Kiss Me Again

I woke up to the sound of my usual musical alarm playing from my phone, which was sitting on my bedside table as it always was.
Without opening my eyes, I sleepily rolled over and reached to grab it, but there was a body in the way.
Startled, I shot my eyes open and looked down at the sleeping boy underneath me.
Then everything came back to me.
Oli, Jenna, my relapse, and then Alex.
Alex, who saved me from the panic I was in.
Who comforted me for ages until I was okay.
Alex, who officially became my boyfriend last night.
Boyfriend.
I didn't think I'd call anyone that for a long time. I didn't think I'd be prepared for another relationship after all I'd been through. But Alex saw me at my absolute worst last night, and he didn't judge me. He was nothing but comforting and sweet. And I loved every bit of it. I trusted him, and I needed him.
And now I have him.
Now he's here, sound asleep in my bed, completely un-phased by the loud Mayday Parade tune blasting in his ear. I knew we had school this morning and he didn't have his clothes and needed to go get them and get ready and all, but I just wanted him to stay longer. I wanted to just lay there and observe him while he slept, (as creepy as that sounds.)
I quickly reached over him and turned the alarm off, then laid back down beside him.
I watched him sleep peacefully, and completely admired him in his entirety. The way his brown lashes kissed the rim of his cheekbones, the way his chestnut bangs swept over his forehead, but was sticking up in random places.
The way his chest rose slowly up and down as he breathed- the way his small but plump pink lips parted slightly, looking so kissable. I just couldn't resist.
I leaned closer and gave him a little two second kiss, then broke away and fiddled with the sleeve of his band shirt. But then I felt him move so he was facing me on his side, and wrapped his arm around me and opened his eyes.
"Whoa, am I dreaming?" He chuckled tiredly, with his sexy sleep voice.
"Why, did you dream about me?" I joked.
"Nah, cause if I did, I'd be running to the bathroom right about now.."
I gasped, and slapped his chest.
"Alex!"
He burst into laughter.
"Hey, I'm kidding! But..actually, I think I did have a pretty nice dream about you.." He said more seriously, running his fingers through the ends of my probably-messy hair.
"Oh really? What happened in this dream?" I bit my lip and gazed into his eyes.
"You were this..princess. And I rescued you from this castle.."
"Why'd you need to rescue me?"
"Cause. There were monsters trying to hide you from me."
"And you slayed them all?"
"Nope, it was actually up to you to get rid of them, I just helped get you outta there."
"That's weird.." I giggled.
"Yeah well..it wasn't your average fairytale. Anyways, then we rode off on a horse and went to our mansion and cuddled for the rest of the night."
"Yeah? And then what happened?"
"Then, I woke up and realized it wasn't a dream. It was all real." He leaned closer and kissed me on the nose.
"There's an issue with that." I giggled.
"And what's that?"
"We don't have a horse, or a mansion."
"Oh, and I forgot to mention that the princess doesn't have a very big imagination." He laughed as I playfully shoved his shoulder, and laughed along with him.
"Oh shit, Tay. We have school today. What time is it?" He sat up, looking around for a clock.
"We should be leaving for school right now." I shrugged nonchalantly, only sitting up a little.
"Shit!!" He quickly scrambled to his feet.
"Well what are you waiting for? Get up and get ready!"
"I don't wanna. Let's just skip today. It's Friday, let's start our weekend a little early."
"Tay.." He gave me an uneasy look.
"We don't need to miss class. Plus, we sign up for our partners for that music thingy today!"
I shrugged. "Then just be my partner, and we can get a head start. It's only a day we're missing. You're smart, you'll catch up in your classes."
He let out a sigh and gave me an unsure look.
"I don't know, Tay..."
I perched on my knees on my bed and clasped my hands together in a begging notion.
"Pleeeaaasse! Just this once! We'll be late anyway, just please!" I begged, jutting my bottom lip out in attempt to be cute. And it worked.
He sighed in defeat, and sat back down beside me on the bed.
"Well, I guess just this once..I mean, it's been a rough week.."
I squealed and hugged his shoulders tight. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled his head back to look at me.
"And the weeks been especially hard without you.."
He leaned in to give me a sweet, soft kiss.
I blushed and giggled, feeling the familiar butterflies I got when he kissed me.
"It's been a long month, actually." I stated, smiling as he leaned in to kiss me once more.
I just wanted to stay in that moment forever. Nothing felt more right than being in his embrace, with his lips on mine.

