It's been three weeks since the funeral, and things have been a little hectic.
I'm still coping with my grief for Jenna, and on top of that, I've been studying like crazy for finals. I've been staying up every night, just trying to absorb as much information as I can, but it's hard to focus when you're also grieving your best friend’s death.
Alex has been trying really hard to help me cheer up and calm down, but I've just been on a roller coaster of emotions lately, and I'm really on edge.
Sometimes, when I'm studying and he comes in to check up on me, I end up having this huge fit with yelling and crying for no apparent reason. I just start thinking about how this is all hopeless, and how I miss Jenna, and then, how Alex probably wants to get rid of me because I'm driving the both of us insane.
This is all quite draining for the both of us, and the Jenna situation really doesn't help, at all.
Finals are in two days, and tonight, both Alex and I were studying as hard as we could.
We both sat up on the bed, studying from the books in our laps. We've been in this position for at least three hours, in complete silence. It was a pretty big deal for the both of us.
Then, I heard him yawn and stretch, before closing his book.
I gave him a puzzled look, and he scooted closer to me and rested his chin on my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” I snapped, pretty much still on edge.
“I'm tired. Let's sleep.” He simply answered, while yawning in the process.
“You're tired?? You do realize how important this is, right?” I rolled my eyes at him.
He pulled back and raised his thick eyebrows at me.
“Excuse me, Miss..do you know who you're talking to? Remember me? Your nerdy, over achiever boyfriend?” He smirked, causing me to roll my eyes again.
“Then you should know how important this is.”
“Yeah, I do know. But I also know, that we've literally been studying nonstop every single day without hardly getting any sleep. I thought I'd be the one to never wanna stop studying, but you beat me. What's up?” His smirk changed into a concerned look.
“What's up, is that I'm trying to fucking study.” I hissed, turning my attention back to my book.
I hissed once again, after he pulled the book out of my lap, and closed it shut.
“Alex, what the hell are you doing?!” My tired eyes shot at him like daggers.
“You need sleep. But first, you need to tell me what's wrong.”
“Alex, give me my damned book back!! I'm trying not to fail, here!” I started to wrestle with his arms, that were holding me out of reach of the book.
“Tay, you and I both know that you're not gonna fail.”
“No I don't.”
“Well, I do. You're gonna do fine, especially with all that studying you've done. But you're stressed out, and I need you to tell me why.”
I gave up fighting him, and simply just blinked at his stern expression.
He always seems to know what's wrong with me..damn that boy.
“Why wouldn't I be stressed, Alex?? My best friend is dead, I still feel bad about it, and I-I have to pass these exams, but I can't…f-fucking..focus!”
I didn't even realize I was crying, until I felt him pull me onto his lap, and rock me in his arms.
“Shh..everything's gonna be okay, alright? There's no point in studying so hard, if you're going to be too tired and stressed to focus on what you're doing..” He advised, and kissed the top of my head.
“That makes sense..” I sniffled, getting cozy in his arms.
“Mhm..and try not to think about Jenna too much, to the point of breaking down. You still have your life to live, even if she's no longer here. And I'm sure she wouldn't want you stressing out like this..”
Then why did she do it.
I sighed, and nodded.
“I don't know, Alex. I guess I just…I don't know. I failed at being a good friend, and I don't wanna fail at this, too.” My eyes filled up again.
I feel like a complete failure.
And as if reading my thoughts like he always does, he cupped a finger under my chin, and lifted my head up.
“You aren't a failure, or anything like that, Tay! You're really strong, and smart, and I know you. I know that you have never ever been a bad friend, to anybody! Don't beat yourself up over this, beautiful. We can't change what happened, but you'll get through this, and I'll be here with you every step of the way.”
He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, before hugging me even tighter into his chest.
His words were sinking in, and they were actually really helping.
“I love you, Alex.” I sighed, snuggling into his warmth.
“I love you, too.” He smiled at me.
“I just wish there was something I could do, ya know? To honor her name, somehow..” I sighed, in thought.
“Well…maybe you could. You know, at graduation. You could do like..a song, or something. Call up her parents to come watch, maybe? I don't know.” Alex shrugged.
I pulled back to face him.
“ALEX, YOU ARE A GENIUS!” I grinned at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Oh, really?” He smirked.
“Yes!! It's a perfect idea!” I praised him once again, leaning in and placing a bunch of kisses all over his face, with caused him to cutely laugh and blush.
“But wait…how are you gonna get them to let you perform at graduation?” Alex asked, after I finished kissing him.
I thought for a moment, before I figured out exactly what I was gonna do.
I leaned up and kissed him on the lips.
“Don't worry, I've got the perfect plan.”

