Kiss and Sell

Alex was quiet for a long time -deep in thought while Jack gnawed on his bottom lip as he waited forbearingly for Alex’s answer. Alex didn't want to hurt Jack's feelings, but he wasn't going to sugar coat anything for the younger. He sighed and sent Jack a very apologetic look -knowing he was about to hurt his feelings but explaining nonetheless, "Jack, dating's not my thing, you know that. I'm not dating material, y'know? If we ever dated I'd just hurt you, baby." He moved to give Jack a peck on the lips, but the boy turned his head away making Alex exhale afflictively as he said, "But, I have to admit you are really different... I actually want to make you happy." He chuckled making Jack momentarily return his attention to the elder from where he had it turned towards his small window -gaze once fixed on the now soft pitter-patter of the rain -seconds before, "I've never wanted to please anyone but myself, but I actually want to with you. I mean, please you. And, I even want to learn things about you. I mean, I've never wanted to know things about anyone, but I suddenly just want to know your life story and understand you and all of this lame sappy shit that I'm not used to... And its all really overwhelming and I think I'm going to fuck up already because I really want you to like me, but I'm not good enough for you and-"

"Just shut up." Jack rolled his eyes playfully, "I get it -you like me." He sent the blond a small smile that Alex returned as he leant over and kissed the seemingly soothed boy on the lips before nodding slowly. Alex's little speech actually brought butterflies to Jack's stomach. He was actually flattered after hearing all of these confessions Alex seemingly had stored away some place in the back of his head and deep in his heart. Alex was just so sweet to him. Everything he said rang true in Jack's ears -small voices in the back of his mind telling him Alex truly would love him one day -maybe already did...That's what he wanted anyways, was for Alex to love him. It didn't scare or bother him when he thought about having a relationship with Alex -in fact -he really wanted one with the elder. He didn't think about getting hurt by him anymore because Alex had just pretty much admitted he didn't want to hurt him and would steer clear of doing so.

Jack was going to be determined about asking the elder out. He wasn’t going to chicken out. He was going to do it like how he’s been telling himself for the past six years.

"You said people change, though." Jack reminded, "You meant you'd change for me. So, maybe... we could date."

"Yes," Alex agreed before quickly saying, "But, I didn't mean, like, changing completely." Jack scoffed -offended that, after everything Alex had just said to him, he was already breaking promises. Jack was disappointed Alex couldn't even keep a simple vow of changing his ways for longer than four days -how was he supposed keep a relationship with the raven-haired boy for longer? He quickly jerked away from Alex's touch, making him groan in exasperation, "Jack, I'm sorry. I know I said I was going to change, but this is already so different for me. I'm not use to this and I don't know when I'll ever get use to it. I'm trying, really, I am. I mean, a week ago we didn't even talk more than twice a day!" Alex grabbed Jack’s arm to try to stop him from storming off like how he knew he would, but his attempt was futile. The only result was to have the younger yank his arm out of Alex's weak grasp roughly and snarl, "Don't make promises that you can't keep." Ouch. That kind of stung...

"Jack." Alex whined as he watched the lanky boy stalk across the room, "Please don't be like thi-"

But the door slammed shut before he could get his two cents in. Jack had already disappeared inside the isolated ensuite, earning a groan from Alex whilst slapping himself in the forehead countless times. It seemed like he could rip his own hair out right now being so frustrated with Jack’s actions. He was too busy beating himself up to even think about getting up to follow the other fuming teenager -biting his lip until it bled and digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. He was exhausted with this seemingly wild goose chase Jack had him on. Does he want his care and pathetic excuse of whatever kind of relationship they had going on, or not? So tired with the younger’s games, in fact, Alex almost didn’t get out of bed and almost told himself Jack would get over it himself without him, but he didn’t -knowing that’d royally fuck him from ever having something with Jack, like how he wanted to be with him. He always seemed to unintentionally mess everything up and now Jack was mad at him -again. He would have to fix it for it wouldn’t resolve itself.

Jack slid down the cool, tiled wall into the bathtub as he sighed and buried his face in his hands. He was so flustered. Alex was always so sweet to him, but then he'd just shoot the poor boy down for some reason. Jack couldn't figure out if it was because he was a loser or if Alex had lied to him about really liking him. Maybe Alex was just dealing with his own inner conflicts... It was all so confusing. Why couldn't they just be a normal teenage couple and ask each other out and do cute couple-y things together? That's all Jack truly wanted.

