We Were Born To Lose

“Yeah I could see that.” He smirked. I blushed and looked down at my feet.
“Come on, keep your head up.” He smiled, tucking a finger beneath my chin and guiding my head up, then he started leaning in which made my heart start pounding.

What is he doing?

I didn’t want this. Not with him and I knew that if Alex-
“BALTHAZAR!” Alex’s voice yelled, cutting me off mid thought and I knew I was in trouble. It’s not like I’d wanted this! He just suddenly came onto me! Sure there had been a few lingering touches or smiles here and there but I never really thought anything of it. At the sound of Alex’s voice, he hopped off of me and there stood before us was a very pissed off looking Prince. I tried to convey that this was not my intention with my expression, but by the cold glare he gave me, it was obvious that he either didn’t catch it or just didn’t believe me.
“Sir Balthazar, would you please give Jack and I a moment?” He asked throughout gritted teeth.
“Sire-“
“NOW BALTHAZAR!” He screamed. The knight looked at me with an apologetic expression, then reluctantly walked off. I wished I could follow him and get away from Alex’s wrath. He grabbed my arm roughly and hauled me further away from camp, probably so that he could shout at me without anyone hearing. He threw me in front of him, almost making me fall down and he spun at me.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed, his eyes dark and narrowed. I tasted fear on my tongue and I wondered how I was going to claw my way out of this one.
“It’s not what it looks like! I almost fell and he caught me, then I told him how I was angry that someone would question my loyalty to you-“
“You loyalty?” He asked. “You have no loyalty! You just sat there and tried to snog the guy!”
“No! He tried to kiss me!”
“That may very well be, but you were going to let him!” He fumed.
“No! I was just shocked! I promise I’d never-“
“You promise.” He scoffed. “You promise that you’d what? You’d never kiss him? You’d never fuck him? I see the way he looks at you Jack,” He took a step forward, I could hear the power in his footsteps and it only made me drink back more. “I bet you’re just dying to climb on top of him.” He spat. I went weak at his words, it was like he drained all the energy from me.
“N-no.” I whispered, blinking back tears.
“You can’t even voice your denial.” He sneered.

No no no no no everything is falling apart, no.

“No, please Alex, please. I’d never. Its you. It’s you and only you please believe me. I’d never take him because you’re my only one please.” I begged, actually falling to my knees before him, tears streaming down my face.
“You’re pathetic.” He mumbled.
“I’m not lying, please!” I cried, putting a hand on his arm.
“Shut up. Yes you are. I won’t take you back now. I was willing to look past the whole slavery thing because none of that was your fault, but this? How could I? You’re screwing one of my knights behind my back!” He snapped. He was blowing this way out of proportion but then, that’s what he does.
“No! Please believe me, I’d never!” I sobbed. He jerked his arm out of my grasp.
“Jack, how can I trust someone I hate?” He snarled. That’s when I froze. Literally. All the heat left me. I was so cold. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped for a second.

Hate?

“Y-you hate me?” I gasped.
“Of course! You are fucking my knights behind my back when you told me I was the only one! Then when I catch you, you come up with a pathetic lie! How could you not see a rock in the middle of the path!”
“I-I.” All words left me.

How can I believe someone I hate?

His words rung in my ears, deafening in volume. it shook me to the core. I was a feather and I was falling. He dropped me just…like…that. He gave me one last glare before stalking off toward camp. I gasped and watched him go, trying to keep my sobs inside. My world fell to bits. I let my self crumple to the ground and lay there, not caring if I was alive or dead. I closed my eyes and bore of the ache in my chest.

I deserve this. I should’ve pushed Balthazar off of me, but if I had, what would he have done to me? It doesn’t matter. Anything would be better than this. Anything would be better than having him hate me.

“Jack?” Matt’s voice filled my ears. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but lay there. I felt him take my shoulders and push me up. I opened my eyes to see his concerned face.
“What happened? I saw the Prince walking back looking angry.”
The mention of him made me start crying again.
“Oh Jack.” He whispered and held me to his chest. He rubbed my back and whispered sweet things in my ear things like, “It’ll be okay.”, “Nothing’s gonna hurt you.”, and “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”.

After I’d calmed down, I explained everything that had happened. He knew he couldn’t say anything to make it hurt less, so he just held me for a long time until my breathing was no longer ragged.
“Come on, we’ve gotta get ready for battle. You better now?” He asked. I wiped my tears away and nodded, taking a deep breath.

Notes

Title Cred: Love Like War by All Time Low ft. Vic Fuentes


oops


okay sorry i haven't been updating. I've been on the go literally all day these past couple days.
anyways happy Halloween!! Yes I'm 16. Yes I went trick or treating. Yes I got a shit load of candy. Did you guys do anything for Halloween? Also have you listened to the Spotify playlist? (https://play.spotify.com/user/thereckless_andthebrave/playlist/3lsB1BqmTakvY00zlMs40F
)
also what emotions has this update caused you? Let me knooow