Circles

I couldn’t help, but feel anxious from all this I mean tonight I am doing something about this whole thing maybe putting an end to it because I know he won’t give up without a fight so I’m going to have to give him a fight. I walked into Sumo Cyco’s bus we still have 45 minutes till we get to party I volunteered to set up SC’s bus since I am one of their managers I moved to the small second mini fridge checking to make sure we had what we needed, okay so Beer check, JD Check, Captain Morgan’s check, Polar Ice Check, Smirnoff regular and Ice Check, Sourpuss check, Tequila Rose Check, Blue Curaçao check, Bacardi check, grenadine, Coke-cola, sprite, orange, and grape crush, Gin, Tonic, Check, check, check, and check. Alright all good besides my 3 and they are on my bus Strawberry Pineapple Vex, Peach Schnapps, and Watermelon Smirnoff sweet were all good on alcohol glad the guys brought some with them, and stuffed it here for tonight. I reached up to the cubbort above me to grab the red solo cups and plastic shot glasses setting them up same with some chips, and candy knowing Jack, Shy, Alex, Andy (of SC), Phoenix, and myself there better be candy. Phew done finally okay 20 minutes time to go get on something a bit better for partying well something better underneath. I headed out the door back to my bus to my surprise as I walked up the steps my sister was standing there holding what I wanted.

“Shay you gonna explain these to me?” She said holding up something that may be a bit incriminating about tonightpolyvore.com/cgi/set?id=111882316
“What they are nice.” I said trying to brush it off. “Why were they laid out on your bunk then?” she countered holding them forward as I grabbed them walking past. “You had sex with Ashley am I not allowed to have sex? I am the older twin after all.” I said rubbing it in. “by like 5 minutes, and wait who is it I bet..” She paused as her eyes widened. “This is your plan this is your pay back dude not smart wait is it even Jack your doing it with?” she questioned. “Its part of my plan I am basically calling him over about 2 hours before bus call I’m just going to get shit faced, and hope my plan works after tonight we should be out of each others sytems and him allegedly loving me will go away its only lust Shy I don’t know if I can say it enough even if he persists I am going to tell him I can’t be with him even tho I have feelings its best we just stay away for good because life is changing for both of us drastically I’m on the rise he is almost at the top now, and they are only getting more popular.” I said in hopes Shy would understand this is just how it has to be for us. “Well I guess I may not approve, but who am I to stop this after what I did with Ash.” She said sitting on my bunk. “Wait what?” I yelled. “Well umm you see I like Ash a lot.” “Since when did you guys even talk before the other day?” I continued yelling its not that I don’t want her with Ash he really is an awesome guy he just can’t keep it in his pants, and I don’t need her hurt like I was.

“Umm I stole his number from your cell right after the first time we talked to them together on skype about 2 months ago, but I’m not going t get in a relationship with him he’s going to have to make that move on his own. I’m making him work for it.” Shy told me. “You took my cell took Ash’s number then do all that behind my back what the hell I don’t care you hooked up, but seriously sis you are going to get hurt.” “Just like you’re hurting Jack tonight hurting his feelings playing with Jake. Fuck Shay just choose who you want because you admitted your pretty much in love with Jack, but you can’t have Jake he is in a committed relationship we both know its not going to last much longer, but Shay don’t play with both of them.” Shy yelled as she got in my face then just left the bus to go to the party. Guess its show time I walked to the bathroom slipping on the new outfit so I was comfy to party I walked out put on my ATL beanie, and my corpse bride converse I walked out of the bunk area to the mini fridge grabbing my alcohol for the night before heading over to the party.

As I stepped out of the bus I could hear the music just thumping away as I neared I saw Alex stumble out of his bus with Jack in tow. “Shay” Alex called over to me. I waved before meeting them half way. “Hey you look comfy now.” He said. “yea I couldn’t stand wearing my stage clothes any longer it was driving me nuts especially my heels.” I laughed out as we headed up the steps into the party I grabbed Jack by the hand smiling dragging him off. “Shay I think you grabbed the wrong person” he yelled over the music. “Nope I didn’t here.” I said pouring him some Vodka, and tonic knowing it was his favorite drink. “Thanks Shay my favorite can’t believe you remembered its been what six months or so since we partied.” He said as I poured myself a Gin, and Tonic with some Peach Schnapps in it as well as pouring to Midnight Kiss Shots before handing one to Jack. “What’s this for and what’s in it” he asked with his eyebrow cocked. “It’s called midnight kiss… its tequila rose, and Blue Curaçao so let’s make a Cheer’s to the start of my career taking off and you guys finally hitting the top.” I said accentuating midnight kiss raising my eyebrow at him smirking hoping he would catch what I meant. He just smiled down at me before making our shot glasses clink together. “Cheers to us Shay welcome to the tour life finally.” He said just before taking his shot as I took mine too. “Jack come to my bus at well I guess you caught the drift I want to talk to you alone.” “Yea I got it I’ll be there at midnight.” He said walking away.

