We Were Born To Lose

I lay there for a long time but the rain never lightened up. Then I heard a snicker and a hairy thing touch my forehead. I opened my eyes to see Sieder looking down at me. He blew air into my face.
“Sieder!” I exclaimed. I got up slowly so I wouldn’t startle him and took hold of his lead rope and attached it to the other side making makeshift reigns. I grabbed his mane and hoisted myself onto his back but I had absolutely no idea where I was.
“Okay boy, take us home.” I said. Sieder, of course, had no idea what I said so we just wandered around till I spotted an area that was familiar. Soon after that, I was releasing him into a small pen with the other horses and walking up to the castle in the pouring rain. I was so wet that my footprints were puddles on the stone floor and my cloths stuck to my body showing just how skinny I really was and I was so cold that my teeth chattered uncontrollably. I knocked on the Prince’s door timidly.
“Come in.” He said quietly. I opened the door and saw him sitting in one of two chairs, staring at the fire. He looked very sad for some reason.
“I got your horse.” I said, gritting my teeth to keep them still. At the sound of my voice, his head shot up and he stared at me with wide eyes. Then all of a sudden, I was enveloped in a huge hug.
“Oh my god I thought you’d died.” He said.
“What?” I said, wrapping my arms around him.
“The stable went down. I thought you were under it all. Oh my god.” He spoke into my hair, hugging me tighter. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that so I just went with,
“Your horse is in the pen with the others.”
“Who cares about the horse?” He asked, then suddenly, he jumped off of me. “You shit, how could you do that?” He snapped. I jumped and shrunk back at his harshness, my teeth stopped chattering as I froze. “I gave you direct orders to get the fuck out of there and what did you fucking do? You ignored them. You’re so fucking stupid that you couldn’t just run out of a stable?” He asked. The air had shifted dramatically. He used to be so kind what happened? I knew I disobeyed but shouldn’t he be happy I got his horse back?

No, you disobeyed him. Look at you. He was the best thing that ever happened to you and you fucked it up.

Then he spun around and walked to his bed and picked up his sword. I started shaking at his action.

Is he going to kill me?
Is he going to hurt me?

With a yell, he swung the sword at the column on his bed and lodged it halfway through it. This made me completely fall to the floor in submission and start shaking. The Prince fixed his cold glare at me and I almost passed out in fright. I wanted to sink into the floor and become nothing. I wanted so badly for him to not be angry with me. I longed for him to be pleased, to be happy with me. Or at least to be indifferent towards me, but apparently I’m not capable of even that since he seemed to hate me so much. I stared with wide eyes into his hard gaze but it softened when he saw my shaking.“Oh my god you must me freezing.” He mumbled, grabbing clothes out of his wardrobe. “Change into these, I’ll go get some tea from Mom to warm you up.” He said, leaving. I was shocked by his sudden mood change but I changed anyway. His smell came over me, surrounding me and making me feel safe as I allowed myself to get lost in his scent. I smiled and neatly folded my clothes by the door. Then I crouched on the floor by the fire trying to get rid of the horrible chill that seemed to be buried in my bones. The door opened and shut signaling that the Prince was back.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
“I-I w-was j-just-“ I stammered, thinking I’d die if he got angry again.
“It’s fine, don’t worry. I was just wondering why you didn’t sit in one of the chairs.” He said as he wrapped me up in a blanket and handed me a mug of tea. I sipped and the gingery scalding hot liquid rushed into my mouth making me wince. The Prince motioned to the chair, instructing me to sit down. I obeyed and he sat as well. He looked at me with a hard expression again making me look down.
“Why didn’t you listen to me?” He asked. I didn’t answer, I just hung my head in shame, “I told you not to go after the horse. Why didn’t you listen?” He asked again.
“Because he was your horse.” I mumbled.
“So? There are plenty of horses.” He said.
“Yeah but that one was yours.” I replied, looking up at him. He looked at me for a long time, as if I was a puzzle.
“For someone who just started serving me, your loyalty is incredible.” He said. I shrugged and looked down again.
“I-I’d better go. Mom is going to w-wake me up.” I said.
“No. Look at you, you’re still shivering. You are staying right here.” He said.
“O-okay.” I whispered and he told me stories about his times on patrol with a smile on his face, remembering old times. Once, he was ambushed and was outnumbered three to one and he and his men won. Another time, they found a family’s cart turned over, but they didn’t know it was the Prince who was helping them so when they tried to rob a bunch on knights…It didn’t turn out so well for them. Another time, he was fighting in a battle and had a shoulder and leg wound. He was barely clinging to consciousness as this warrior who was twice as big as him was wailing down on him, that’s when Sir Dawson came in and saved his life. I tried my hardest to stay awake and listen to his stories but eventually exhaustion gripped me and I fell asleep.

Notes

Title Cred: Truce by Twenty One Pilots (if you still haven't listened to it, I highly suggest you do. It's so slow and beautifully sad it's just asdfghjkl;' just listen to it)



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