Carry Me Home Tonight

It was weird being home again. I felt like I was seventeen again. My uncle was now the manager at a high end bistro in Baltimore, so he had quit his night job. As for Alex, he’s in a band now with the guys and Matt is their tour manager. Every day the guys meet up to practice for about three hours. They sound amazing and it turns out Alex and the guys hand been doing the band thing while he was teaching too.

As for me, I was just staying home nursing my hand back into functioning order. Alex and I decided to wait on having lustful sex until after I was in the clear. Alex didn’t want to ruin my hand and I agreed with him.

But since coming home, I’ve had the worst time sleeping. Every night I have some nightmare.
But I have strange dreams too. I don’t know how to explain them really. But I kept the happenings in my mind during my sleep away from Alex. He doesn’t need the added stress right now.
---
I was in a clearing in the woods. It was in the middle of the night, the moon was high in the sky, shining brightly to illuminate the area. I saw Alex sitting in the grass, dressed in light grey from head to toe, smiling at me.

I started to walk toward him, my steps were sort of heavy. I felt like there was a weight around my abdomen that was forcing me to waddle a little. Once I was at Alex’s side, he rose and rest his hand on my stomach. That’s when I felt a movement inside me. I looked down and saw I was maybe six or seven months pregnant.

“The baby is kicking,” I found myself saying to him.

“It won’t be long,” Alex smiled, love in his eyes.

“What will happen to me,” I asked.

“Once the baby is born,” he explained, “You will die.”

The scene changed and I found myself as the audience of the dream as the clearing became a bedroom. I saw Alex crying as he held my limp hand. He had blood all over his grey clothes from the clearing. A baby was crying in the distance, but he was too guilt-ridden to pay attention.

“I told you to get rid of it,” he sobbed, “I knew it would kill you.”

I watched as Alex grabbed a stake from the table by the bed. I gasped and covered my mouth.

“And I will join you,” he cried, “Because I can’t live through an eternity without you.”
---
I shot up in my bed, screaming. I was so scared by what I saw. I pressed my hands against my stomach, making sure it was just a dream. Thankfully, my uncle was at work already and Alex wasn’t over yet. I ran my hands over my sweaty face and then through my hair.

I got out of bed and took a long shower, trying to wash away what I had dreamed about. I knew I wanted a family, but would it be possible with Alex? Could vampires like him father children? Could I survive childbirth? Could I go into transition instead of dying? I had so many questions swimming thought my mind, and I couldn’t think straight.

I got out of the shower and dried up my body. Before I started on my hair, I stood in my mirror and tried to picture myself pregnant. I was fascinated by my dream, by the idea that I might be able to be a mom and have a family with Alex. But we’d have to make sure Carmina was going to leave us alone first. I didn’t want to try to have a child, if it was possible, with her around. I knew she’d find a reason to want Alex back and maybe force him to kill me and the baby to make him fall apart again.

I stopped fooling around and got dried up the rest of the way and got myself dressed. I ran a brush through my hair, and went downstairs to get myself something to eat. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I about screamed when I saw Alex, Tessa, and Matt sitting at the table like they were always there before.

“Damn it,” I clutched at my chest to steady my heartbeat, “You guys scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” Tessa came over and hugged me, “But someone kept us away from seeing you. We just had to come over.”

“Thanks Tessa,” I smiled as I hugged her back, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she stroked my hair softly, “I would have visited you, but I was très occupé because of some idiot turning his emotions off when he knew the plan all along.”

“Hey,” Alex held his hands up in defense, “My judgment was blinded when Carmina called me. I did what I thought I should have.”

“You’re lucky you have 50 years on me,” Tessa glared playfully at Alex, “Or I would have tortured you even harder.”

“Age has nothing on that,” he smirked, “I just didn’t teach all my tricks, Tess.”

“Enough you guys,” I giggled at them, “You two really are like brother and sister.”

“That’s what 250 years will do to friends,” Tessa smiled as she hugged Alex around his shoulders, “You become family.”

Alex made me my breakfast while Tessa and Matt bonded with me, telling how they spent their five years, leaving out the torture bits so they didn’t ruin my appetite. My mind wandered constantly towards my dream. I wanted to ask Tessa about it, but I was scared that she’d tell Alex about it and freak him out. I didn’t want to do that to him.

So I made my decision. I was going to talk to Tay during the tour about it. She might know what my dreams mean. Maybe she can come up with some magical way of protecting me from whatever fate the dream was showing me. I didn’t want to die. It would cause Alex to suffer again, maybe even drive himself to suicide. I loved him too much to do that to himself.

And the looks Alex was giving me while I was sorting through my thoughts were worrying me. He knew I was hiding something now, and he wasn’t going to stop until he figured out what I was thinking. Looks like I’ll need to start drink vervain tea again.

Notes