Kiss and Sell

"Hey," Alex said as he noticed Danny waiting by Rian's car with him. The dark-haired boy was smoking a cigarette and all it did was remind Alex of Jack. He always hated the taste of cigarettes on someone's lips, but now he never craved it more in his life. He was almost tempted to kiss Danny just to remember how it tasted on Jack, "You decided to come after all?"

Danny shrugged as he rocked on the heels of his feet, "I don't see why not. Plus, I know this has been really rough on you, and I wanna be here for you." He admitted. Alex could see concern in Danny's eyes, but Alex didn't understand why all of a sudden it was so important to Danny how Alex felt. It could be the fact that Danny realized how much Alex was going through, how fucked up this entire situation was really making him. He was drinking to get away from more things than just Jack being in a coma and it wasn't healthy.

"Na, you.. you really don't have to do that for me, Danny. I only wanted you to come so it wasn't painfully awkward between me and Rian since he's kind of... mad at me." Alex sheepishly looked over at Rian who shrugged and nodded. He sighed quietly as he said, "I'm sorry!" To Rian who rolled his eyes and said, "No you're not."

"Why is he mad at you?" Danny asked as Alex opened the passenger side door.

Rian answered easily, "Made my girlfriend talk to a kid I told him to leave alone because he's fucking with him, oh, and he's a drunk." He added before glaring over at Alex who huffed and fell into his seat as he crossed his arms and pouted. Rian climbed in after pushing his seat down and letting Danny get into the back and said, "It's true. By the way, are you sober?"

Alex glanced over at him, "Of course I'm sober, Ri. I wouldn't go to see my Jacky completely shit faced. What kind of a boyfrie-" He stopped himself. He nearly called himself Jack's boyfriend. He looked down at his lap with wide eyes before whispering, "Oh my god."

"What was that 'Lex? What were you going to say?" Rian teased making Alex turn and punch him in the arm.

Alex averted his gaze to his lap again. He was going to call Jack his boyfriend. He doesn't even use that word, yet he was going to call himself Jack's boyfriend. He was straining to get the word from his vocabulary before he used it again, watching the roads as Rian drove and ignoring the teasing from the slightly younger curly haired boy beside him. He simply chuckled, somewhat weakly, and shrugged as he said, "Honestly, I'd never date Jack. We're just fuck buddies."

Rian glanced over at him, "Have you guys had sex?" He asked. Usually Rian didn't much care who Alex fucked, didn't even pay attention, and they only recently really became even slight friends, but Jack was his friend and was curious.

Alex hesitated, "Well, no, but-"

"Wait." Danny said quickly, interrupting the conversation Alex didn't even realize he was listening to. He waved his hand and shook his head to gain both boys attention while asking, "You guys never had sex? Why not?"

"Well, Jack's... um, I guess weird about it? I tried and everything but he kind of..." He cleared his throat and mumbled, "...Turned me down."

Danny's eyes widened, "Dude, I thought that's why he was so possessive over you! I thought you guys had sex, like, every day or something." He seemed slightly shocked before snickering, "I can't believe that guy turned you down."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rian asked -slightly offended with Danny's tone against his friend (who was in a coma by the fucking way).

Danny shrugged, "Just that Jack's... Jack... and Alex is, well," He sat up and motioned to the blond who blushed, "He's Alex. It's just kind of funny. I wouldn't think twice-"

"Yeah, but you're not Jack." Rian growled. He glared at Danny through the rear-view mirror and said, "Just because Jack isn't a man whore doesn't mean he's ugly or anything. He just respects himself."

"Sure." Danny said as he sat back.

"He does." Alex argued suddenly, "I like that he turned me down." He shrugged, "He's smart. I would ruin his life -not that I haven't already." He mumbled, looking out the window silently. He could feel his guilt sinking in again. He wanted a drink, just enough of one to forget just for a moment. He had been keeping all kinds of feelings at bay for the past month or so and it was suddenly crashing on him. Just talking about Jack as if he was still there when he fucking wasn't.

