Kiss and Sell

The fact that Jack hadn't seen Alex in two days since he had dropped him off at his house was a little worrisome. He had tried to brush it off as Alex being stupid and drunk -probably just staying home for a hangover -or even as him just being sick, but every time he thought about the elder he felt a tightness in his gut -a feeling of sharp pain making him know something was wrong. He remembered how jittery the boy had been, how his eyes gave away his fear easily, and Jack knew he should have offered to hang out or just cruise together, but he had let his insecurities get the best of him -telling himself Alex would laugh at him for wanting stupid, almost couple-like things. He could feel his skin crawl with the thought of rejection from the elder, but it continued with the thought of any harm being placed on the blond. He had no idea what had happened to him and hadn't heard from Alex even by text in the pass two days which meant Jack's mind was buzzing with horrible, painful scenarios that ended just as horribly and painfully. Which meant by the time Jack got home he was distraught over his friend -shaking and yearning just to feel a burn against his skin. Any kind whether it be razor blades or his lighter -he just needed something to calm him down.

He ran upstairs -right past his mother who was offering him after school treats -and to his room where he slammed his door and ran to the bathroom. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes and he just let them fall -thinking of everything he ever did wrong in his life as he grabbed his razors shakily. His vision was blurred -causing his fingers to slip against the blade and deepen the cut he had already started. He hissed and threw the razor down -watching the blood pool from his leg as his tears fell and mixed with the pure red. He knew that when he bled it was much worst than any normal person. It'd continue for longer and he'd lose much more even from a scratch. The deeper the cut the worst. It was another reason he tried to keep himself from cutting too deep.

He could see the blood running over his thigh and dripping onto the floor -seeming over exaggerated for how little he had actually cut into himself -but was normal for him as he picked up his toilet paper and cleaned the wound slowly. The toilet paper was thin and fell apart easily over his blood which meant it stuck to his wounds a lot. He sighed as he pulled the already bloody paper off and grabbed a rag from his tub to run under cold water and dab against his leg.

"Jack?" Came his mother's voice from outside his door. He let out a small curse as he quickened his dabs while calling, "I'll be out in a minute!" He could hear his mother shuffle as if she had come closer to the door or shifted her weight as she said, "I think we should talk. You looked upset, is everything alright?"

"For fuck's sakes, Mom! I'm in the fucking bathroom! Can you give me five goddamn minutes! Jesus Christ!" He cried. He saw the shadow of his mother disappear -like she had stepped away either from shock or hurt he didn't really know nor care. He was always snappy towards everyone. His mother knew he never meant to be snappy towards her, but she also knew his temper was on a short fuse.

Still, she continue to scold through the door, "Jack Bassam, I changed your diapers I have no real problem with standing outside your door while you are using the bathroom and if you ever use that tone with me again I'll take the bathroom door off and come in whenever I'd like whether you're using the bathroom or not!" She cried, "I'm not one of your little friends you can scream and cuss at, I'm your mother and I'd like some respect!"

Jack rolled his eyes as he held the rag down over his wound to stop the bleeding -hissing just slightly at the pain of putting pressure on it, "Whatever! I'll fucking talk, just give me some fucking privacy, woman!"

"Jack!" She cried, "Don't call me woman! Why are you being so disrespectful?!"

"Maybe because you're trying to talk about feelings while I'm trying to take a fucking shit?!" He exclaimed -pulling a large bandaid from his medicine cabinet and placing over his wound before pulling up his pants and flushing the red toilet paper down the toilet. He washed his hands despite not really needed to and checked for any signs of blood as he placed his razors back in their place under the sink.

When he exited Joyce was standing outside with her arms crossed and a scowl across her face. Her eyebrows raised -waiting for Jack to apologize -but all the teen did was scoff and walk pass her.

"When did you become such a little asshole?" Joyce asked making Jack turned around with a shocked face. He just stared at her before furrowing his brow and saying, "Get out of my room."

"This is my house, I can do whatever I want and be wherever I want." Joyce countered.

Jack scoffed -raking a hand through his hair as he said, "I'm serious, Mom, get the fuck out of my room."

"You're grounded. These little outburst are unacceptable. I'm telling your father." Joyce said -holding her ground. She scowled up at Jack who began to shake -hands clinching into a fist.

