Kiss Me Again

The next few days went by pretty much the same.
Alex was being annoyingly cute (and I mean annoying), and Hayley still complained to me all the time about how Jack won't make a move to finally make their relationship official.
It was the same unbearable thing everyday this week, and I cannot stand it.
Hayley's even come up with some new master plan, where she's decided to flirt with ZACK now, to try to get Jack jealous. It looks like its working a little, but because she's being so fucking obvious about it, it seems to just be annoying him to death now.
Now, I was holding Alex's hand, walking to my locker to unpack my bag and get my things for the day. He was gripping my right hand, and didn't let go when I got to my locker.
"Um..you can let go now, babe." I gaze him a puzzled look.
"But I don't wanna let go. Can't you make do with your left hand?" He smirked.
"Uh, nope! Sorry, I can't." I rolled my eyes.
"Okay, fine." Alex finally sensed my annoyance, and let go.
"Thank you."
I unpacked my stuff at my locker, then locked it shut, only to have my hand be reunited with Alex's.
Usually, I'd love this and wouldn't ever want to let go, but I was tired. He'd been smothering me all week, and on top of all that, I've got pretty bad cramps, too.
I pulled my hand out of his grip and sighed.
"What is it?" Alex looked at me all concerned and cutely innocent, but I just couldn't help but snap at him.
"Alex, I-I need to get some water!"
"Okay..well I'll just come with you-"
"No!! Don't come with me anywhere, just..DON'T!" I turned around, and quickly walked down the hall and out through a door leading to a courtyard.
I honestly just needed a breather, but I didn't mean to just yell at him and leave him like that. I'll eventually have to explain myself..
I sighed, and leaned against the brick wall for a moment, when I heard the door open, and footsteps racing out of it.
I turned to see Jack, looking distressed and incredibly tired. He noticed me, and walked over.
"So who are you hiding from?" I asked, as he leaned against the wall next to me.
"Hayley, she won't get off my case." He responded, rolling his eyes.
"What about you?"
"Alex."
"Ah."
Then we just stood there for a moment, looking out into the parking lot.
Then, Jack spoke up.
"I think this is the part where we take out a cigarette and start talking about our problems."
I laughed at that.
"We can do that..minus the cigarette part."
"Okay well, I guess I'll start. Hayley is driving me nuts, man!! One day she's all over me and won't leave me the hell alone, but then, she switches to fucking Zack, and rubs in my fucking face! So damn confusing. Irritating, too."
"Well, I'll have you know that there's a reason behind her madness." I smirked.
"Well there fucking better be! What is she going on about?"
"She's 'going on about', how you still haven't asked her out yet, doofus."
"What? Really, that's what this is about?? I mean..I already kinda think of her as my girlfriend..and I know we aren't official, but..I didn't know if it was the right time, and.."
"Aw, Jack! You're blushing!" I giggled at his flushed cheeks.
"Shut up. So...what's the issue with Alex?"
I sighed.
"Let's just say..he loves me way past my level of comfort."
I heard Jack snort a laugh beside me, and I turned to face him, giving him a puzzled look.
"What?"
"It's cause you don't love him back, ya ditz."
"I don't love him back?? He said that?"
Jack nodded.
"Yup, so he's been going insane trying to make it happen, when he's obviously only making it worse. I tried telling him he's being a dumbass, but hey, that's Alex, am I right?" He chuckled.
Well..now I feel like shit.
I sighed.
"I think I know what we need to do.."
"You mean apologize?"
"Mhmm. And talk this out with them. I feel really bad, ya know?"
"Yeah.." Jack sighed.
"Our best friends are so cute."
"And insane."
"Yes insane, but also cute."
Jack nodded in agreement, and we stood there for a while until the bell rang, telling us we needed to go to homeroom.

