Carry Me Home Tonight

I was packing last minute things for tour the night before we’d leave. I was eager to get on the road so I could talk with Tay about my dreams and nightmares. Alex was getting worried about me, and he didn’t have to say a word for me to know that. But I didn’t want to say anything to him right now. It was the last thing he needed on his mind.

“Kenzie,” I perked up from my suitcase as Alex called my name. I turned around and found him pulling at the hem of his shirt, which meant he was worried about something.

“Alex,” I looked at him, worried about what he was about to say.

“There’s something on your mind,” he started, “And it’s worrying you. It’s worrying me.”

“Alex please,” I sighed and rubbed my face, “It’s something you wouldn’t understand. It’s just something I need to talk to my best friend about.”

“I thought we were best friends,” he asked with a frown.

“We are,” I told him, “But I need to talk with Tay, my witchy best friend, about what’s on my mind. I need girl advice right now. Okay? I will tell you about what’s on my mind once I figure out what it is exactly, okay.”

Alex simply nodded, not pushing the issue further. He then came up to me and pulled me into his arms. I knew he was starting to feel his lust for me, which was as close to love as we were getting to at the moment.

“I can’t wait until we get to the hotel,” he murmured in my ear, “I’ll have you know I am very good in bed. You will not be able to hold yourself together while I’m having my way with you.”
I shivered at the desire in his voice. It was like dripping wet with sex. I was hanging on every word.

“Are you trying to seduce me,” I smirked and teased, “Mr. Gaskarth?”

“Maybe,” he teased back, “But you’ll just have to wait until we get to the hotel.”
---
The flight was the longest thing I had ever endured in my life. Alex was teasing me the entire flight. I was new to this whole sex thing, so I had no idea how to give him any foreplay. I was barely able to walk off the plane I was so weak in the knees. Jack was laughing at my attempts to walk the entire way to the hotel we’d be staying at until the guys got their tour bus.

“You are such a dick,” I groaned as Alex and I got into our room.

“Yeah I know,” Alex laughed, “But you love it.”

“I do,” I laughed with him, “Can we hold off on sex tonight?”

“Are you not ready,” he asked, “I thought your hand was back to normal now?”

“It is,” I told him, feeling bad for rejecting him tonight, “I just need to get advice first from Tay. I want to have a sleepover with her. I’m sorry I’m rejecting you tonight, Alex. It’s for good reason.”

“You’re a virgin,” Alex’s face changed into one of concern, “We can try something else to get me to feel love again, okay. We don’t have to have sex if you’re not ready to.”

“Alex,” I held his face in my hands, “I want you. I just need to talk to a girl to understand what I need to do, okay. I want to make sure you enjoy yourself, okay. And besides, me losing my v-card to get you back together emotionally makes it worth it. If this works, I’ll have you back to normal and we’ll be so fucking happy, we’ll drive the guys crazy the entire tour of us being couple of the year the entire time.”

“Okay,” Alex agreed and kissed my forehead.
---
“Okay slow down,” Tay had her hands up, trying to make sense of my dream I just spelled out to her.

“I had a dream. It was of me and Alex,” I broke it down slowly for her, “And it was of me being pregnant and then dying. I need to know if it’s possible that I had a dream of my future.”

“I will tell you,” Tay sighed, “But Alex can’t know. It will destroy him.”

“Okay,” I turned on the water in her bathroom and in the mini kitchen to drown out our voices.

“Alex can father a child with you,” Tay explained so only I could hear her, “But with you being human it is very risky. Your only options at the end are death or starting transition. The baby will be half vampire, most likely deemed a turned vampire by the purebloods and other supernaturals, but the baby will kill you. It will be a slow and painful death as the baby grows in your womb.”

“But it’s possible,” I asked.

“It is,” she replied, “Please don’t try to get pregnant with Alex. He will flip shit. And he will force you to abort it. He won’t choose between you and a baby, because it will always be you.”

“I’ll be careful,” I promised her, “But if I do get pregnant, please don’t let him make the choice. It’s in my body and I will make the choice. Tay, I’ve always wanted to be a mom. If I have a baby and I get turned, I’ll be able to have a family with Alex. I’ll get what I always wanted, a real family.”

“I hate being the one hiding things,” Tay sighed, “But I will take this to my grave. And hopefully Alex won’t be the one to send me there.”

I hugged Tay tightly. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going crazy from that dream. I know it’s crazy of me to want to risk my existence on a baby that can kill me, but I want a baby. Alex will just have to come to terms with what I want. Maybe when he feels love, he’ll be supportive of me and my decision.

Notes