Impossibilites

I stayed in our bunk as Alex went to get me something to eat and some blood to drink. I pulled up my shirt and rubbed my flat stomach. I was worried about how fast the pregnancy was going to go for me. I wanted to enjoy the feeling of having a baby growing inside me before it was over. This was my only chance to have a baby, and I was going to make the most of it.

I wish now more than ever that my parents were still alive. I wanted to be able to ask my parents for advice about how to prepare to be a parent. I would have liked to have had my parents meet Alex too. I think they’d like him, but would have comforted me during the five years he was away from me.

“Kenzie,” Alex ducked his head in the bunk, pulling me out of my thoughts, “Breakfast is ready.”

I nodded and climbed out of our bunk. Alex led me to the kitchen table on the bus and I saw the blood bag sitting next to my plate of scrambled eggs. I sat down and smiled at Alex. I started to eat while Alex hooked up the blood bag for me to drink from. I took a small sip of the blood, forcing myself to swallow it down. It was so gross, but I knew I needed to drink it. If I didn’t, the baby could make my body reject my food.

“Ugh,” I groaned after my sip, “It’s so gross.”

“Yeah I know,” Alex said reassuringly, “But it might be the only way to help you keep food down.”

“I wish this baby didn’t need so much maintenance,” I sighed and continued my breakfast of eggs and blood.

“Me too,” Alex replied as he got himself a blood bag and used it to fill an empty water bottle before taking a sip.

“I thought you lived on animal blood,” I asked him.

“I’m switching to bags until after the baby is born,” he explained, “I need to be strong enough to handle giving you some of my blood as we go through the pregnancy.”

“Oh,” I nodded, “That makes sense now.”
---
“Has he been thoughtful of your wishes,” Tay asked. Alex was out with the guys doing their usual tour business. Tay came over with Cameron to keep me and Tessa company.

“Yeah,” I replied, “Alex has been taking care of me.”

“That’s good,” she nodded.

“I have a bad feeling about this entire thing,” Cameron commented, “The baby isn’t natural and we know nothing about it. It’s risky.”

“We know that,” Tessa replied, “But Alex has dealt with this before. He’s going to make sure everything goes right and Kenzie is safe until delivery.”

“Until delivery,” Cameron furrowed his brow, “What does the mean?”

“Alex said that delivery will kill me,” I told him, “But he’s going to get me through transition. I’ll be turned when it’s over.”

“I can’t believe you made that choice,” Tay sighed, “We could cast a spell to keep you from dying.”

“Tay,” Cameron grabbed her hand, “That’s unnatural magic. You know we’re not supposed to cast that kind of magic.”

“She’s my best friend,” she protested, “I don’t want her to become a monster.”

“I won’t become a monster,” I reassured her, “Alex won’t let that happen to me.”

“And I won’t either,” Tessa added, “All of us vampires are going to mentor her to be as human as possible.”

We all dropped the subject and remained quiet for a moment. I grabbed my blood bag from earlier and started to drink from it. I was actually enjoying it this time. I looked over at Tay and she gasped.

“What,” I asked.

“Kenzie,” she replied, “It’s your eyes.”

I ran into the bathroom and I saw something rippling in my skin under my eyes. I noticed my eyes were darker, that the whites of my eyes were black and my iris was dark red like fresh blood. I nearly screamed at what I saw. Tessa came into the bathroom and saw exactly what Tay saw.

“Breathe, Kenzie,” she coached, “You need to just calm down.”

“How am I supposed to calm down when I look like this,” I cried.

“Hey look at me,” she held my face and I watched her eyes do the same thing, “It happens to vampires. It’s a normal thing for us.”

“But I’m human,” I told her.

“I think it’s the baby’s influence on you,” explained, “I think the baby makes you have traits like a vampire while you’re human. It’s a way it makes you more able to protect it.”

“I’m scared,” I whimpered, “What if it makes me hurt someone.”

“We won’t let that happen,” she pulled me into a hug, “We’re going to make sure that you’re safe and nothing will happen to the baby.”

“I want this tour to be over,” I whispered as I hugged her, “I want to be home.”

“I know,” she murmured as she rubbed my back.
---
I stayed in our bunk the rest of the day as I waited for Alex to come back. I didn’t want anyone to see my eyes change. I wanted only Alex to ever see it. I wanted him to help me keep it in check. I didn’t want to go home to my uncle’s after the tour. I didn’t want him to see me like this.

“Kenzie,” Alex called as he ducked into the bunk area, “Kenzie are you back here?”

“Yes,” I replied quietly, “I’m here.”

“Hey,” he ducked in and saw me clutching my pillow as I tried to make my eyes turn back to their normal appearance, “Kenzie what’s wrong?”

“I thought it was obvious,” I looked up at him, letting him see my eyes in their full, unnatural glory.

“I’m sorry I never explained that part to you,” Alex sat down next to me, “It’s just baby giving you vampire traits to use for protection.”

“What’s next then,” I sobbed, my emotions getting the better of me, “I sprout fangs and kill someone?”

“No,” he pulled me into his chest, “That won’t ever happen. It’s only your eyes, sense of smell, and hearing that get altered. The baby wants you to be aware of what’s around you so you can protect it.”

“I don’t feel like that,” I told him.

“I know,” he replied, “You’ll get used to it. Just give it time, okay.”

“Can we move me out of my uncle’s house,” I asked him, “I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“I’ll contact my realtor and have him set us up with a house,” he replied.

Notes