could trip and fall!”
“Mom you need to get out of the castle.” I said, lowering my voice.

She stopped what she was doing and turned to face me.

“What’s going on?” She asked gravy.
“The king is dead, Cenrid’s men killed him. I’ll explain more later but we have to go now.”
“If something happens, I need to be here to heal them!” She cried.
“I can do it, Alex wants you somewhere safe.”

She hesitated but then sighed,“Okay, bless that boy.” as she grabbed her shawl.
“I still have to get Alice and Cass, wait just outside the gates for them.” I instructed.
“Alright and Jack?”
“Yes?”
“Be careful.”
“I will.”
“I mean it. I may not have given birth to you, but you’re my son and I love you just as much as Alex does.”
“How did-“
“My child the way he looks at you says it all.” She smiled.

I wanted to cry because I knew there was a chance something might happen to one of us and I might not see her again. I wasn’t really religious, but I went ahead and prayed to her God that she and the girls would be safe.

“I love you too, mom.” I whispered before I kissed her forehead, “Now go, you’ll see the girls soon.”

She nodded and stepped out and I hung back for a few minutes so that it wouldn’t look suspicious. I looked at her room, taking in the security it had as if I were looking back in time. I remember when I first came there,

"Ah Alex, would you mind sending someone to get me more Yarrow- Oh hello!" A nice plump women was standing over a small cauldron which was bubbling. I noticed how she called him Alex not your Highness or Sire.
"Good afternoon Mom." He greeted warmly. I was confused, surely this couldn't be his mother. The women noticed my confusion and smiled at me,
"I'm not really his mother, everyone just calls me that. My name if Fina but you may call me Mom if you wish. And Alex I’ve never seen this young man before what's his name?" She asked. The Prince looked at me quizzically. “Alexander you don't even know what his name is?" She exclaimed putting her hands on her hips.
"Well?" The Prince said, looking at me.
"I'm J-Jack. Jack Barakat.” I murmured.

I smiled at myself. I wasn’t that shy, frightened boy anymore. I glanced over at the fireplace where I met my first friends,

Mom was stirring something in a pot and there were two women and two men sitting by the fire. "Go sit with them dear, dinner will be finished in a little while, after dinner I want you to stay because I need to put some more comfy on you." She said. I nodded to show I heard her and walked over to the fire.
"Hello!" Greeted one of the women, "Please sit!" She said, scooting over on the bench to make room for me.
"Thanks." I said quietly.
"I'm Cassadee, but you can call me Cass" She said, "and that's Alice." She said, motioning to the other girl. Cass had dark brown hair and tan skin, and Alice had beautiful long blond wavy hair and light blue eyes.
"I'm Matt and that's David, Cass’ brother." Said a man with black hair. You could see the family similarities between David and Cass.
"What's your name and who's servant are you?" David asked.
"I-I'm Jack and Prince Alexander's." I said quietly. They all said things like 'Wow' and 'Good for you!'.
"Dinner lovelies." Mom called.

Times were so much simpler then. I didn’t have the crushing weight of stress about Alex or the kingdom, sure I was worried about anyone finding out about me, but worrying about yourself is nothing compared to worrying about someone you love, someone you hold higher than yourself. I sighed and took one last look before exiting. I went to Cass’ room first since she was closer and luckily, Alice was also there. I quickly explained to them what had happened and that Mom was waiting for them just outside the gates. She did protest but I told them what Alex had said and they reluctantly agreed.

“I’ll see you soon.” Alice smiled before hugging me.
“Yes we will.” Cass said as she hugged me.
“No doubt, but just in case, I want you too know how grateful I am, for everything. When I came here I was so afraid and so sad, you both helped bring me happiness again.” I smiled.
“Oh don’t lie to us, we all know it was mostly Alex.” Alice grinned.
“Seriously, how does everyone know?” I laughed.
“The way he looks at you… Rian looked at me the same way.” Cass smiled sadly.
“He’d be very proud of you, Cass. Now go, you’re running out of time.”

We exchanged hugs again before I watched them run out of the door. I breathed in relief before running back to Alex knowing all hell was about to break loose.

Notes

Title cred: Tidal Waves by All Time Low ft. Homeboy Mark Hoppus

Shit's gonna hit the faaaaan
Shit's gonna hit the faaaaan

anyways happy Easter!!!

Also I know I haven't updated since atl have released new music so let me just freAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE RUNAWAYS AND ESPECIALLY TIDAL WAVES I MEAN FUCKING SERIOUSLY THE CHORUS AND BRIDGE IN TIDAL WAVES MEAN SO MUCH TO ME HOLY FUCK THAT SONG IS GOING TO BE THE THERAPY OF THIS ALBUM.