Circles

As I stood in the airport with Skye and her band Sumo Cyco plus Courage My Love all the Crew, and managers. Waiting for my Mom She is coming I am so glad the day Jack left my place he forgot his Sweater and hat because well I got them with me for tour I decided to wear his sweater it still smells like him I miss the guys a lot I looked down at my outfit and all my luggage. polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=111146200
He and I haven’t talked about what happened then again we haven’t even talked besides him asking me to bring his hat and sweater to give back since they are his favorites. Which I honestly don’t blame him and I will give them back on the last day with them for the tour I like sleeping in it it’s like having him with me which is sad I told Alex the full story of what exactly happened when they went to the bar to say the least I think Alex may be slightly scard by Jack and I’s behavior’s and what we were doing to each other that night and we looked worse than I thought we did a bit he had a few scratches on him from my nails, my makeup was running again, my hair was bad, my lip was bleeding from biting it, and I had a bruise on my back from where I backed myself up, and the bite marks on me were pretty bad especially the one with the hickey it actually almost bled we really needed to calm down, but it was so worth it in the end.
I just can’t think of why we even were like that we love each other which is odd we basically admitted that. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Skye tapping my shoulder. “Hun I think your family is here well your mom’s side and sister.” I looked up to see Mom, Mehl, Auntie Nina, James, Grandma Elizabeth, and Grandpa Fredrick coming up, but no Jameel I actually wanted him here after all he is technically the only father I’ve ever had, but morely my grandma is here oh my god Granny managed for me to come out she was just in the hospital too like she had surgery last week and now she’s here I started crying because she is my everything I don’t care my grandma means everything if it wasn’t for her always encouraging me I never would have started modeling or singing she is the only one who fully accepts me no matter how different I am. I took off running down to them jumping up on my cousin James he’s been out in B.C. studying and he came all this way to see me leave for tour.
God it feels good to know some people love and support me especially after Tay found out what happened a few days after the boy’s left. That was a horrible break up I can honestly say I feel like shit about that because I had no clue he was falling for me, but in a way I am glad because I know Jack is pretty much in love with me. I don’t love him I can’t I don’t believe in love and I sure as hell don’t need love I’ve never needed it I’ve been just fine on my own right. “Shay can I put you down now?” James asked pulling me from my thoughts. “Yea sorry cus. You honestly don’t know how much I missed you like you are here how don’t you have exams?” I asked as he put me back on the ground. He’s only a month older than me he’s like the brother I never had. “well I kinda lied to surprise you so surprise!. Good luck out there since I can’t be around to save your ass” He said hugging me again I went on to my Auntie Nina.
“I can’t believe you missed work to see me go off.” I said hugging her she is my favorite Aunt and to top it off she is my god mother. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world baby girl I know how much this means to you, and I am always going to be here for you no matter what. Like I’ve always been this is your dream go make us even more proud I love you sweatpea.” She told me as she pulled away tearing up both my momma and my Auntie’s oldest babies are out now James is going to be Bio-Medical Engineer, I’m becoming a Rock Star, and Mehl already has Pre-acceptance to Med school at 15 she’s a young genius.
I moved down to my Sister “Mehl I know you don’t want me to leave, but please take care of mom alright I know she can handle herself, but still and I know I don’t say this very often to you, but I love you, and I’m so proud in a year you’ll be done high school early and going to med school take care of yourself alright?” I asked her through tears. “I will I promise I love you too I know I wasn’t very supportive of this dream before but I see now your doing it so go and make this tour start the rest of your life.” She said hugging me I moved to my grandpa Fred.
“Grandpa before you say anything I promise this won’t change me I’ll always be your little girl alright, and you’ll always pretty much be my father figure in my life, and I love you thank you for coming. I know this isn’t what you wanted for me in life, but I promise I will make it.” I said hugging him. “Hey don’t get all sappy no one is going anywhere I’m glad to hear all that. no I don’t really want this life for you, but it choose you not you choose it so go get your dreams baby. I know this is what you always dreamed of.” He said hugging me one last time kissing my head.
I moved over crouching down in front of the wheelchair. “Granny how are you feeling?” “I’m fine darling.” She said smiling. “I’m glad, and you’re supposed to be home resting.” I said looking her in the eye. “I wasn’t going to miss seeing my oldest and one of my only granddaughters off.” She said crying a little. “Granny please don’t cry.” I begged wiping under her eyes. “Just I’m so proud of you. You followed your dreams and your about to go on tour even though its only 4 performances your getting out there making a living for yourself.” She said grabbing my hand’s continuing. “Will you always be my darling gal baby?” she asked me for maybe the millionth time in my life. “Always granny I’ll Always be your darling girl. I love you granny so much thank you for encouraging me to follow my dreams all these years I wouldn’t have made it this far without you here pushing me every step of the way to do my best.” I said hugging her tight.
Crying now myself this woman just means the world to me when I thought we were losing her I locked myself away for days crying my eyes out. “I’m not going anywhere this surgery gave me another 15 I’ll make it to 90 I’ll see you make it. You will make it no if, ands, or buts about it. I want you to go do this make your stand on the world show them ha I made it show all your old bullies, your mule-headed step dad, that stupid little x of yours, and most importantly yourself that you got something to live for and you made it they didn’t.” She said as she pulled me back looking me dead in the eye. “Go get’em honey.” I pulled away, but not before kissing her cheek.
I stood up moving behind the wheel chair to get to my mom. “Shay I can’t believe this all these years I thought you were living in lala land trying to make an alternate reality to escape to, but here you are doing what so many dream of and very few do I will see you in 2 months for when you perform I’m so proud of you I knew you could do it. I love you baby girl now go show the world who you were meant to be.” She said hugging me. “Thanks Momma I love you so much please take care of yourself in the mean time I will see you in two months and Skype you every weekend.” Cried into her shoulder before pulling away as I heard.
“Flight 166 to Dublin Ireland now boarding.” Come over the intercom. “Looks like that’s you Cus.” James said I hugged everyone one last time before waving good bye heading to my gate with everyone else boarding the plane to my start off my life.
I sat down in my seat as I girl with reddish purple hair with blue low lights sat down next to me I recognized her from our group might as well make this interesting. “Hey I am Shaden but everyone calls me Shay I work as Merch & Tour management for the bands this tour and will be performing some dates.” I said smiling at her. “ I know and Hi there I’m Shyanna, but everyone calls me Shy I work as a lighting and sound tech for CML” She told me with a smile. “Shay and Shy do you guys see how much you look alike.” Brandon said sitting next to Shyanna. I looked at this girl infont of me she can’t weight no more than 100lbs soaking wet, but he is right we do look a little alike. I leaned back with my earbud’s in as we took off soon as we were up I took them out and got to know Shy turns out we are a lot alike

Notes