"Fine! Ground me! I'm eighteen! I don't have to listen to you! Go ahead, tell Dad! I don't have to listen to him either!" Jack screamed. He could feel his blood boiling over. He was close to breaking and he couldn't have his mom watch him break.

"Yes, but you live in our house which means you actually do have to listen to us." Joyce retorted. She kept a stern look on her face and all Jack could do was pull at his hair and begin to pace. He felt tears pricking at his eyes again -his frustrations getting the best of him.

See, Jack was one of those people who when they get super mad all they do is cry. He got depressed instead of madder when he was as mad as he could be. He was trying to hold it in -his face turning red and his body shaking -and Joyce just knew he was going to break. She was doing it on purpose. And he didn't know how to stop it.

So, his tears fell. He watched the crash to the floor as they rolled down his cheeks. He wiped at them furiously -weakly crying, "W-why ca-can't you just le-leave me alone?" Which made Joyce for once loosen her stern glare at her son and walk over to him.

He tried to push her away without hurting her so it was a weak attempt. Joyce grabbed him and held his arms down as he struggled -hissing at her hug like a vampire would the sun -but eventually he found comfort in his mother's embrace -shushing him with little motherly words that told him he was alright and safe.

She pulled him to sit on his bed while still holding her son so he was kind of in her lap with his head on her shoulder -crying like a baby. He sobbed and spluttered out, "I-I'm so-sorry." As he clung to his mother's arms that wrapped around him -her fingers running through his hair in comfort.

"Baby, just tell me why you're so frustrated all the time. All I want to do is help you, but you keep pushing us away. What's wrong, honey? Please, tell me." Joyce said -her son's small, light frame shaking with every sob he emitted.

"Ev-everything!" Jack cried, "everything's wrong!" And Joyce knew it wasn't just everything so she waited quietly for him to continue but like always Jack needed a little push so she squeezed him closer like she had when he was young and asked, "What had you upset when you came home, let's just start with that."

"M-my fr-friend h-hasn't been to school in t-two days." Jack choked -gasping for air as it became harder to breath through the sobs that wracked his body.

"And why did that upset you so much?" Joyce asked -knowing that surely he couldn't be this upset over his friend being gone for simply two days. She looked over at him only to have Jack hide his face by burying it further into her shoulder.

He shook his head and shakily said, "I-I'm scared h-he g-got hu-urt." And Jack knew he shouldn't be telling his mother these things -shouldn't be letting Alex's secrets out because he hadn't been there in only two days, but he didn't know what else to do. His mother was forcing it out of him with her sweet, loving hugs.

"Why, do you think he might be hurt?" Joyce asked quietly -careful of words and actions because she didn't want to upset her son anymore then he already was.

"B-because, hi-his da-ad be-beats him, and he l-looked really w-worried when I dropped h-him off at his h-house... I think his d-dad did so-something to h-him, and I-I'm scared t-to lose him, M-Mom... I-I love h-him. L-like really l-love him..." He confessed -moving back to look at his mother who sighed.

Of course it was love.

"Honey, maybe we should call the cops if this is true and you're this worried." Joyce suggested carefully.

"N-no!" Jack cried as he pulled away and crawled up his bed to stick his face in his pillow, "You can't!" He exclaimed -it muffled by the pillow.

Joyce sighed and sat at the edge of his bed to rub his back, "What do you suggest we do then?"

"W-wait..." Jack said. Joyce didn't like that answer, and Jack knew she didn't so he looked up, "y-you can't tell anyone. H-he'll hate me. P-please, Mommy." He whimpered.

Joyce sighed -rubbing Jack's back in reassurance as she nodded slightly -a sad look on her face as if she already felt guilty for not doing something to help Jack's friend.

Jack knew how she felt. He was the guiltiest person in the world. He was guilty he didn't tell his mother that he needed help, he was guilty that he didn't help Alex, he was guilty he was upset when he should be doing anything to help his friend. He wasn't going to, though. He wasn't going to do shit -despite how upset he really was over everything. He was going to sit and be a baby and never do anything. He was a coward.

Notes

We still don't know what's happened with Alex aw noo.

Im not telling.

Here's Jack's depressing part ;-;. I used a lot of things my mom says to me when we argue in this lol. Joyce is my mom.

My mom calls me an asshole a lot ;-;