We Were Born To Lose

A few days had passed. I was still feeling guilty about killing the man but I knew that I had no choice. The Prince took me on patrols with the knights but luckily none of them were as exciting as the previous. Mostly we just ride around a trail which usually took about two hours and then came home. There were several patrols a day but the Prince and I only went on one a day, the guards and knights took care of the rest. My day consisted of waking up, bringing the Prince his meal, washing his clothes, helping him with his armor, training, cleaning his room, taking a break (which I usually spent watching him training with the knights), patrol, helping him remove his armor, then serve him dinner and have the rest of the night off. I was busy almost all day but I loved it. I was folding the Prince’s clothes when he walked in and told me that King Peter was going to hold a banquet in honor of all the prize horses escaping the fire and that King told the Prince to bring me. My stomach flipped and I went lightheaded.
“Wh-what?” I asked.
“You seem to say that a lot. Don’t worry Jack, for a King, he’s not a scary as he seems. He’s actually very considerate towards servants.” He explained.
“Yeah okay.” I said, still freaking out.
“Jack,” He walked up to me and put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “He’s not going to hurt you. Even if he tries, I won’t let him.”
Looking into those eyes, it was impossible to stay in the state that I was in. I calmed down quickly while staring at the gold flecks in them that shimmered in the morning light.
“Okay.” I breathed.
“Right. Now go get ready! I can take care of myself.” He said.
“Yes Sire.” I murmured and walked out. I bathed and lathered every inch of me in soap and I didn’t get out until I was absolutely sure that every inch of me had been scrubbed within an inch of it’s life. I got out and dried off with one of the fluffy, soft towels I’d been provided with and then picked out the nicest thing I had. I settled on the usual brown linen pants and a blue button up tunic. I polished my boots and belt and put those on and finally I ran my fingers through my hair so that it looked messy, but tamed. I walked out of my room to see the Prince trotting down the stairs.
“Perfect!” He smiled. I blushed at his comment and cursed myself for not meeting him in his room. “Okay you will be given either a tray or a pitcher of ale or something. You will be instructed on what to do. There is always a lot of food made and we never eat it all so when we’re done, you and the servants will sit down and eat the leftovers. Don’t tell anyone you do that though. Technically you’re not supposed to.” He winked. I blushed and looked down at my boots and watched the floor pass underneath them. We got to the banquet hall and I saw a long table filled with magnificent looking food. There was a pig, heaps of mashed potatoes, vegetables, cakes, pies, everything you could imagine. I reported to the head of the kitchen and she gave a me a pitcher of wine and told me that I was never to let anyone’s cup run dry. The servants got to work tending to the people and I would occasionally fill a knight’s cup. I’ll admit I was terrified. I was in a room which was filled with people who were so much more powerful than me. They could snap their fingers and I’d be dead. Not only that, but they were much more physically stronger than me so if they wanted to use me, they could with almost no effort, and finally, I was gay. If anyone in this room found that out, I would be a dead man. I was defiantly cutting it close by being the servant of the son who’s father detested people like me. I was circling the table and saw to my despair that the Prince and the King’s goblets were almost empty. I decided to fill the Prince’s first and focus on not accidentally pouring it all over him. My hands were shaking slightly as I tipped it and the liquid came rushing into his cup.
“You’re okay.” He whispered. My heart rate slowed and I stopped shaking. My stomach was still curling with nerves as I stepped over. The King was a slim man with a short beard who was probably in his fifties. He aged well and was quite handsome for a man of his age. He looked up at me and gave me a friendly smile after I’d finished and I took a breath and retreated from his chair. The rest of the night went easily, the Prince got a little tipsy but luckily he hid it well. But once we got to the hall, away from everybody, he started stumbling and I realized he was more intoxicated than I thought. I helped him up the stairs and into his room. He crashed onto his bed and fell asleep the second he hit the mattress, his legs hanging off the side of the bed. I chuckled to myself and removed his boots. Then I guided his lower half onto the support of the mattress. I covered him up with the blankets and positioned a pillow under his head. Then, without thinking, I kissed his forehead. I let my lips linger on his skin which was warm and very soft. I loved kissing him, it was like I’d been parched and the second my lips touched him, my thirst was quenched. The second my lips left his head, I freaked out.

What have I done? I just kissed the Prince. The Prince for fucks sake!

What was more terrifying is that I was longing to kiss him again, but not on his forehead. I wanted to kiss his lips, to feel his rough skin on my smooth ones. And even to go lower and make him feel amazing.

Stop that, Jack. There is no way in hell that that would ever happen.

I bit my lip and fled his room. Never have I actually wanted to…Be…With someone. I’ve always detested sex because I’d just been used for it. But now, I wanted to make him feel good. I wanted to see him sweaty and writhing beneath me. I wanted to see him dying for me to touch him. Dying for just a fraction of me.

Stop thinking like that, Jack. What the fuck?

I swallowed and crashed into bed. He is the son of the man who banned homosexuality. If either one of them found out that I was gay, let alone attracted to the Prince, I’d be tortured and killed. The Prince certainly is not going to risk his crown for me.

Notes

Title cred: Love Like War by All Time Low

Okay I feel like I nailed the title. That lyric is exactly how Jack is feeling rn
If you can't tell I've had a good day which is amazing because this past week has been kinda shitty.


Okay so in the last chapter I asked you to tell me your favorite ATL song and why so now I'll tell you mine.

My favorite is Therapy. It was the first ATL song I heard and it was late at night and I was having a really bad time. It was a really dark place in my life and everything was crashing down on me and it was really tough. I was on youtube because whenever things get tough I always turn to music and I saw the song Therapy. I listened to it all night on replay. When I hear that song, it's like my soul screams the lyrics because that song is who I am. I honestly don't know what I'd do if that song hadn't been written. Therapy means the world to me and I can never thank the guys enough for writing it.


ANYWAY


if you still haven't commented your favorite ATL song, I encourage you to so and please tell me why it's your favorite and why it means so much to you.