We Were Born To Lose
I Promise If You’re With Me, Say The Word And We’ll Find A Way
I opened my eyes and for a few seconds, I was happy. I mean how couldn’t I be? I was laying in Alex’s arms, completely safe…Then I remembered. Tears welled up in my eyes at an alarming pace and I buried my face deeper into Alex’s chest.
I was woken by a sniffle. My eyes shot open and I saw Jack pushing his face into my chest and felt hot tears seeping through my tunic. I tightened my grip around him and held him close, trying to protect him from the world.
You should’ve found him sooner. Hell, you should’ve gone after him! You shouldn’t’ve left him alone! You were already suspicious of Balthazar, why would you leave Jack unprotected?
This is all your fault.
I squeezed my eyes shut and kissed the top of his head, trying not to break out in tears.
Keep it together, Alex! Jack needs you to be strong for him.
I blinked back my tears as Jack silently cried into my chest.
We lay there for a long time and I didn’t have any intention of leaving him. Oh no. He was not leaving my sight after this.
It was mid day when I finally spoke,
“I’m sorry.” My voice was horse and whispered. He looked up at me in confusion, his eyes red from the tears.
“This is all my fault. If I hadn’t let you leave…If I had gone after you-“ He cut me off by shaking his head. He mouthed the word, “No.” my throat tightened again and I swallowed the lump in my throat. He gave me a smile that spoke one thousand words. It was a smile of love, comfort, safety, and forgiveness. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven. After all I’d done and didn’t do, I didn’t deserve him. But he cuddled into my chest despite all that and fell asleep in my arms. I vowed then and there that from that point on,
I will do anything
I will sacrifice anything
I will live through anything
to ensure that he is safe.
Notes
Title Cred: Somewhere In Neverland by All Time Low
Sorry about my chapters being all short and shitty. I'm not having therapy for the next two weeks and so I'm kinda messed up because of that and I'm having nightmares and A.D.D. is being a bitch and I'm just trying to pull myself together mentally.
IM DYING THIS IS THE BEST FANFIC IVE EVER READ AND IM SOBBING AND ITS 3 AM. NOOOOOOO MY FEELINGS SEND HELP
4/8/17