Alex gave me my distance all morning, but I took the initiative to apologetically hold his hand after math, and walk with him to the cafeteria.
When we sat down at the table, it was nothing but pure chaos. Zack was uncomfortably trying to eat his sandwich, while Hayley was harassing him to death.
"Oh Zack, you're so...muscular. Wooow, check out those things! Yum!" She purred, as she felt on his bicep.
"See? Maybe we should be more like that!" Alex smirked at me, earning a scoff from me.
"What the fuck? Are you kidding me?"
"Uhh..I think I'm just gonna go.." Rian hesitated, as he got up and practically sprinted away from our mad house.
That's right..save yourself, Rian..
"Uh, Hayley? Could you maybe..scoot-"
"Oooh, I just LOVE your voice, Zack! SO sexy.." Hayley turned to connect her eyes with an annoyed-looking Jack, as she planted a kiss on Zack's cheek.
"So..SO sexy.."
"Okay..STOP!!" Jack angrily slammed his hand on the table, making us all shut up and turn our attention to him.
"Hayley, stop. Stop this shit you keep doing with Zack, I don't like it!"
Hayley blinked a few times, before smirking.
"And why should I, Jack? Why do you even care?"
"Oh, don't throw that bullshit at me, you know why!"
"No, actually Jack, I don't!"
"BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU, HAYLEY!"
He stood up and looked down at her.
"H-how do you feel?" Her voice was almost a whisper.
"How do I feel? I feel like..like the luckiest and happiest dude on the planet. You make me happy, Hayley. And yeah, I've got these commitment issues because I'm a huge asshole, but I've never really known what it was like to...wanna be with someone so badly. And you're that one. Sooo, whaddaya say? Will you...b-be my girlfriend?"
Well goddammit, Hayley is a boy genius.
Hayley squealed, jumping out of her seat to run around the table, into Jack's arms.
"YES!!! YES YES YES, JACK!!!"
They both grinned like idiots, before connecting their lips together, earning a chorus of "awes" from the surrounding tables.
This made me realize something.
I really needed to fix this mess with Alex.
We needed to talk this out.
Knowing what needed to be done, I spent the remainder of the day thinking over how our conversation would go.
Hopefully it would go well.

When we got home, Alex headed back out without me, saying he had a "surprise in store."
As if I've ever liked surprises.
I changed into some sweats and one of Alex's tees, and watched tv on the couch in the living room.
I laughed at the rerun of Full House I was watching, till I heard the front door open, followed by the smell of sweet pastries.
I got up to see Alex place a large box of heart shaped, icing-covered donuts on the table.
"Um..Alex?? What is all this?" I frowned at the donuts.
"What? You don't like donuts?"
"Oh I like donuts, but...what's the occasion?"
"No occasion, I just want you to know, that I donut love anybody but you!" He chuckled.
Oh God.
"Alex? Can we talk?"
"Uh..you don't get the jo-"
"I get the joke, Alex." I snapped, cutting him off.
"Well..what's the matter?"
"What's the matter, is that you're acting really different lately, and I don't like it."
"Different? Different how?" He frowned.
I rolled my eyes.
"All of THIS, Alex! You never give me any space, all you want is to act all sweet and cuddly to me, like all the time!!"
"And that's a bad thing...?"
"YES!! Well..no. Not exactly, it's just.."
"Wow. You know what? I know what your issue is. You don't like different. I told you I loved you, and you hate that! You just can't accept the fact that somebody might actually love you, Tay..."
I sighed in defeat.
"Yes, Alex! You're right! I can't! Because I know that I can't say it back to you just yet! And I know that I can't give all of this to you! You've been acting so fucking sweet and loving, and I know that I can't be that for you, and it kills me, Alex!"
"And why can't you be?"
"Because I'm hopeless! I just don't understand why you love me. And I know that you've only been acting this way so you can try to help me figure that out. But I'll never get it, Alex! I'll never understand how you think I'm beautiful, or how you can hold my hand in the hall and not be ashamed, or how you can kiss me without throwing up! I'm a nobody, Alex. You're better off with someone like Lisa.."
Alex cupped my face with his hands, as I felt tears prick at my eyes.
"Hey! Don't you dare ever say that! I don't love Lisa, I love you! And why I love you? I love you because you are beautiful, Tay. In every way fucking possible! And I love holding your hand, and your lips are the only lips that feel right to kiss! Everything about being with you just feels..right. And that's how I know I love you. That's how I know."
"Alex..you're perfect. You're everything I could ever want and more..and I feel so lucky to have you. But..you have to remember that a part of me is still broken. A part of me just won't let go of the hurt, and that's why I can't tell you what you want to hear. It's just three fucking words and I can't even say them! I'm a fucking bitch!"
The tears started rolling, and Alex pulled me into his arms.
"Shhh..I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry if I pressured you in any way..I'm sorry. I can wait for those words. When you're ready, okay?"
I nodded into his chest, slowly calming down with his touch.
When I stopped crying, I pulled back a little, and smiled up at him.
"Thank you, Alex. Now lets eat these donuts, shall we?" I giggled.
"Ha, we shall! One thing first.." He leaned down and gave me a sweet, loving kiss.

Words can't even describe how he makes me feel.
I knew in that moment, that Alex Gaskarth was the only boy for me.
He's perfect.

Notes

Okay hi! I wanted to post earlier, but my phone was having these issues and I was unable to write, I'm sorry :( But, I did manage to write this today. It's not a very good chapter, as you can see, I did a pretty crappy job on it, but yeah.

You guys seriously make me so so soooo happy, ily please comment nice things. Or bad things. Or your dreams. I'll tell you about my dream.
Last night, I had a dream that I was getting a baby brother, and I named him after Alex, and then a bunch of church ladies came to my house and used my toilet.
That is all. xD

Thanks! :)