We were both still kind of tired, so for the next hour we just laid back down on the bed and enjoyed each other's company.
We joked around and had little staring contests, which resulted in a lot of giggling and teasing.
After that, we just laughed about little things; like funny things the guys said or did that I missed out on.
Then, we just linked our fingers together and exchanged lazy kisses. It was moments like these that I told myself I want to live for. I want to live in Alex's arms forever and ever, just joking around and kissing and feeling all bubbly and happy all the time.
We broke off the kiss we were sharing at the moment, and just looked into each other's eyes and smiled, with our foreheads pressed together.
"Are you enjoying this, because I am." He grinned.
I giggled and bit my lip.
"You are absolutely amazing, Alex Gaskarth."
"I wouldn't say amazing, but I'm flattered to have such a perfect girl like you give me such a compliment." He winked, causing me to stick my tongue out at him.
"I'm not perfect, Alex."
"Yes, you're my princess, therefore you are perfect."
"Well this isn't your average fairytale." I mocked him, smirking and climbing out of the bed.
I grabbed my songbook off of my dresser, then sat back down on the edge of the bed where he was now sitting up, giving me a confused look.
"Are we getting a head start on that music project or what?" I smirked, opening it up to the page where I had started writing the lyrics.
He pulled me into his lap and read the lyrics from over my shoulder.
"Oh geez, who are these lovey dovey lyrics about?" He teased after me finished reading the page.
"It's about my knight in shining armor." I grinned as he turned his head a little and kissed my neck.
"Oh really?" He mumbled against my skin.
"Well how were you so sure I was gonna be your partner?" He pulled away to smirk at me.
"I wasn't. I was actually positive you were gonna choose one of your many fangirls in music class."
He chuckled a bit and gazed into my eyes.
"Nah, I was gonna come find you today and ask you."
"Well what if I said no?"
"Uh..I still would've signed us up, anyway.."
"Alex!" I gasped as he kissed my cheek.
"What? Judging by these lyrics of yours, you would've liked it anyway."
I instantly felt the heat rise to my cheeks, and I broke eye contact with him.
He just chuckled again, and cupped my chin to make me look back up, before he leaned down and connected his lips with mine.
Our lips molded softly and slowly together, making the butterflies in my stomach go insane. He turned me around so I was facing him for easier access. I reached up and linked my own fingers together behind his neck and pulled him closer to me.
He smiled into the kiss, causing me to smile too as we broke apart. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and smiled at me. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, I heard a different voice yell from downstairs.
"TAY, WHAT THE HELL!?!"
Barbara.
"Shit! How did I forget she was here?!" I quickly untangled myself from Alex, and got up, grabbing my hoodie and tugging it on.
"Who's here?" Alex asked, getting up and slipping on his discarded Converse by the bed.
"My step-mom." I rolled my eyes in disgust.
"Oh!"
I turned to see Alex, with his eyes wide, and his cheeks crimson.
"I- uh.." He stuttered.
I rolled my eyes and pulled him out of the room, grabbing my song book on the way.
There was no way we were staying here in the same house as her!!
I walked downstairs to see Barbara sitting at her usual place at the table with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand as she glared at me.
"Have you lost your fucking shit?" She slurred.
"Other than those delicious chocolates you left me, you didn't have to leave me such a fucking mess this morning, with your fucking flower petals and shit, how do you think that makes me look to men-"
She paused as she saw Alex walk out from behind me.
She got up out of her seat and stood in front of him.
"Why, hello there.." She batted her eyes at him.
Alex looked as nervous as can be, and held out his hand for her to shake.
"H-hello, Mrs. Jardine.."
"Oh please.." She walked her fingers up his arm and leaned in to whisper seductively in his ear.
"Call me Barbara." She leaned back and winked at him, causing me to scoff.
She glared at me.
"Oh, what is it, Tay?" She spat.
"Can you try NOT to flirt with every guy you see?" I rolled my eyes at her.
"Oh, what's got you all-" She paused, then looked from him to me, then back to him.
"Wait, you mean to tell me that you guys fucked?!"
Alex's cheeks flushed a bright red as he raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, no! No no no!" He quickly denied, shaking his head furiously.
Barbara smirked at that.
"Oh of course not, silly me! Only Tay could spend the night and all fucking morning with a guy and still not get him to fuck her."
She let out an obnoxious laugh, then sat back down in her chair, earning a dirty look from both Alex, and me.
That is NOT okay. Not okay AT ALL.
"Why are you trying to fucking embarrass me?!?" I yelled, completely annoyed with her.
She just rolled her eyes and took a swig of her drink.