“Body Shot’s!” My sister’s voice filled the air ah fuck not again last time we partied she did this too she’s been really chummy with Zack since they got here so it’s good to see she’s not really sitting alone a lot of the crew is afraid of us two for how bold we are. “Shay you have to do one, or let someone do one!” She yelled over the music. “Fine be there in a sec.” I moved through the crowd I went to go past Jack, Brandon, and Andy (SC) I felt my ass be grabbed I whipped around to see all three of them pointing at each other yelling tho Jack was smirking. Glad I am getting payback in a few hours. I got to Shy putting my hand on her shoulder. “Alright, but it’s not going in my belly button again that was awkward last time so I can stand and they can get it from my cleavage, but that’s it.” “You’re no fun. Alright whoever wants to do a body shot line up because you’re doing them off Myself, Shay, Phoenix, Mercedes, Cass, or Sever so I will choose once you line up no taken men allowed to participate unless your well Rian since that is your girl!” She called out as THOR (AKA Ken), Andy, Jack, Brandon, Rian, and Joey one of the crew members stepped up to us. Shy smirked at me oh no she isn’t doing what I think she is this means I have to take off my over shirt if so. “Alright so Brandon and Sev, Andy and Mercedes, Ken and Phoenix, Rian and well of course Cass, and myself and Joey, so that leaves Shay with Jack.” I leaned over to her. “Fuck you.”I said shaking my head. Jack walked over with a smirk. “What are you smirking at Jack-ass?” “the thought that I’m taking a shot off you.” “Really? Really now? I never could have guessed.” I said rolling my eyes. “Because I won’t do it from my belly button here.” I said unbuttoning my over shirt before handing it to him because I really don’t want anything on it this is my favorite blue one. “Don’t let any alcohol get on it.” I warned. “Where are you putting it then?” “Right here where else would I?” I said pointing to my Cleavage. “Sweet he said as Shy passed me my shot before finally fixing her’s. I placed the shot between my breasts adjusting them so it would sit right. “Alight now that everyone has theirs on the count of 3 take your shot. “You better not make a mess.” “If I do I’ll lick it up.” He said as Shy started to count down “3…2…1…” Jack leaned down picking up the cup with his teeth lightly grazing my breasts I mental shuttered at this he spilled it a bit purposely most likely before fully picking up the shot with his mouth taking it throwing his head back before swallowing and pulling the cup away from his mouth he smiled at me. “Wanna do another round?” he said smirking. "No, and you made a mess." "Oh did I here" he said leaning down licking up my cleavage. I shot him a glare before punching him in the arm lightly. Walking away to dance with Cass, The twins, and my sister.

~1 hour later
I walked off to get another drink. Cass is going nuts dang she has so much energy. I started to grab one of my tallboys of watermelon vodka when I got turned around making me jump. “Alex you scared me you ass.” I said smacking him in the arm.”Sorry anyways you having fun?” “Yeah I am this is a great party, but I have to clean up my cleavage now because Jack spilled a bit of JD down my shirt then licked it up as a joke when I told him he spilled it on me.” “Umm Shy wants you for a min outside anyways she said she has something to help you ease the stress I hope it’s not anything bad.” “Nawh its cool Lex you know that I don’t do drugs maybe a little bit of shisha or hookah that’s it I don’t do weed.” “Alright then go see her, but ask Zack he may want a bit.” “Alright thanks Hun” I called walking over to Zack. I tapped him on the shoulder and waved for him to follow me out “Shy where you at I want some now?” “Want what?” Zack asked me. “Hookah wans a bit or you stop doing that?” “I haven’t had it in a while, but I’ll have a little then I’m going in” “Kay Shy where are you for f sakes” “I’m over here” she called out sticking her hand out around back of the bus “Sweet you go any rolling papers since I don’t do bongs.” I asked her. “Yea got it already ready to go, and Zack you’re having some I guess?” she said. “If there’s not enough their cool catch you two inside.” He said heading back. “Lates Buddy.” Shy said with a slight slur she’s been going since she left the bus earlier clearly. I light up the small roll of heaven in front of me I’ll need this for later, and maybe a few more shots too. “So how is your plan going?” “It’s going alright you kinda helped it along there I knew what you were doing the moment I saw Jack smirk while stepping up you had that planned.” I said to her. “Yea, but it worked he’s in there sweating what is going to happen in 2 or so hours.” “I guess, but damn where did you get this it’s better than the ones back home” “MD gave it to me” “damn I better thank him in the morning, but I am done you finished?” “Yea I’m just going to put this back in my bunk” “Kay see you back inside.” I said exhaling the last bit watching my sister walk off to our bus before turning around heading inside the bus. Man this shit if amazing time to get another drink this is my fifth I think in total plus 3 midnight kiss Shots.