---

Going back to school was the hardest thing ever. Everywhere I went, people were staring and giving me these sympathetic looks, that I just couldn't stand. Some people even came up to me and gave me pats on the shoulder, or told me things like, “Are you okay?” And, “I'm sorry about your friend.”
It was miserable.
Alex walked me down the halls everywhere I went, holding on tight to my hand to comfort me.
We walked to Algebra, and I quickly sat down in my seat; avoiding everyone's obvious stares.
I huffed, and kept my attention on my fidgeting hands in my lap.
“Hey, just ignore them.” Alex whispered over to me.
I sighed, and looked over at the board.
“My first day back is going sooo great right now.” I rolled my eyes, with sarcasm highly evident in my voice.
“Hey, it'll die down, soon. Everyone's just a little concerned, is all.” Alex reassured me.
I simply sighed and nodded, as the bell rang.
After a few minutes, the teacher stopped teaching, and left the room to speak to another teacher.
“Hey.” I heard Alex say, then I turned to look at him, to see a huge grin plastered on his face.
“What?” I looked at him, puzzled.
“This is our last day of Algebra.” He responded, still grinning.
“Well thank God, for that!” I laughed a bit.
“This is the place where we first met. After today, there's no more passing notes and working on problems together.” He half smiled, causing me to frown a little bit.
“Well, when you put it that way…that actually makes me kinda sad, babe!”
“Hey..don't be. Because after this, we'll graduate, and then we'll soon be traveling the world together. Just you and me. And Jack..and Rian..and Zack..but that's besides the point! The point is, you'll always have me, forever. Forever and always, baby.” He took my hand in his, and kissed the back of it; leaving me a blushing, giggling mess.
“I guess we'll just have to savor this moment the best we can, huh? Before we go running off together!” I laughed.
“Hm..we sure do.” He took my chin, then leaned in and connected his lips with mine.

After math, we got up and went off to the office. I wanted to make our Jenna tribute plan happen at graduation, and I knew just who to ask.
“Attendance? Why are we here?” Alex asked, completely clueless as we walked into the office.
I simply just winked at him, before walking up to the familiar lady, who surprisingly, wasn't crying.
I cleared my throat, and she looked up in surprise, before dropping her fork back onto her plate of salad.
“Oh..Tay Jardine, am I right?” She blinked up at me with a small smile on her face. It actually seemed genuine..I had never seen her truly smile, before.
“Right you are, Mrs. Taverns.” I grinned at her.
“Nope! That's Miss, to you! I took your advice from last time we spoke, if you can remember. I'm a lot stronger now, and taking a break from this whole relationship thing, has really helped me a lot! Wait…sorry, I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this..uh, sorry! How can I help you?” She awkwardly shook her head, then blinked up at me, waiting for an answer.
I laughed a bit, then gestured towards Alex, for him to get over here; as he was awkwardly standing back by the door.
He slowly walked over, and greeted Ms. Taverns with a “Hello.”
“Guess what? I took your advice as well!” I grinned, taking Alex’s hand in mine.
Ms. Taverns smiled up at us in awe.
“I thought I heard something about that, buzzing around the school! I'm really happy for you!” She grinned, causing us to grin back at her.
“So…anyways..I hope you don't mind if we ask of you a favor?” I asked slowly, not wanting to come off as rude.
“Oh, sure! Anything that won't get me fired!” She joked.
Jenna's death was a little hard for me to talk about, so Alex told her instead, about how I lost my best friend a few days ago, and how we want to perform something for her for graduation.
“Oh, sweetheart!!” She frowned, and stood up to give me a quick hug, before sitting back down.
“I'll do the best that I can, to convince my bosses to let there be another performance in the ceremony, other than the orchestra. I really will try my hardest, okay?” She gave me a sad smile, but held eye contact to assure me that she wasn't lying.
I smiled at her, and thanked her very much, before turning around to leave.
“And hey!” Ms. Taverns called us back.
We both turned around, and I expected her to tell me something like that she feels bad for me, or that she was sorry about what happened. But luckily, she didn't.
“I hope this means I get automatic entry to your wedding!” She joked.
We laughed at that.
“Yeah, totally! You get VIP!” Alex chuckled, causing her laugh as well, as we left the office and headed to lunch.
“Well..that went well.” Alex grinned at me, as we approached the door to the cafeteria.
“Yeah, it did! I'm really happy.” I grinned back at him.
“Well, I'm happy that you're happy.” He bent down to kiss me on the nose as we approached the lunch table, where all of our friends stopped eating and turned their attention to me.
I stopped in my tracks, and stared back at them.
Hayley was the first to get up, and ran over to me.
“Oh my gosh, I've missed you SOOO MUCH! How are you, Girlie?” Hayley gave me a concerned look.
“I'm okay.” I gave my worried friend a small, reassuring smile.
She immediately flung her arms around me, catching me by surprise.
“Whoa! Hey!” I giggled.
“Hey, I want in on this!!” Jack smirked, and also ran over, wrapping his long arms around the best of us.
Zack, Rian, and Alex soon joined in, joining us all into a suffocating group hug.
We all laughed, enjoying the un-breakable bond we all had together, as true friends. I remember on my first day here, they were all nothing but friendly to me. There are so many memories of this year, that'll be sure to last forever, even after we leave this place. When the guys do all of their gigs and make it big and go on tour, Hayley and I will be right there with them.
Who knows? Maybe our talent will get us somewhere, as well! I don't know all that the future will bring, but I'm just happy that I get to spend it with all of these people.
My friends.
I love them all.

Notes

Hey hey, friends!!
This is just a boring filler..I was gonna add the graduation scene, but then I thought that it would be too many scenes and all over the place, so the graduation will be in the next chapter :)
The next chapter will also be as adorable as I can make it. Hehe <3

Today was kind of awful, I had a bit of an anxiety issue in school, but everything's cool now, I guess. Just doing my best to stay calm in those situations.

AND WOOP WOOP FOR THANKSGIVING BREAK.
Good chance this story will be over by the end of the week...I cry.

I love love LOVE you guys, and I would love you even more if you commented..please? Pretty please? <333

Thanks! :)

Title cred: If You Wanted A Song Written About You, All You Had To Do Was Ask- Mayday Parade