"Why don't you go fuck yourself, you obviously can't get anyone else to!" She snickered.
"Ma'am, don't you think that's a little inappropriate?" Alex furrowed his brow at her.
"Oh, inappropriate? I can fucking talk inappropriate all I want, pretty boy. This is MY fucking house, after all. Tell me, since you wanna talk about being inappropriate, what in the hell were you doing in her room last night? Huh? Isn't that a little..un-posh like of you?"
"Shut the hell up, Barbara. He's not 'posh'. Stop fucking talking to him, you don't fucking know him and you never will!"
"Oh, just like you'll never fuck him? I don't need to know anything about him besides how big his di-"
"DON'T FUCKING SAY IT, BARBARA!" I yelled getting closer to where she was sitting. I was so fucking fed up with her.
This ends now.
"Please tell me, Barbara..why are you such a fucking whore!!"
She pretended like she was thinking.
"Well...let's see...I'm a widow, I'm horny, I'm single, and not to mention I'm a single mo-"
"NO!!!" I screamed in her face, angry tears beginning to collect in my eyes.
"Don't you fucking DARE call yourself my mother, EVER!!"
She just shrugged and went to take another swig out of her beer, when I knocked the bottle out of her hand and didn't move my angry eyes from hers as it crashed to the floor, sending shards of glass and beer flying all over the floor on the other side of me.
Alex was at my side now, grabbing my arm and trying to calm me down, but I kept my eyes fixed on Barbara.
"You...fucking...BITCH!" She spat in my face.
"You know what? Everyday when your fat ass walks down those steps, I fucking ask the fucking heavens why your father had to curse me with you...why the hell couldn't he have just passed the fucking disease to you instead, then maybe he'd still be able to fuck me!"
That's when I lost it.
I lashed out at her, tackling her out of her chair and slapping her and yanking hard on her short blond strands.
I felt Alex wrap his arms around my middle and pull me off of her, leaving me frantically clawing at the air and kicking and screaming like an absolute lunatic.
"I FUCKING HATE YOU!!" I screamed at Barbara, while still held back by Alex.
"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT MY DAD YOU FUCKING WHORE, YOU DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO SAY SHIT ABOUT HIM, YOU DIDN'T EVEN LOVE HIM! YOU DIDN'T FUCKING LOVE HIM BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING HEARTLESS SLUT!! FUCK YOU! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, BITCH!!!" I screamed at her with tears rolling down my cheeks.
I was so flustered and annoyed and angry, oh..so fucking angry. I just couldn't fucking take it anymore.
Barbara sat up now, glaring at me, rubbing her cheek from where I slapped her.
But she didn't say anything, she just sat there, listening to me scream and bash at her. I didn't know if it was going through her dumb little brain or not, but I really hoped it was.
I was an insane, angry, crying mess. I just wanted to leave.
"Alex, get the fuck off of me!" I snapped, completely agitated.
"No!" He protested, fighting against my squirming, probably thinking I was gonna try to attack Barbara again.
"No, Alex I'm calm, I'm fucking fine I just- JUST PLEASE FUCKING LET GO OF ME!" I broke down as sobs rippled through me.
He hesitantly let go, and I quickly picked up my song book off the floor where I had dropped it, then dashed over to side table by the front door and picked up my keys.
"Oh, and I'll be staying at Alex's for now on, so you don't have to 'beg the heavens' anymore." I snapped at Barbara, before stomping out the door to Alex's car as he followed closely behind.
We both got in the car and just sat there in an uncomfortable silence.
"Tay..."
"You didn't have to be so nice to her. You were so calm and polite..you didn't need to do that." I huffed with my arms crossed, looking straight forward.
"I had to be polite! She's your par-"
"DON'T say parent." I snapped, glaring at him.
He lifted his hands up in surrender.
"I just wanted to make a good first impression, I didn't realize she was..like that."
I sighed and shook my head.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"Sorry." He gave me a sad, guilty look that broke my heart.
"So..my house I guess?"
Then realization hit me and I started crying all over again.
"Oh my God, Alex!! I pretty much invited myself into your house without thinking, I'm so fucking sorry, y-you don't have to take me in or anythi-"
"Tay, please. I'm here for you no matter what. No matter how big the issue is, okay? That's a promise. Jane is still out, but she definitely won't mind you staying when she gets back. And I rarely ever see my old man anyway so it's no big deal, really."
I still gave him an unsure look.
"Tay, its okay. I'm serious. We'll just come back and get your stuff and your car when you're ready and when she's not home. It'll be fine, okay?"
I sighed and looked down at my fidgeting fingers in my lap.
"I don't wanna be a burden, Alex."
"You're not a burden, you're my girlfriend." He reached over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, before driving us off to his house.
I was craving a razor the whole ride there.