Jack heard a knock on the door making him grumble, "Go away."

"Let's just talk for a minute, Jack, please." The elder pleaded.

"About what?" Jack snapped -face rising to emphasize how upset he truly was with the crack of his downhearted voice raising suddenly, "I have nothing to say and you've already said everything I needed to hear!" He could hear Alex groan from the other side of the door as he jiggled the doorknob -trying to open it but failing because Jack locked it.

"Just let me in!" He cried desperately.

"Nope." Jack said defiantly popping the 'p'.

"Fine." Alex said as he slid down to sit with his back to the door, "I didn't mean to say that, Jack. I want to change for you, I really do. I like you, Jay, that's a big step for me. I'm not... I'm not a committed person, you know that, and all of this is really new to me..." He almost sounded hurt. Why should he be hurt?

"It's really new to me too, but I don't tell you things that I don't really mean, asshole." Jack hissed.

Alex groaned before saying, "I'm sure there's things you've done too, Jack."

Jack scoffed, "What does that mean?"

"It means you're a fucking asshole too. It takes two, Jack." Alex spat before quickly taking in a deep breath of air, trying to repose himself before continuing, "I'm sorry. That was rude. Look, I just want us to get a feel for this before we go rushing into things. How about we just, like, stay friends, but friends with benefits, but without all the benefits. I mean, it'll be like we're dating, but I can still see whoever I want, and you can still see who you want, and we can come home and it'll be completely different, okay?"

"That doesn't make sense." Jack said from the other side of the door. He had crawled out of the bathtub and back to the door to listen to whatever delusional plan Alex was making up now. Alex could hear him clearly instead of being muffled like before.

"Yes it does. We will be the same at school and during the day, but when we come home we will be different, like how we were before this whole argument started. We'll kiss and cuddle and do whatever you wanna do, okay?" Alex asked with a softer tone -hoping Jack would be okay with the kissing again because despite it being boring it could turn into something fun.

"Whatever I want to do?" Jack sniffled -as if he was crying but it was actually only to make Alex feel guiltier than he already was -and when Alex agreed he asked, "So, if I wanted to go on a date you'd take me?"

Alex rolled his eyes. When did Jack become such a girl? "Sure, babe. I'll take you on a million of them. We just wont really be dating. It'll be like a friendly date."

"What if I want it to be romantic? You told me we would do whatever I want, why can't it be exactly what I want?" Jack asked. Alex could just hear the pout in his voice. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he mumbled, "Jack, I can't do romantic things. I'm not romantic. I'm... I turn everything into sex. Romance is not my cup of tea. I can go on friendly dates but if we get all romantic I might run away and hurt you -you don't want to be hurt, now do you?"

"No." Jack mumbled, "But what if this just hurts me too?"

"Then we will stop and figure something else out or we can just give up completely because... maybe it'd be better for you, y'know? If it becomes too much we can call it all off."

"I don't want to call it off." Jack whimpered quietly.

Alex sighed, slowly becoming impatient with the other boy’s bullshit, "Let's just try this, okay?” He suggested, “I like kissing you and just being there for you when you need someone, ya know? Kind of like what you do to me... I really like you, Jack. I'll try to be good to you. "

"What if something happens? What if we get close and you don't want me anymore? What do I do then?"

"Jack, I'm telling you right now I'm never gonna stop wanting you. I really like you." Alex reassured. He rested his head on the door as Jack shuffled from inside the bathroom -scrambling to stand up before Jack opened the door and peered out.

"Yeah? And how do I know that?" Jack asked, curiosity evident in his tone.

"I'll prove it to you one day." Alex reassured with one of his goofy grins appearing on his face. He opened his arms for Jack who didn’t hesitate to walk right into them. Despite Jack being taller than Alex he felt safer when he was in the slighter boy’s arms. He felt like he was designed to be in them.

Notes

So, my (yes you're mine xD) new editor just helped me pimp out this chapter and expect many more great ones.

Rebecca.Troy is seriously amazing and I really would have been so lost without her on this I seriously love her and everything she did to make this better. Her ideas are fab just like her. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude with all of her help and this is just our first chapter together <3

Cant wait for many more!!

Again, thank you Rebecca, you are amazing