~2 hours


Its almost midnight and I am freaking why did I do this. I can’t back down I looked at the bottle in my hand about an hour ago I gave up on shots, and drinks just grabbed a bunch of tequila rose, and the blue Curaçao mixed enough that I had a drink so I could do this, but I am still nervous 5 minutes. To go might as well head into the bathroom, and take off the extra clothes. I was standing there looking at myself in the mirror am I really going to do this. Am I really going to finally end this move on because right now its all I want I put on some Short shorts and a lace over top it wasn’t long I had to wait.

“Shay you in here.” Fuck its time. “Yea I am in the back I’ll be out there in a moment Jack” “Kay” breathe Shay you can end this just walk out there tell him the truth just do it don’t be a fucking chicken its just Jack we fight all the time just tell him the truth then kiss him tell him make this a sweet goodbye once, and for all. I stayed frozen for a few moments. “Shay you alright?” he asked “I’m just fine hang on I’m in the bathroom I’m just fixing my hair” “you probably look good as always just get out here” I sighed opening the door heading off to the front lounge. “Hey so what did you want to talk about” My heart needs to stop racing so bad.

“Umm it’s just I have to tell you the truth Jack I yes still like you maybe even I hate these words be in love with you, but still we aren’t an option and I think we should make this a sweet goodbye finally after tomorrow part ways for good because clearly we aren’t good for each other not even a little bit your at the top now always on tour, and I’m on the rise plus I am moving to L.A. we’ll be even further apart our lives are too different to be together so do you want to make our last night around each other fun?”

“Shay what the fucking hell? You finally admit you love me, you wear that shirt, and you want to walk away from it for good? Do you know how much you damn well frustrate me? just fuck” He said running his hands down his face and through his hair. “Well how do you expect me to be with someone who is never there, who is known as a player, who is self-centered, annoying, Childish, does stupid stunts for attention, the list could go on and on Jack I was trying to be nice, but you make it so hard!” I exclaimed moving so I was standing in front of him.

“Do you think it’s easy to literally fall in love with miss I don’t need love, miss I don’t fucking believe in it, someone who is a hard ass, who still starves themselves, who plays games with peoples heart you’re so infuriating to be around you drive me insane because of how much of a smart ass you are how you have played these games since day one!” He yelled back at me standing up towering over me.
“You don’t fucking get it do you? Why I am going away? why I am not giving into my feelings? because the only people 3 people I ever loved one she yes SHE Jack left me because she didn’t know what she wanted, one of the other’s turned out to be her x she had decided she wanted he beat me till I found Scott, he saved me from that we were supposed to be married last summer he cheated on me with my best friend Anne they turned their backs and then made my life hell. I lost a child because of that I gained so much damn weight from being with him I gave up my first shot a music for him modeling everything Jack when I give myself to someone its all of me they just leave me, beat on me, or cheat, and you will be the same that’s why I am…..”I was cut off with Jack roughly grabbing my face pulling me in planting a rough, but passionate kiss on my lips holding it there. I started to kiss back once the shock faded after a few moments jack started to pull away holding his hands on my neck, and cheek. pressing his forehead against mine. “Do you ever shut up because I’m nothing like them I never will be why can’t you get that Shay like fuck you drive me insane I’m tired because your all that’s on my mind the way you move on stage the way you dress everything about you kills me its making me so tired just fucking give it up let things just happen.” He said pulling me back to him kissing me passionately.

Notes