We Were Born To Lose

I carefully knocked on the Prince’s door, a servant had come to my room to tell me that he wished to see me, nerves were boiling in my stomach when I heard him call,
“Come in.”
As soon as the door was closed, Alex threw himself onto me making me jump but once I realized that no harm was going to come, I was fine.
“I am so sorry I did that to you.” He whispered. I hated myself, but I forgave him. Everyone has their weakness, when it come to that one thing, they will never be able to see rationally, and it looked like Alex was my weakness. I knew I shouldn’t forgive him but even if I didn’t want to, I didn’t have much choice anyway seeing as I belong to him. But even though he’d been forgiven, I still wanted to know why he’d do this to me.
“Why do you do that to me?” I asked, my voice sounded a lot more frail than I’d wanted.
“I’m sorry. I get angry and-“
“Why?” I interrupted. Frustration making me forget my fear. “Why do you get angry?”
“Jack.” He spoke, trying to hint at something.
“Why?” I refused to take it. Then he took my face between his hands and kissed me hard.

Oh.

That’s why.

He released me and I gawked at him. Unspoken words and forbidden feelings lingering between us. I now knew. Such feelings and desires must never be spoken about. We must continue as if there is no skip of the heart or butterfly-filled belly when our hands brush while doing menial tasks. That is why he was angry.
“Then why do you hurt me?” I asked quietly.
“I was angry and delusional and sometimes I still am, but I thought that if I got you to hate me then…”

Then it’d stop.

Then those thoughts would go away and those feelings would cease. In a way, it made sense. I knew we would never have what we so desperately needed. Me coming from such a filthy background and him coming from such a royal one, we were born to lose.

Notes

Title cred: Fake Your Death by My Chemical Romance

THERE IS YOUR EXPLANATION

this chapter was difficult to write because I didn't want them to outright say anything but I didn't want it to be too cryptic