In Alex's mind, Jack was already dead and never waking from the coma. In fact, Alex was one of the only ones on board of cutting Jack's life support off. He hated admitting it, but when Joyce had asked for advice he didn't hesitate to admit that Jack deserved to die respectfully. His body was alive but not his mind, and even the doctors said there was a low chance of Jack waking up anytime soon.

Joyce was considering it, but Alex wasn't sure if she'd ever really go through with it. She didn't want to be selfish, but no mother should ever have to bury her child and Alex understood the hesitation with her decision. Not only was it hers though, but it was Bassam, Joe, and May's as well. The three others were on each other’s' sides of never killing their family member, believing it legal murder, but some part of Alex told him they'd agree in to whatever Joyce decided.

When they arrived Alex was the first to get out of the car and hastily run through the parking lot to the building. He had missed Jack, not being able to see him all week, and was a lot more excited to see him than either Danny or Rian even if he was just going to be laying there all night.

Without really waiting for the pair Alex arrived outside Jack’s room he paused, scared of what he might see inside. Danny and Rian appeared shortly after, cocking an eyebrow in question at Alex’s sudden hesitation to enter.

Alex took a deep breath as he let his hand rest on the door knob to Jack's room. The three were preparing themselves for the worst, well, maybe it was just Alex who was preparing himself for the worst. Rian and Danny thought it couldn't possibly get any worst from this. He was scared that whatever was behind this door was going to be something he wasn't going to be able to control. He was going to be completely powerless and unable to even tell Jack how he really felt. If he was awake right now Alex would tell him exactly how he felt. He had decided this as he took his deep breath and opened the door to the hospital room.

He braced himself for what he saw every time he entered that room, but this time it was completely different.

Jack was sitting up with his eyes open and trained to the television hung on the wall for his entertainment. It looked as if everyone had already known Jack was awake because he had food sat to the side for him that looked as if he might have ate a bit of it which made Alex wonder why he wasn't informed Jack had been awake. He was kind of just standing and staring at the boy who glanced over when he noticed the three just standing there with their mouths agape staring at him. He tilted his head slightly as his eye locked with Alex's while the boy slowly began moving towards him. The shock was fuzzing his mind over, making him feel almost in a daze as he padded across the room and straight to the once comatose boy -Rian right behind him.

Alex had so much to say, ask, and admit, but all the blond really did was stand up as tears began streaming down his face once the initial shock had slowly faded away. Jack stared up at him, unable to take his eyes off the beautiful blond in front of him until suddenly Alex was slapping him across the face while screaming, "Don't you ever fucking do that again!"

Before Alex could slap the poor boy again Rian was grabbing his arms and pinning them down against his sides, forcing Alex to kick and struggle as he screamed, "Do you know how fucking stupid you are?! If you ever do anything like this again you better fucking pray it kills you, Jack Barakat!"

Alex watched Jack's mouth open and close, like the words of comfort and defense he so desperately wanted to say just couldn't be spoken, and his eyes flicker with shame, as he suddenly let everything go and was full out sobbing his heart out while his knees buckled under him and he fell to the ground. Rian was surprised Alex was crying so much. He hadn't realized how much he really cared for the boy in the hospital gown, and it seemed neither had Danny because he looked just as surprised Alex was taking all this so hard suddenly.

Alex didn't know if he was crying in relief and happiness, or for all the times he should have been crying before, but he didn't care because it was all just coming out now and he couldn't stop himself and the tears. He put his face in his hands to hide the pure pain his face was showing now as he asked, "A-aren't you going t-to say a-anything, you fucking asshole?"

He looked up to see Jack staring down at him. He didn't seem to have any emotions, just a completely bleak face, yet he looked kind of sorry and sad, like he wanted to say something to make it all better but didn't know where to start. He stood up and Rian placed a hand on his shoulder, fully prepared to pull him back if he tried to slap Jack again because the kid just woke up from a goddamn coma, and cried, "Say something!"

Jack seemed to flinch, most likely scared Alex would slap him again, while Danny suddenly stepped up and said, "Alex," rather softly, but just loud enough to catch the boy's attention and cause him to glance over, "Just... Give him a minute. He just woke up from a coma."

