Content warning: rape, mentions of abuse.

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Alex arrived at his workplace on time. He was horribly nervous, feeling as if his guts were on flames which couldn’t be extinguished by the simultaneous downpour of ice-water on them. He was trying to conceal it as well as he could and his arms were covered in more bruises than the day before but not even that had helped. He went to the bathroom to check if his button down was looking good enough for a talk with his boss and noticed that his face was almost as white as the piece of clothing.

He took a deep breath. “You can make it, Alex,” he tried to make himself believe. With the stress on ‘tried’.

When he came back to the counter, the girl he worked a lot of his shifts with had him come over.

“Some guy came in and said to call Jack. He seemed pretty upset,” she whispered into Alex’s ear. Alex nodded and only barely suppressed a groan. One more thing to deal with that he didn’t want to deal with. Jack might become a problem and he had no idea what to tell him if he kept being persistent.

His boss called him into his office a few seconds later. The “office” was just a tiny, uncleaned, dark room with a desk, a big swivel chair and a small wooden chair. His boss was sat in the swivel chair and gestured for Alex to sit down on the uncomfortable chair. He wasn’t even called Frederico, his name was Mr. Marco Andretti.

“So, Mr. Gaskarth…”

“Yes?”

“I haven’t been very happy with your work lately.”

“I-“

“You always arrive late and I’ve heard that you go to the bathroom quite often.” His boss’ voice was cold and not even the lingering Italian accent was able to make it a little warmer.

“I didn’t know there was a limit to the bathroom trips I could take,” Alex replied. He tried to not make it sound like a reproach but it seemed that the older man took it as one.

“Don’t try to tell me that going to the bathroom twice an hour is normal.”

“What if I had a bladder problem?” Alex said. He felt sick but something inside him wouldn’t stop with the provocative answers.

“Well then I can’t do anything. But it’s a real issue that you are always late. What do you say to that?”

“Not today?”

“Excuse me?”

“I wasn’t late today.”

“That may be true but I wish it didn’t take a meeting with me making fire under your ass to have you on time!” his boss exclaimed.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said. He himself was kind of surprised by his giving way but it seemed it had been the right thing to say.

“You better be… I’m giving you one last chance. Don’t mess this up or you’ll be...” the Italian man made a gesture that looked like he was flicking a gross thing off his desk.

“I’ll try.” Alex felt excitement and gladness rush through him. He really couldn’t afford to lose this job especially because his student loans were far from being paid off and his hospital bills from a visit a few months ago still weren’t paid and it was hard to find a job that paid as much as this one with the few qualifications he had.

“But only on one condition,” the boss added. He was breathing heavily and a dirty grin was spreading across his face. Alex looked at him, not quite understanding what the man meant.

“Let me explain this a little further… So you have a nice ass and my wife isn’t what she used to be anymore…” Andretti licked his lips and watched Alex closely. Alex’s mind was slowly wrapping itself around what was going on, what the man wanted. As he did, the sickness that had been concentrated in his stomach spread through his body like a forest fire spreads in an especially dry summer. He could feel the colour draining from his face. Alex knew that if he moved now, he would throw up all over the place. He sat there, staring at his boss with huge eyes, every piece of mind concentrated on not throwing up.

When he felt like he would be able to open his mouth without puking again, he spoke. “This is illegal.”
“Well, it looks like I’ll have to fire you then…” Andretti’s hand wandered to a drawer, presumably to get out a slip of paper that he would sign to dismiss Alex.

“No, please wait! Just… this is illegal and I could go to the police and you’d get into trouble.”

“Then go ahead and tell them! Maybe you’ll even get a job with the police if you’re such good friends.” A dirty laugh shook the body of Andretti.

“Can I think about this?” Alex asked quietly.

“You have five minutes.”

“That’s-“

His boss ended his sentence with a gesture.

Alex sat there, his mind feeling sort of numb. Andretti was threatening him to fire him if he didn’t let him be fucked. Alex felt like this was a really bad nightmare and he just wished he had died in his sleep the night before. He closed his eyes and shut them really hard, hoping for everything to have passed when he tore them open again. But he was still in the tiny, stinky room with his sleazy boss in front of him.

He didn’t know what to do. If he lost his job, he wouldn’t be able to pay off his debts and the bills that were piling daily wouldn’t be paid either, in turn making more debts. If he said yes, he would be raped by a fat Italian man, probably more than once but he would keep his job and would be able to pay his bills.

He closed his eyes and pushed away the tears. He didn’t really have any other option if he didn’t want to be expelled from his place and end up on the street. Flats in New York City were expensive. He would be able to cope with the trauma, he told himself. He ignored the stinging in his eyes and heart and opened his eyes again.

“I’ll do it,” he said quietly.

“Very good,” his boss replied, rubbing his hands, grinning even dirtier if that was possible. “So come here, pretty boy…” Alex forced himself to get up and walked over to the other side of the table. After a few disgusting kisses, his boss spun him around, tore down Alex’s pants and bent him over the table.

Alex tried to not think of how bad it hurt, he tried to think of anything else but what was happening. At least a condom was being used. Alex bit his knuckles to avoid screaming. He was trying to numb his mind so the memories wouldn’t be as bad but it somehow didn’t work.

When his boss was done, Alex stood up, using all the left-over strength he had and pulled his pants up.

“You’re a good fuck, mhm... You may leave. See you soon...”