When we got there, Alex walked straight to the fridge.
"Okay, we haven't missed breakfast yet, what do you want?" He called from the kitchen.
I looked down at my feet.
"Uhm..nothing."
He turned around and looked at me.
"You need to eat, Tay."
I shook my head.
"I-I'm not hungry."
"Tay, yes you are. I can tell. Your stomach's always growling, and it's like you've gotten smaller, if that's even possible."
I was shocked at this.
I'm actually losing weight??
"It must be working, then."
He furrowed his brows at me.
"Working?? What's working? Starving yourself? Tay, there's absolutely nothing wrong with your body. You're getting sick, you need to stop."
My eyes started to fill with tears. I was having a really emotional day, you can't blame me.
"Sick? W-what do you mean? I-I'm n-not trying to get s-sick..I just...wanna be sk-skinny!" I tried to choke down my sobs.
"Tay, I'm not letting you give yourself a fucking eating disorder. You have to start eating, TODAY." He started pulling something out of the freezer.
"W-what are you doing?"
"I'm making you Eggo waffles. We've gotta bring your appetite back somehow."
He took a waffle and put it in the toaster.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned away from him so he wouldn't see me.
I'm so stupid and weak.
He's seen me do all this stupid stuff, he thinks I'm stupid, he's gonna leave me.
I had started crying again without even realizing it.
I felt two arms wrap around my middle.
"Stop crying, beautiful. I'm only doing this to help you." Alex whispered, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"I-I know.." I whispered.
"Come on, I only made you one. We can start off small, okay?"
I gave him a small nod, and he kissed my cheek, then pulled me over to the table.
He put the waffle on a plate and sat it down in front of me. Then, he just sat in the seat beside me.
I was kind of uncomfortable.
"Uh-um..could you maybe um...eat too? Or something? You're uh..you're just- staring at me."
"Oh!! Uh yeah, I can..sorry." He gave me a little smile, then got up to fix himself a waffle as well.
I looked down at the sweet-smelling breakfast in front of me.
I have to start eating again.
I have to do this for Alex.
Goddamn, this smells fucking delicious.
I cut a small piece with my fork, and ate it.
Holy fucking shit.
I fucking missed this, oh my God.
I jabbed my fork into the waffle again, and ate another bite. Then, Alex sat down and began eating his. He didn't really look up or try to judge me or anything, and for that I was grateful.
Once he finished his food, he looked over and smiled when he saw that I ate the whole thing. He threw our paper plates in the trash, then led us up to his room.
"So, what do you wanna do?" He asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"It's been a long day, I really just wanna lay down." I cradled my aching head, and laid down in the bed and curled up under the covers.
Alex joined me, spooning me and wrapping his arm around my middle.
There was silence for a while, then he broke it.
"She called you fat." He blurted, causing me to furrow my brows and turn around to look at him in confusion.
"Barbara. She called you fat."
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Um yeah? Okay?"
"Is that why you don't eat anymore?"
I fell silent for a moment, and broke eye contact with him.
"W-well, partly I guess."
"You know it's not true, right? Its far from true." He whispered, moving some hair out of my face with his smooth fingertips.
"I-I need to go to the bathroom. Really bad." I said quickly, crawling over him and out of the bed.
My razor cravings were at an all time high today.
I ran out into the hall, and into the next door bathroom. I closed the door behind me, then looked around in search of what I need. But I couldn't find one ANYWHERE!!
I looked all around the tub, and in the bottom cabinet, which ended up having things fall over and was kind of loud and I had to quickly pick it all up.
Then, I scrambled through the top cabinet by the mirror and still couldn't find a fucking razor!!
I was so close to breaking down at this point.
"I CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT!!" I screamed out of annoyance without thinking.
"Find what?" I heard from the doorway.
I turned to see Alex, giving me a concerned look.
Shit! I didn't even lock the fucking door!
I. Am. A. Dumbass.
I burst into sobs, and collapsed to the floor.
"You don't like me anymore! I'm sorry! I'm dumb! I'm sorry!!" I repeated, sobbing into my hands.
He ran over beside me and wrapped his arms around my shaking body.
"Shhh...that's nonsense. I could never stop liking you, no matter what. You're so fucking beautiful, Tay. I just wish you'd believe it. Stop hurting your beautiful body, please. Just please." He whispered, rocking us back and forth to soothe me.
"I'm s-sorry, A-Alex.." I cried into his chest.
"Shhh..it's alright. You're okay. How about we just go back to bed and cuddle and watch a movie and relax, okay? We don't have to talk about all this stuff anymore, kay?"
I nodded, and wrapped my arms around his neck as he picked me up and carried me back to his bed.