"You don't know that." Alex snapped, "He could have been up hours ago, maybe even days, and I fucking deserve to hear him say it. After everything, I deserve this." His tears were wiped away in frustration as he shrugged Rian off of him while Danny walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him hesitantly, "I know, Alex, I know. Just give him a minute to catch up."

Alex shoved him away as he muttered, "Don't touch me." Before sitting down beside Jack and watching as he stayed completely silent before quietly choking out, "Do you even know how much shit you put everyone through? What the fuck were you thinking?!" He was angry. He wanted answers. He didn't understand how Jack could have hurt himself the way that he did. It didn't make sense to Alex, someone who was abused from a young age, how Jack could put his body through pain. If it was meant to help Alex still couldn't comprehend how. Alex wasn't so sure falling down the stairs wasn't Jack's intentions when he thought about it.

Jack stayed silent and all it really did was piss Alex off more making him exclaim, "Tell me!" Which had Jack cringing. The boy stayed silent and then Alex became slightly concerned. By now Jack would have said at least something to him, and Alex could tell he wasn't ignoring him out of spite. He looked genuinely unable to speak or even form words for him.

"Jack?" Alex asked quietly before shaking his head and reaching forward to take his hand in his, "Don't do this to me." Alex squeezed his fingers as he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head again, muttering out, "You fucking asshole. Don't you dare do this to me." He whimpered suddenly, letting his head bow as he hid behind his bangs while the tears slipped down his face again. He was so frustrated and scared and just all kinds of emotions were overwhelming him. He almost felt like he was going to have a panic attack from the sheer intensity of the situation.

"You can talk." He said in denial, "You can fucking talk, Jack... Just s-say my name... Tell me you're okay. Anything, Jack. Just say something. Please!" He whimpered. Jack stared at him silently, looking almost as upset as Alex was becoming all over again, "Baby, please. Please just talk to me." He begged. He heard the door open making him turn around while still holding firmly onto Jack's hand to see a tall man in a white coat enter the room. The man smiled sadly at the three while asking, "Are you guys family or friends?"

"Friends." Rian answered quietly, "We came to visit him. We didn't realize he was awake yet."

The doctor nodded while Alex turned back to his Jack. He squeezed Jack's hand a little harder, realizing slowly that Jack could have brain damage like how Joyce had told him. He looked up and stared into Jack's eyes, only slightly worried he might have slapped someone who probably wasn't even smart enough to understand anymore. He heard the doctor answer, "We called his parents an hour ago. They said they were on their way to see him."

He began making his way across the room and to Jack, checking his IV and then sitting down on the other side of Jack's bed across from Alex and greeting, "Hello, Jack. How are you feeling?"

Jack ignored him like how he knew he would, but continued to stare at Alex who was looking down at their linked hand. Alex's finger traced Jack's knuckles as he asked the doctor, "It's normal right? He's... He can talk, right? He'll start talking soon? He's just shocked?" He looked up at the doctor as he heard the man sigh and saw him send him a sad look. He regretted asking now.

The doctor shrugged as he grabbed a clipboard from the end of the hospital bed, flipping through it silently before saying, "He hasn't talked since he's woken up. Honestly, this is the first time he's actually even acted as if he could acknowledge anyone." He nodded towards Jack who was still staring at Alex, "We believe he's had a bit of damage to his brain... We'll have to take a MRI scan to be sure, but how he's been acting doesn't look good." Alex covered his face with his hands quickly, shaking his head into them as he let himself process the doctor's words, "I'm sorry."

Alex nodded slowly and let his hands drop to his lap. He heard the door open and close and then felt what he assumed was Rian’s hand on his back. He shook his head again before folding his arms on Jack's bed and burying his face in them as he whimpered, "I'm so sorry."

Notes

HELLO DID WE MAKE EVERYONES DAY OR FUCKING NOT

Wait

o

wait

jack has brain damage now so no we didn't make ur day? O my, really?

WELL FUCK EVERYONE

TAKE THIS CHAPTER AND BE HAPPY WE GAVE YOU AN ALIVE JACK

FUCKbOIs