Alex stumbled out of the door, the numbness setting in now. He didn’t notice the girl shooting him a weird look as he left the restaurant. He somehow made it home, his mind on autopilot.

His legs were shaking and when he had entered his flat, he just kind of gave up and fell down. His feelings were coming back and overwhelming him; tears were spilling down his cheeks like milk spills when it boils over. He landed on the floor in a little pile, feeling like the pile of dirty laundry that was on his bedroom floor. Only much, much dirtier and grosser.

He tried to get up again after a while but he somehow couldn’t. He didn’t even panic all that much at the loss of the ability to walk, he just was too exhausted. But the bit of anxiety in him forced him to get out his phone and scroll to the contact named “Café Jack”. He knew he could’ve called one of his other friends but he somehow decided against it. He pressed the small green call button, the colour burning into his eyes.

Jack answered almost immediately even though it was almost 1 am.

“Jack.”

“It’s Alex. You said to call.” Alex’s voice was rough and quiet.

“Yes! Um, we should probably talk about this in person?”

“Then come over.” Alex was way too out of it to consider the possible consequences this might have.

“C-come over?”

“Mhm.” The address was given to Jack and they ended the call.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Alex tried to call out that the door was unlocked but his voice was really weak. Luckily, Jack understood anyways.

The door opened and Jack stood in front of Alex. Alex watched as emotions glided over Jack’s face, surprise, confusion and worry.

“Alex! What happened?” Jack kneeled down and took Alex’s pulse.

“Let’s not go there. I just need help getting up and getting to the bathroom,” Alex said. He tried to hide the shakiness in his voice but it was kind of hard and didn’t work that well. Jack noticed but he decided it was better not to stress Alex and bug him. He helped the older one up, supporting him on his way to the bathroom.

“Do you need any help with like… getting undressed?” Jack offered.

“I… I don’t think so,” Alex said. He couldn’t have Jack seeing his bruises. The black-haired guy nodded and left him to sit on the chair in the bathroom.

“Stay or leave, whatever you want,” Alex added. Jack called back a “yes”, whatever that meant.

Alex tried to get out of his pants but his arms didn’t work. They were just too weak and shaky and his vision was a bit blurry in addition. He struggled with the button but he didn’t make it. He ended up crying again, slumped against the wall. He felt so useless and ashamed and gross and just really horrible. It seemed he had no other choice than calling for Jack again.

The latter arrived a few seconds later. He was worried, it was obvious. He helped Alex unbutton his pants and was really, really careful with him. He pulled them off too and wanted to help Alex with his button-down because it was clear that Alex wouldn’t be able to get out of it on his own. But Alex whimpered in protest. He just really didn’t need the stress of Jack seeing his bruises added to all this mess.

“Alex, it’s okay. I saw and I know and you can trust me,” Jack said quietly.

“You know?”

“I know bruises from abuse when I see them,” Jack said quietly, lowering his head. And something in Alex just broke when he heard that, even though the assumption was wrong. Maybe it was the rest of his dignity, maybe his already damaged heart, but for sure his dams. The tears came out more rapidly than before and sobs wrecked his body. Jack tried his best to hold him and tell him it’d be okay, but Alex knew that Jack didn’t know what exactly was going on so it didn’t help that much but it did help a little.

After a while, Alex felt like he would be able to get up and shower. He was so exhausted that he didn’t protest anymore when Jack helped him out of his button down. Jack left after that because he didn’t want to intimidate Alex.

After the shower, Alex came out with a towel wrapped around his body. He felt a tiny bit less dirty. He looked absolutely shit, Jack decided. He had been looking around the flat; not snooping, just looking, but he hadn’t found any evidence for a boyfriend or girlfriend. He was pretty sure Alex wasn’t bisexual though; he had a calendar with male underwear models hung up in his toilet and no female version anywhere.

“Should I… like tuck you in?” Jack offered. Alex looked like he was about to fall apart, literally and metaphorically.

“Mhm…” Alex hummed. Jack took it as a yes and carefully pushed his back to get him to walk to his bedroom. They got there and Alex lay down. The towel slipped a little and Jack caught sight of some finger-shaped bruises on Alex’s hip but he didn’t say anything. He carefully got the blanket and covered Alex in it, making the older one into a little blanket burrito.

“I’m going to leave now,” he whispered when Alex was sufficiently covered in fluffiness.

“No… Please stay,” Alex whimpered. Jack was surprised but Alex was looking at him with wide, anxious eyes and he decided to stay. Alex looked like a three-year old who had just seen someone dying and it broke Jack’s heart to see him like this. He usually was confident, always up for a joke and something really bad must’ve happened to make him like this. Jack didn’t know what it was but he had some ideas.

The reason the whole abuse thing got to him this much was that he had gone through something that had left deep scars on his soul which would never fade. Not with all the time in the world. He couldn’t bear the thought that someone like Alex would be hiding behind a façade while going through something he had dealt with too and knew the horrors of.

He lay down in the bed and Alex’s hand found his. They lay there, hands clung together as if they would have to go through a hurricane with only the strength of their fingers keeping them from being torn apart. Jack drifted off to sleep when he had counted Alex’s 156th breath.

Notes

I am sorry about not not putting the rape warning into the general content warnings in the summary from the beginning on but I only had the idea when writing so it wasn't possible.

Please, leave me comments! :)

-Laura