We cuddled and watched Peter Pan (at Alex's request).
Near the end of the movie, he turned to me and smiled.
"What?" I laughed, raising a brow at him.
"Wendy, run away with me.." He started singing.
"I know I sound crazy, don't you see what you do to me.."
He leaned down and kissed my neck.
"I wanna be your lost boy, your last chance, your better reality..yeah!" He pecked me on the cheek, causing me to giggle.
"Did you write that?"
"Well..I will, later. It just came to me after watching this with you." He winked, causing me to giggle some more.
"Gee, I didn't realize I was so inspirational!" I grinned.
"Mhmm.." He leaned in and connected his lips with mine.
We stayed like that for a while, with our lips moving perfectly together in time with the other. It was absolutely perfect, just like him.
We broke apart, resting our foreheads together and smiling like idiots.
"Be my Wendy, forever and ever?" He whispered.
My smile got even wider.
"Well only if you'll be my Peter Pan."


*************NOTES**************

Notes

I used the Peter Pan..cliche, I know but I had to xP
Omg I haven't updated in like 2 days, I apologize. Here, take this action-packed, emotional, fluffy chapter as my apology. I had pretty bad writer's block as well as being busy, I honestly had no idea where I was going with this chapter tbh xD

And so ya, I'm trying to not have Tay's body image issues turn into an actual eating disorder simply bc of the fact that I do not have one and I can't write about someone having an eating disorder if I don't know exactly how it feels. So Alex is helping her instead :3

And HEEEEYYYY you guys are like my friends now so I wanna interact with you by posting little fun questions in my chapter notes so that (along with your opinions of the chapter), you can answer them in the comments! Sound fun? Okay let's try it.
QOTD: Who's your favorite member of All Time Low?
I'm a Jack girl x) <3

Commenttt and vote pweeaasseee! Oh and sub if ya wanna ;)
Thanks! :)

Title cred: A Match Into Water- Pierce The Veil